Has anyone had a strange experience or dream that you are afraid to tell anyone about..........

Peggi - posted on 01/23/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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I have had a few strange experiences & dreams that I'm afraid if I tell anyone because they'll think I've lost my mind. About 2 months after our baby died from SIDS I felt like I could feel him around me, I could even smell him. The smell was so strong. I was walking down the hall & I was actually afraid to turn around. I just knew that if I did there would be my dead baby with that dead face floating behind me. I could smell him several different times.I had horrlble dreams about reliving finding him dead, always with the dead face. I couldn't go a night without dreaming about him.



This went on for a few weeks. I started dreaming one night & I woke up with my heart just pounding. I opened my eyes & there was somone standing at the end of our bed. I shook my husband, freaking out because someone was standing there watching us. He couldn't see anyone & when I looked I couldn't see anyone either. I figured I was dreaming again. I went back to sleep, fow how long I don't know. All of a sudden I woke up & just knew that it had been Jesus standing there. I could suddenly in my mind see the robe, long hair & the beard. It took a sec but I suddenly felt safe, that everything was ok, that he was letting me know my baby was safe with him. He was beautiful with a smile on his face. My baby was happy. I can not explain the feeling that came over me..peaceful like. I went back to sleep but I started to dream terrible things again & I woke up. I opened my eyes, said "Nathan, I love you" out loud and went back to sleep. I have never had a nightmare since. That was 23 years ago.



When my other son died at 22, 17 years later, I just knew they were together & Justin was holding Nathan in his arms like he used to do. I have never dreamed about also finding him dead either.



I have told a few people & I get that look like.......Oh, here she goes. My husband believes me & Thanks God every day for taking the nightmares away. I feel blessed to have experienced this, I know it was real. It took away all the nightmares & fears. I really have to think about do I dare tell this person or will they call the physc ward???



I still miss them both terribly, can cry in a second or think of them with a smile. I'm still their mom....

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Zoe - posted on 02/15/2009

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I had a dream while I was pregnant about two months before I lost Emma, and I woke up the next morning and told Brandon that either me or Emma wasn't going to make it. I can't tell what the dream was about, but it was a feeling so strong that I told him. He told me I was being stupid and to stop thinking "like that". When I woke up from the C-section, I said see, told you so... He just went a shade of grey and started crying...

Heather - posted on 02/15/2009

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I had a dream when I was about 2 months pregnant with my son that at six months I started to give birth.  There were a lot of details, seeing the birthing fluid around me, the people, and no one really feeling the fear that I was having.  The main key was that in my dream he died.  Sadly I gave birth to my son, stillborn, 2 days shy of being 6 months pregnant.  I told three people about this dream when I had it, my mom, MIL and husband.  Now I find that I'm affraid if I ever have a similar dream I'll have to assume it's a premonition.  Some people think that it was a warning...or a preperation...I just think it was cruel.



~Heather http://mystolenlight.blogspot.com/

Peggi - posted on 02/10/2009

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I know my older son is still around too. I frequently make piles of stuff to carry upstairs, this room or that & often when I get around to taking it where it goes, the item is missing. I backtrack all over the house thinking I know I put it there & when i finally go back there it is. In plain sight. I can just hear him laughing at me...........He always used to do that to me!

Patricia - posted on 02/10/2009

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I think it's amazing the way our love ones communicate with us & let us know they aren't gone just away. A day never goes by that I don't still talk to her because I know that she hears me & sends messages often.

Trish - posted on 02/10/2009

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patricia, i too had a similar experiece, the day my daughter was killed in a car accident. she was on her way home from a trip with her friend, the friends mom was driving, and fell asleep at the wheel killing my daughter and her only two daughters. the accident happened just before 6 pm. i was at home with my sisters who where up visiting, we were planning my wedding, and the t.v was on in the background, it was wierd but all of a sudden i heard avirl lagvine singing knocking on heavens door. i was like thats really cool i didn't know she sang that song, raichel (my daughter will love that, avril is her fav. singer) it only played part of the song and then kinda just swiched to a different show (like a flicker). Soon it was getting late so i decided to call her friends house and leave a message to say keep rai over nite and i would get her in the morning that was around 10pm. then the song came back on the t.v (video) we all sat there and watched it in full. It was about 1am when the police came to the door to give me the news. i have never heard avril sing that song since and it will have been 6ys july 30th.

