how do you celebrate your child's memory

Hope - posted on 06/08/2009 ( 56 moms have responded )

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I know that it will help me cope a little better if I did something to honor the memory of my little Greggy ( 3/23/09- 3/23/09) I think that it will give me some closure, but not forget him

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Takaoiya - posted on 07/20/2009

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Yukiko Kai 2/14-3/11 09 every month i lay flowers under her picture in the house, light candles and insents and i fold a letter and put it in a offering dish and burn it, the smoke carries it into her paradise to her and i give money to the NICU her daddy lights a candle for her and clings to her teddy and blanket all day

Kathleen - posted on 09/14/2012

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My son, Joshua, was born September 17, 1984, I was so blessed to share his life for 27 years. He died in a motorcycle accident at about 1:00am on his 27th birthday, September 17, 2011. His birthday/ death day approaches in only a couple of days. I have been feeling so sad in anticipation of that day. I can't decide how to handle it, as we were blessed to be left with custody of his daughter, Alex, age 4 now. I want to commemorate my son, her father on his birthday, but just not sure what to do. We will most likely get 28 balloons in honor of his 28th birthday...beyond that I don't know how to celebrate his life on the day he was born and died...it's just such a sad day for me. The first time since he was born that I won't be able to be with him, and tell him I love him....ugh! Open to any suggestions...I need to do this for his daughter...if it were up to me alone, I would just buy a bottle of wine and stay in and watch a movie and sleep through that day...but, for my grand-daughter, and my daughter...I need to make it special...Don't Want To! But I Have To!

Sharron - posted on 02/01/2014

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Hi Hope, my son name is Gregory, he went to be with the Lord, 3 months ago, he was 20 months, his birthday is Feb. 6th, and it's hard because I love my son, I miss him, and I want him here with me. I hear people speak about closure, but honestly I don't believe we'll ever find closure. Losing a child is painful, I believe we just have to find a way to live with it. Just know that everyday you talk about Greggy, you are honoring him, long as he is in your heart he will never be forgotten. I often visit the cemetery, and write letters to my child, it helps me cope, but most of all I give it to God

Brinda - posted on 08/05/2013

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I read about Joshua and im in the same position. I lost my son on 21 August 2010.
The day is looming and im already a wreck... I dont know what to do on that day. I will go to the accident site and lay some flowers and maybe to the Durban Beach (South Africa) and throw some roses... other than that what do I do... Im struggling to come to terms with losing my 30 year old son... Help please

Brinda Naidoo

LoraMae - posted on 06/26/2009

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Every year on my son's birthday at the same time he was born we release a balloon. My husband and I started this on his 1st b-day and when our son was born we started getting a 2nd balloon for him to release. We kiss the balloon and release it and then watch it until we can no longer see it. We like to think that when we can't see it anymore, he has grabbed hold of it in Heaven.

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Melissa - posted on 03/02/2014

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My baby girl kimberley would be 19 this year on the 6th of March I want to do something different this yeu to mark her birthday any io please x

Erin - posted on 02/03/2014

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I lost my son after 12 days. I honor his memory by lighting a candle for those twelve days and invite any friends or family members to do so as well. It is amazing to see that you are not the only one that still loves and thinks about your child. It may not be a permanent fix for the loss, but it is something that I am able to reflect on all year and remember that he meant something to not only me, but SEVERAL people. Hope this helps.

Scott - posted on 01/19/2014

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I am Sorry to hear about all the loss if our young ones I know this is a mothers site but they dont have a fathers site, I lost my two amazing step-sons on January 25/2012 in a house fire when they were at there aunts my boys were only 6 and 9 and I was in there lives since devon was the youngest was 10 days old so they were my kids abd it tore me and my wife apart the only woman i have ever loved and she left to move far far away leaving me alone and I usally do something special for there birthdays or anniversary on jordans 10th birthday I got the nhl to donate a bunch of student for every kid at there school nd I got 300cupcakes donated for the kids to enjoy I am just so lost and alone I dont know what I am gunna do any ideas please help thank you scott

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2011

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Thankfully it is something I have not had to do for myself but my sister & friends have been through this. It is so personal though. My sister just visit the grave each week & we all put some money towards the hospital that cared for her. One of my friends did a major fundraiser in her memory, it took about 2 years but raised over 70,000 for hospital unit. Others have run marathons to just making sure on every birthday they have a family day together, talk about the loss & a special meal. Sorry for your loss & hope you find something fitting.

