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Motherhood after the death of a child: pregnancy, infant

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how do u try make people understand

Claire - posted on 09/09/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

its the 1st year of death of my daughter am 35 weeks pregnant n hurting so much and angry and people dont seem to understand and think am moody i feel like am torn apart n hurt so much right now 8/9/09 my baby girl passed away n am misssing her so much x

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Marci - posted on 09/10/2009

Hello, I lost my son just over 6 years ago. I have since had another son. My last pregnancy was the hardest I was scared that I would loss him as well. No one is going to understand your pain, and you do not have to try and make them understand. They need to respect your feeling and not comment. If they don't like they don't have to be around you. I would tell them how you feel and ask them to respect your feeling if they can't they keep their comments to themselves until they are not around you. It is one of the hardest things you will over go thru and you need support.

Dolores Or Just DeeDee - posted on 09/10/2009

It's bitter sweet, I know. I lost my sweet Karina 7 months ago (she was 2 months shy of her 2nd birthday) and am 15 weeks pregnant. No one knows our pain unless they themselves have gone though this. Your not moody, your mourning. Dates, sounds and so many other things trigger painful memories. Night time is the hardest for me. My last memories of my sweet little one in ICU haunt me every night. I can't sleep without the TV on and it's hard to finally drift off. Everyone gets excited about me being pregnant and I force a smile and all I can do is nod. I'm happy about my child growing inside of me, but this child does not replace my little Kari. We will never forget, never stop hurting and will always have that feeling we're not complete. What comforts me is I feel her around me. I know God is control and I know he has a plan, but I feel so angry. I find it hard to pray and I want to want to let it all go. Don't expect anyone to understand, they can't. I have decided to get help, maybe you should as well. Talking I think might help.

Cindy - posted on 09/10/2009

I'm sorry, Claire, for your loss and your pain...the fact of the matter is...one who hasn't lost their son or daughter will NEVER be able to understand. There really isn't any use in trying to make them understand. I wish that no other mother would ever have to go thru what we've had to but God has it all in his control. So until the day that no more children die all you can do is try to help comfort those who are now going thru it.