Julie - posted on 02/09/2009

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People are just too scared of the unknown and will look at u odd. I get it all the time, as I see and hear spirit an awful lot, and people just think Im some odd ball, so its nice to be able to talk to like minded people.. As u said, until they experience something, we will always get the odd looks.... Dont know wot there missing .........



 



Just want to say, I have never lost a child, so would never come near to how u must feel. I do have a little boy who is three and a miricle child to me as I was told I could never have a baby as I have a bone syndrome and also had breast cancer, but the year after I had cancer I found out I was five months pregnant, and I really do feel that he is a gift from God xxx

Peggi - posted on 02/09/2009

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Thank you.....I do find comfort knowing they are together again & I will someday be with them.  The dream really helped me understand that the baby was ok. It's just that when I tell someone they hesitate & look at me like I've lost it. It's sad that until they experience it for themselves they don't get it.

Julie - posted on 02/09/2009

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That is such a sad and lovey story all in one. You must take comfort from your dream u had of your baby when he was happy, he just wanted to let u know from spirit that he is well and truly being looked after by Jesus and now his other brother... Im so sorry to see u have lost 2 sons, but always remember they have not gone far its just that we cant see into the other world yet except through our dreams, they will be wiv u at all times watching over u and your family.... God bless

Peggi - posted on 02/09/2009

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Patricia,



It's amazing how people react to our experiences. For some of us they are great comfort. I understand why you quit telling people. For you it meant your daughter was still with you,  beside you beside you, guiding you.  find comfort in that, everyone else can go blow!!

Patricia - posted on 02/09/2009

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I lost my 17 year old daughter, Krystina, in a car accident on Feb. 25, 2007. She was on the way home from a friends funeral that had been killed in a car accident while texting so she refused to take her phone with her. She called me from a friends phone to let me know that some friends from school were having a hard time so she would be home later because she didn't want them driving while upset. I told her to be careful & try to be home before dark. I was doing laundry so I went about my business. She had a room in the basement so while I was putting laundry away in her room I decided to turn on her heat because she liked her room really warm & I wanted her to be comfortable after such a tragic day. When I turned the heater on I HEARD her voice tell me " Turn it off because I won't NEED it anymore." I found out 2 hours later that it happened at the exact time of her accident. People that I told thought I was crazy, so I stopped telling anyone until now.



She was not only my daughter, but also my best friend. I love & miss her more everyday.

Wanda - posted on 01/29/2009

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life is a mystery not always understood. We wish, dream,pray and share . Times of celebration are often shared as are times of uncertainy. Welcome support, hold family close and greet friends old and new. My wish to you as parents (efforts to try again) = health and happiness to go with good luck. I care.

Diane - posted on 01/29/2009

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Hi I am new here, Ijust wanted to share my experience.  My son Aiden Xavier was a stillborn.  The whole pregnancy was a shaky one.  I bled alot and ended up in for ultra sounds twice early in the pregnancy to see if I had miscarried him.  But both times he was still there.  I felt like he was a little miracle.  But as time went on I started to get these premonitions.  I was relaxing one day and all of a sudden I heard this grown man yelling and freaking out inside my mind.  He was saying where am I get me out of here!  That happened twice during the pregnancy.  When I gave birth to him he was gone.  My husband and I were laying on the bed when the nurses had left the room and Aiden started to speak to me.  He said I am sorry mom but this was not my time, I am not ready to be here.  He spoke as a grown man.  Although I saw him as a little baby physicaly.....  In my thoughts he has always been a grown man.  He stayed with me for about a week after.  Never speaking but I knew he was there.  This experience at the time was horrific for me, I couldn't function properly.  But I know that this is my path and this is what I am suppose to go through in this life.  It will be his first birthday this May 4th.  It has been awhile but my husband and I are ready to try again.  Wish me luck!