Heather - posted on 08/05/2011

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We lost our son Brennan at 7 months on St. Patricks Day. A week later our community celebrated his short life with a fundraiser to help us move from the apartment where he passed in his sleep, during the day we had a ceremony to plant a tree (a 3 pear tree) as a living memorial in his name. Next Wed (Aug 10) will be his first Birthday. I have decided to make a day to celebrate him with his older sister who is 2 1/2. Every day she calls for him still "Brennan I'm home... where are you?" kisses his pictures and calls him her "butter bear" (she couldn't say brother when he was born and "Butters" stuck.) We are going to get a bear (of her chosing) each year for her to collect and be able to keep him close as she gets older. we will also go to where his ashes lay and release a sky lantern with a message for him. each year releasing an additional lantern is the plan. I'm also trying to come up with a tattoo for him symbolizing him and his name, and one for her with her name as well.
My husband and I are internalizing the loss in very different ways, I need to celebrate him and talk about him, while it hurts him immensely to hear or speak of him at all.

Heather - posted on 08/05/2011

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We lost our son Brennan at 7 months on St. Patricks Day. A week later our community celebrated his short life with a fundraiser to help us move from the apartment where he passed in his sleep, during the day we had a ceremony to plant a tree (a 3 pear tree) as a living memorial in his name. Next Wed (Aug 10) will be his first Birthday. I have decided to make a day to celebrate him with his older sister who is 2 1/2. Every day she calls for him still "Brennan I'm home... where are you?" kisses his pictures and calls him her "butter bear" (she couldn't say brother when he was born and "Butters" stuck.) We are going to get a bear (of her chosing) each year for her to collect and be able to keep him close as she gets older. we will also go to where his ashes lay and release a sky lantern with a message for him. each year releasing an additional lantern is the plan. I'm also trying to come up with a tattoo for him symbolizing him and his name, and one for her with her name as well.
My husband and I are internalizing the loss in very different ways, I need to celebrate him and talk about him, while it hurts him immensely to hear or speak of him at all.

Kay - posted on 07/30/2009

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On what would have been Abbie's 1st birthday & her 1st memory, we had a little tea party for her as I thought she should still have us celebrating her. The next 2 me, her daddy & sister went out for the day, this year will will do he same but joining us will be Abbies 5 month old baby brother also. We always buy her cards, balloons & presents & take them to her 'garden'. x

Astridia - posted on 07/30/2009

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i'm so sorry for your loss i have read many of the responses & there are many good things to try i wouldve suggested tattoo because it seems to help me deal with my best friends death some. I had a tubal pregnancy 5 yrs ago & i think about that baby alot anytime i see a little girl running around i just smile(or try 2) because i know my little girl is probly jumping clouds & playing with all the other little kid angels! She will never leave my heart..i was 4 mths pregnant & i know i never held her or saw her but me & my son wanted her...he was so very excited 2 be a big brother at 3 yr old. well whatever you decide to do i'm sure your son would love it! GOD BLESS U!

Wendy - posted on 07/30/2009

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my kids and i have tied a note to a balloon and let it go we also have a wall in the living room that has pictures of him My son was 7 i lost him on oct 7 2005

Courtney - posted on 07/20/2009

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My daughter was stillborn at 39 weeks on August 29, 2007, last year for her birthday because I live near the ocean I made a wreath, with ribbon, dried flowers and candles and I sent it into the ocean at sunset. My friends all donated money to purchase a bench at a local park that has her name and birthday on it and a tree next to it. I also a big peace lilly that was given to us when she passed away in the corner of our living room with the angel statue that we had an arrangement made for her funeral service. One other thing is I have a shadow box with the dress she wore, the teddy bear that she was supposed to have the the card with the tear drop the hospital put on our door up in our room. I keep her urn in our bedroom also so I can feel her close by.

Victoria - posted on 07/19/2009

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i was 19 when my 1st child was stillborn we takes special flowers to his grave on his birthday along with cards and teddies and little nik naks

Rebecca - posted on 07/16/2009

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Include a picture of child on the wall with the rest of the family member pictures. The picture we had was not the colouring I liked, so we had a sketchist draw and use the old fashion rosy cheek colour on sepia/black and white.

