Have you moved from the home you raised your child in?

Barbara - posted on 05/21/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My husband and I will be moving in the next month to a new smaller home. We will be leaving behind 23 years of memories. Our son Adam was 18 at the time he was killed in a car accident in 2001. We have a memorial garden in our yard and I am hoping to take the tree and some of the plants to make a new garden. I want to know if anyone else has left the childhood home of their deceased child and how did it feel to be somewhere that has no memories of them.

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Libby - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Barbara:



Quoting Libby:

I'm so sorry you feel like you are leaving behind your memories. But the memories are in your heart, not in the house. You will always remember your son! Good luck with the move, I know it will be an emotional one.





I agree the memories are in my heart but I am concerned about how I will be affected once we are settled. I will get through like I have every new situation since he has left us. Thank you for your thoughts.






I have no doubt that this will be tough for you!  Hang in there. 

Barbara - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Libby:

I'm so sorry you feel like you are leaving behind your memories. But the memories are in your heart, not in the house. You will always remember your son! Good luck with the move, I know it will be an emotional one.


I agree the memories are in my heart but I am concerned about how I will be affected once we are settled. I will get through like I have every new situation since he has left us. Thank you for your thoughts.

Barbara - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Mary:

We didnt live very long in the home where Tristian lived ..after that morning he died of SIDS I never went back in to that house. We did plant a tree at his grand parents house up in the mountains and I can go watch that grow whenever I want it has gotten quite tall in 20 years.



It is so important to honor our children. I am glad you have found a way to honor your son. Thanks for your thoughts.

Barbara - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Karen:

Hi! I am so sad for the loss of your young man. I have twins who are now in their twenties and a thirteen year old. My first son died only 36 hours after he was born. He was born on 5/29/1978 and died 5/30/1978. When he died my grandmother donated a plot for him to be buried in that was a family lot where my grandfather and her own two babies that had died were buried, and ultimately she was buried there as well.
Every Memorial Day (my son died on Memorial Day) without fail I would go and plant fresh flowers at the lot. Six years ago I moved 800 miles away and have not been back there since. I still grieve around memorial day and wish I could go to the grave to plant the flowers. My therapist has suggested that I find some ritual that will memorialize my son's birth and death here. This year I am going to plant an annual garden in my yard for him, and since I rent, no matter where I live I can plant the same flowers in his memory. I think it will help. This weekend is the 31st anniversary of his birth and death, I have not forgotten, nor has the pain gone away, it is easier to deal with, but I still wonder what he would have become.
Not exactly the same thing, but similar situations.


We are not moving out of state just 25 minutes from where we are now. My son was cremated so he goes with us wherever we go. We also have a memorial garden in the yard and I plan on taking the tree, rose and daisies we have in it to the new house for a new garden. My issue is the memories inside the walls of this house. I can remember good times in every room I enter. The yard is full of memories of birthday parties and pool parties. This is were his life was. We do a celebration every year with balloons on his angel day in our yard. We are concerned about it this year because we always had it in our yard and now we will have a smaller yard. Last year 88 people were here to honor our son. Thank you for your thoughts.

Libby - posted on 05/27/2009

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I'm so sorry you feel like you are leaving behind your memories. But the memories are in your heart, not in the house. You will always remember your son! Good luck with the move, I know it will be an emotional one.

Mary - posted on 05/27/2009

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We didnt live very long in the home where Tristian lived ..after that morning he died of SIDS I never went back in to that house. We did plant a tree at his grand parents house up in the mountains and I can go watch that grow whenever I want it has gotten quite tall in 20 years.

Karen - posted on 05/26/2009

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Hi! I am so sad for the loss of your young man. I have twins who are now in their twenties and a thirteen year old. My first son died only 36 hours after he was born. He was born on 5/29/1978 and died 5/30/1978. When he died my grandmother donated a plot for him to be buried in that was a family lot where my grandfather and her own two babies that had died were buried, and ultimately she was buried there as well.

Every Memorial Day (my son died on Memorial Day) without fail I would go and plant fresh flowers at the lot. Six years ago I moved 800 miles away and have not been back there since. I still grieve around memorial day and wish I could go to the grave to plant the flowers. My therapist has suggested that I find some ritual that will memorialize my son's birth and death here. This year I am going to plant an annual garden in my yard for him, and since I rent, no matter where I live I can plant the same flowers in his memory. I think it will help. This weekend is the 31st anniversary of his birth and death, I have not forgotten, nor has the pain gone away, it is easier to deal with, but I still wonder what he would have become.

Not exactly the same thing, but similar situations.

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