Thanisha - posted on 01/28/2009

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I've had lots of dreams like premonitions of the death of one of my children. And comforting dreams after my grandmother died. My daughter also had dreams like those after her sister died. Comforting ones I mean.

Libby - posted on 01/26/2009

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I have had moments like that after my nephew passed.  I called them my Micah moments.  I felt like that was his way of telling me he was ok.  I had the smell of him when I was at work.  Once I heard an elevator ding and I was suddenly back in his hospital room again.  It seemed so real even if it only lasted for a second.  I can totally understand you not wanting to tell people about your experiences.   However, I do believe it means something.  And I think you are totally right on with your analysis of it.  I do believe Jesus came to you and released you of your bondage to those nightmares.  I'm so glad for that.  A lot of those moments pass people by and they don't take the time to validate those moments for our loved ones that have left us.  Maybe it's because they don't believe or they are afraid.  But you validated Nathan by telling him you love him because you knew it was him around you.  You knew...mothers always know!  God bless!

Peggi - posted on 01/26/2009

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I think as parents it is so hard to let go. We took care of them, gave them life. We couldn't stop the unthinkable. That's always going to be with us. It had been almost a year since my 22 year old died from heart failure. My 14 year olddaughter was raped. I'm not going to go there as I know everyone can understand the anger, hurt & pain from that. Anyway, that night she woke up & Justin was sitting on the bed looking at her. He didn't speek, she said he looked sad. She knew then that he will always be with her, it comforted her in a way I couldn't. They were so close, she helped take care of him her whole life, she was his gopher. Go get this, go get that.....they spent alot of time together. Wonderful things can happen to us if we let them i guess.

Jeann - posted on 01/26/2009

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My daughter, Skylar Cara died 14 years ago...I will never get over it but I have chosen to keep that precious time in my heart. It is particularly difficult  on Mother's day...it was the day she left us. I knew she was leaving . I felt a piece of my heart ripped out just before the hospital called to say she was gone.  Embrace the sadness. Remember their lives did have meaning and had an effect you cannot always see the path of...many people were involved in their lives and take away some lesson.  Then keep the love.

Wanda - posted on 01/26/2009

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One of the resons this group is so helpful is that unless a person has experianced the hardsip moments they can not understand certain things. Closure is not a 100% guarantee given after a funeral. Mine is filling in slowly, I will pray for a bit more closure to grace us after we get through the first Memorial Day, maybe a bit more closure after we get past the first birthday without him.

Jeann - posted on 01/26/2009

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I have always believed that the purpose outweighed my need for my daughter to be here. I have felt her with me many times and my next daughter has dreams about her and senses her even though they have never met.



Cherish the gift of his spirit.

Teri - posted on 01/26/2009

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When my daughter Bethany died, I was overwhelmed almost frantic like. I spoke to our Pastor who was so supportive and asked me what I wanted to do during Bethany's service. I stressed the need I had to have her in our church as my other children had been, as I had taught religious education there for quite some time.I requested that he use her name often during the service because I wanted people to remember her and I felt that it would make people remember her has a human being not just an infant. I did not want over the top flowers, just one simple spray of pink roses, I wanted soft lullaby music and I wanted her to be buried in a baptimal dress. Everything was as I asked, and it did make things easier that I was instumental in making these plans even though they were made from my hospital bed as she was buried the day after coming home from the hospital after my c section. I remember being in the church and the entire time, praying so hard to God that I needed to know that she was with him, that I did not think that I could go on unless I knew. I then directed my prayer to Mary, as I felt a kinship to her being a mother. I remember it seemed like I was screaming, I opened my eyes at one point to see if people were staring at me, but the screaming was in my head the same repeated words "please give me a sign that she is with you."