We had a memorial/birthday celebration. Each person was asked if the could bring a small trinket/ornament which we put in a shadow box along with a piece of the fabric our baby was wrapped in, a special outfit we bought for her, (if you have ink or plaster prints of her hands and feet). We buried her placenta, which we collect from each of our children's birth, in the soild of the special tree (we picked a purple Geisha Girl as it is vibrant but looks like a weeping willow with its branches). Each person there added a scoop of soil, covering the placenta, into the Pot for the tree. We had a little plaque engraved with her name, DOB or stillbirth date, and special words such as...Gone but not Forgotten...or In Our Hearts and Minds Forever.

We, haven't as yet, taken her picture, 2D, and had our live children in 3D lasered into a Crystal totem.

Some ppl have used cremation remains to make gems and put it on their necklace along with locket.

The jury is still out, in my ethics, about getting a tatoo, for oneself or each of your family, of a special design relevant to your DS. Tattoos are great compared to jewellery as that can be lost or damged. Make sure that where tattoo goes, the skin won't stretch or it won't get too much sunlight as it discolours or overly sensitive body part. My suggestion would be inside of the ankle. Some ppl say that the other children might feel it; however, it all depends on how you or your family deal with. Perhaps they won't feel left out if they are included in the design stage or if they also, at a certain age appropriate, get a duplicate for themselves.

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my profile pic is of one of my tattoos for my family it has 7 daisies ,one for myself my husband my 3 children who are living and to buds one is partly opened for my son alex who lived for almost 2 days he never quite bloomed fully , the other bud is tightly closed and is for my baby who was never born .I have another tattoo on my shoulder its a camelia flower ,alex was cremated and his ashes were planted under the camelia plant and we visit on the day he died not on his birthday as he was one of twins ,ben is 5 and I dont want his birthday to be a sad day.

Sabrina - posted on 07/06/2009

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Five years ago I lost my daughter at 26 weeks and at her funeral service we sent up 26 pink balloons symbolizing the weeks we spent with her. When I was pregnant with her the only thing that sounded good to eat was ice cream from Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Shop so every year on her birthday we go to baskin robbins and have a quiet birthday party where we sing happy birthday to Jacie and eat ice cream. It brings a little sunshine to a sad day.

Lisa - posted on 07/06/2009

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I lost Haylee when she was 9 1/2 to the day. Each birthday all of our friends and family get together and have a BBQ in her honor. We write her a message and send it up with a ballon. I also have a journal that we put out for whoever wants to write in it and put down thier memories of Haylee or just let her know what is going on at this time of our lives and that we will never forget her.

Laurie - posted on 07/04/2009

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My babies were born March 18th of this year. My Nathan wasnt strong enough and he left the same day. In his memory we have named a star after him and on his first birthday we will visit his grave with flowers and let a birthday balloon loose in the sky, My husband and I are also getting tattoo's done. Little feet with angel wings. Im so sad, but happy bacause Alex is doing amazing. Its the hardest thing to sort through and sometimes I feel like Im not being enough for Alex, but then Im not mourning Nathan enough. I just want to curl up and stay in bed, and I want to be there for my other son too.

Luanne - posted on 06/27/2009

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My angel was born sleeping on 11th June 2003. Every year on his birthday I take yellow roses to the cemetry and I wish him Happy Birthday. I also blow bubbles because my nephew who at the time was 3 tols me that all little boys love to blow bubbles. I scattered his as hes on the sea so that he would see the world and be free. every night i find the brightest star in the sky and I know that my son is in a better place and that he is safe. This may sound silly but when I went to scatter his ashes I walked along the beach and firstly I found a razor clam shell open so it looked like the number 11, his birthday, then i walked a bit further and found the most beautiful pale blue rock, to me this was a sign that it was time to let him go and that he was ok and it was his way of letting me know this. I have the shell and rock on his shelf along with his photo and varios other things. I also have a memory box in which I keep all the messages we received and the drawings that my nephews did for me. I am sure that however u decide to celebrate your sons memory will help I know that my funny ways do. I now take my 3 yr old son with me to the cemetry every year and he helps to blow bubbles to his big brother. Hope this helps and u will never forget him.xxxx

Sarah - posted on 06/26/2009

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What was very helpful to me was creating a memory book with pictures and mementos. I also go to her grave every birthday and allow myself a good cry. If that's not an option for you, find a place that is meaningful for you and make that your special place to grieve for your child. On her birthday, my husband & I (and our 2 subsequent children) go out to breakfast. You can talk yourself into getting upset about it beforehand, but take a deep breath and remember that it's going to be okay and God will carry you.

