Having a Rough Day!!

Sarrie - posted on 10/26/2009

Hi Debra I lost my daughter on December 25th 1988 - there isnt a day that goes by that I dont think of her - the tears have slowed down and when i look at my 16 year old son I think of how proud she would have been of him. The first 5 years were horrible couldnt even put up a christmas tree. When my son was 3 we decided that every christmas we would put an angel on the tree for her and from that day on the heartache seemed to have gotten easier to handle. I am not saying that I still dont have my bad days because i do writing this to you i feel the tears running down my cheeks. I too asked the same question you did why someone who was perfect and had never had a chance at life. There wasnt a priest, minister or anyone else I spoke to could answer this question for me. I promise you it will get easier but no one can tell you when that will be. I hope you find peace and remember that Levi is with you everyday of your life you just cant see him. Take care Sarrie

Gina - posted on 10/26/2009

Hi, my name is Gina. I am new to Circle of Moms, and I'm so thankful to be able to talk to people who REALLY know how I feel. I just wanted to reply to you message. My daughter Alina passed away on June 13, 2006. She was 2 and a half months old. I don't think it is EVER going to get easier for us. I hope and pray that it does, yet I don't think it will. About the holidays, I watch very closely when they open gifts, eat dinner, pretty much ALL DAY. Just because if Alina was here she would be having so much fun. Suck up ALL the joy in children's faces! It will bring some sence of peace to you.

Kitty - posted on 10/26/2009

I am so glad that there are people on this site in similiar situations as me. I lost my daughter 5yrs ago at 7mths old and I am still trying to find the answer to your question but I dont think that I will. I think we keep grieving and thinking constantly about them because we dont want to leave them behind, we want to keep them in our lives forever. But in all truth its not healthy for us, I know that but I know i'll never let her go. I found my daughter it was very traumatic for me and when I close my eyes all I can see is when I found her which I would love to get past and just think of happy times.

I dont know why our children get taken away from us like that, but its definately not fair. But in a way theres nothing we can do.

All I can suggest Debra is have good friends around you, who are supportive and of course like a drink:) Sometimes we need a few lets be honest here!

Having good people around you does help, a supportive partner and family are a must aswell.

And if you do find your answer on here please share with us

Look after yourself anyway, send me an email if youd like to chat about anything

Kitty

Tiffanny - posted on 10/21/2009

My beautiful son died in May 15 years ago the day before club foot surgery, he was healthy and wonderful and born on new years. Christmas is the hardest for me, I love it and I have a son born on the 27th but the son I lost Isaiah ways heavily on my mind at this time. I still get very angry,crazy,unhappy and yet try to put on a front for my other children. Just try to find your outlet to grieve like I take pics out and have at least one night of absolute breakdown and I try really hard not to take my grief out on those still near me instead the sorrow with no expectations of those around me to understand and of all things don't take offense to the statements of those listening and trying to help. I have had many arguements with statements from people that love me but said the wrong thing. Someone wise told me one day you don't really want them to know this kind of grief do you? I thought on this question and the answer was I absolutely do not want anyone to know how terrible this grief is!!! I found my son and that vision will NEVER leave me and the whole thing is something I wish noone to understand. I guess those of us that know it should stand together and be thankful those around us do not understand. If it helps I am sure my son is an angel looking over me and his siblings that will never know him. I am sure he hates to see me cry for him and hopes to see me smile. I will miss his ups and downs in life but I know he watches mine and wants me to be O.K. I see his little face in the clouds when I sit outside and think and he just wants me to be O.K. so that is what I try to be for him!!! I hope this helps :/