The last song that was sung during the service was the Ave Maria, I knew that it would bring emotion from my family. I heard the words at the beginning of the song and repeated the words begging for a sign. I slowly opened my eyes and there right before me I saw these two beautiful outstretched hands pointing toward me surrounded by a blue and white haze, the hands and arms were so clear and I could not take my eyes off of them, then very slowly as I prayed for a sign again, the arms folded up toward the shadow of blue and white towards her heart. I knew then that it was Mary reaching out to me to let me know that she had my baby in her arms. It has given me a peace to know this. I did not tell anyone what I saw for quite some time because I thought as you did about how they would see me or what they would think about me. But I remember that peace that came over me, as I heard the sobs of my family around me. The Lord and his loving mother came to me to let me know so that I could go on for my family. I have never had another experience like this. It was a gift.

Teri



"I'll cry, or maybe stop someday, or just run out of tears."

"Wait for me, I'll be ther soon."

Wanda - posted on 01/25/2009

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I can sure relate to the part you said about being able to cry in a second... music sometimes sets off my tears with no warning. Poetry can make me cry, his many photos can make me cry. He was 30, left 4 children and a wife he loved deeply. What makes me happiest is to see the children and have time with their mother.

Wanda - posted on 01/25/2009

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yes I have dreams that came after my sons death. But they were of the sort I could not even put on here. I am finding them rare and hoping for more closure in the months ahead after getting past a few things like for example Memorial Day and seeing his new tombstone for the first time.

Wanda - posted on 01/25/2009

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The night before my sons death I had a sign of something warning me= like a omen. Often as I headed out of the farm to drive to my night shift job I could spot a owl up by the railroad tracks sittling like on duty to be my guardian. But the last night I saw it the bird was not on its usual perch, instead it was on the middle of the road clearly visable in the headlights. I thought of this all the hours while working and returning home. Then I entered my home after my shift was over & the phone was ringing, my son lost his life being driven to his day job. My son's best friends mother has become a friend I am sure without this one special helper I'd not be a strong person at all.

Heather - posted on 01/24/2009

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hi there, i had a very heart wrenching dream on a tuesday night. it was of me going to my doctors office on friday and when he did the ultrasound the baby had no heartbeat. the dream had all details of having to cancel my jewelery party and family concerns. i woke up with such a heart ache. well, that friday i went to my doctors office and thats exactly what happened. my daughters heart wasn't beating. -i think that my body knew what was going on and somehow sent the message to my dreams. i've come to fear my truely wierd yet realistic dreams. (a few others have happened too, but this was the icing on the cake for me)



i'm not some odd person who thinks i can see the future. but knowing i lost my daughter BEFORE i found out was well, i can't even put it into words.



the doctors think that her actual death came between mon and wed so the time line fits perfectly.

Peggi - posted on 01/24/2009

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To me my dream meant that God sent his son to let me know my baby was with him. If he couldn't be with me then what better place is there?



2 years later I was with another mom who had lost a baby & I was the one who took her to the funeral home, helped her make arrangements & stayed with her until her family could get there 3 days later. She had an experience with an angel holding her baby. When she told me you could just see some of the pain fade away. Oh she still wanted her baby, but she had just seen her baby girl in the arms of an angel. She knew her baby was loved.



Most of us believe in God, but in our pain it sure made our grief easier to bear to see a sign that our children are safe in the arms of angels.



I thought there would be other moms out there who had an experience like mine...I really could smell him all around me. I felt him there. I wanted him there. But I was still seeing a dead baby in my mind, not the baby with the beautiful smile who would coo to me.



I didn't want to make this post a religious experience,  just moms who miss their children & have had similar experiences.

[deleted account]

Peggi, I have had recurring dreams that came from a different painful experience in my life.  I didn't like having the dreams, because I would wake up so disturbed, so I began to pray and ask God to release me from these dreams.  I have not had one since then. 



 



I am glad that your dreams ended and that you have had peace since then.  I am sorry that you have suffered the death of two children.  May God completely heal you and give you Joy in being re-united with them in Heaven, through Christ Jesus, who has conquered death!

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