Sandra - posted on 06/26/2009

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I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I also loss my son almost three years ago, however, my son was almost 21 at the time of his death. U may feel that my situation is not the same as yours, but believe me it still feels the same. It's only that I have quite a few more memories. I am still mourning though. To celebrate my son's death, we throw a party every year for his birthday. We visit his grave on the day that he passed, with a family dinner afterwards. I would love to do more, but it is difficult.

Michelle - posted on 06/25/2009

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It has been almost 5 yrs sense I lots my only Child Chad, he was 5 days away from his 18th birthday. what I do is go to the Cemitery and put balloons up and let some go...i always invite my family to this pizza place and I always get a cake and have them write HAPPY (the number) BIRTHDAY CHAD. and we bring a pic and set it up...we drink and eat and laugh and cry...but i know chad would want this for him.
I am so very sorry for your loss!! if you ever need to talk just email me at briannshelly@gmail.com if you would like to met my son Chad his website is http://chad-maddox.memory-of.com i have a lot of other things i do also so if ya want any more idea let me know.
Sending lots of love and prayers,
Michelle

Sarah - posted on 06/25/2009

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Our little girl Hollie died on 6th Dec 2007 aged 13months. That first christmas was hard so we decided not to stay at home & went away on our own for Christmas. We knew that Christmas 2008 was going to be difficult, and every other Christmas too unless we did something positive to remember our little girl so now each year on 6th December we're going to put the Christmas tree up. Instead of being sad we can now have happy memories & will always think of her whenever we look at the tree.



My message really is to do something positive. That day is always going to be difficult no matter what but your child will remain in your heart for the rest of your life.



Our son was born almost a year to the day that Hollie died & our christmas tradition will mean that he will always know that he had a big sister x x x x x

Bev - posted on 06/24/2009

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sorry for your loss. it won't be easy at first because you will think he would doing this and he would this old now. my son has been gone 16 years and I still think of him daily. we have pictures up all over the house my kids friends come over and ask who he is and they say that is my baby brother he died when he was 9mos some people think take down the pictures but he is part of the family just not living any longer.

Heather - posted on 06/24/2009

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We have not had a birthday yet as my son was stillborn almost 39 weeks on May 8, 2009. Although we have so many things that help me remember...I wear a heart necklace with 'Blake Evan' on the front and his date of delivery on back. It also has an angel charm with his birthstone. I found it at www.thingsremembered.com. We have several figurines around our house that were given to us. In our bedroom is his picture as I still tell him good morning and night and can talk to him. My favorite figurine was given to us by a couple we met through friends who lost their baby. It is 'In Jesus' Arms' Precious Moments. We also were give a gift card to a nursery so we picked an Apple Tree that blooms white.



I hope to be able to go to his grave for his birthday but because we are stationed 25 hr drive away...I dont know if I will be able to. So most likely we will light a candle next to his picture and urn with remaining ashes (all the ashes didnt fit in his baby urn we buried so got a second and will be buried with me or my husband next to him). The ballon idea is just wonderful because I can do that anywhere.



Thank you for starting this topic and I am so sorry for you loss.

Angie - posted on 06/24/2009

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My family has a family tree painted on the wall in our entry way and I had an Angel wall plaque that we put a banner on with Felicias birthday while everyone else just has a leaf...it has been 21 years this year and although it is not like it was the first five years, I wonder about and miss the woman she would be. Every year I think about where she would be in her life and 21 well we all know what that means so I would be really stressed. I have looked for the good that happened because of her, she was three months and 20 days old when she died. It is amazing how a person so small can make such a HUGE impact. May you all be blessed with the peace and acceptance that your little ones are blessed and surrounded with love.

Bev - posted on 06/23/2009

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every year on my son birthday we bring him cake and we sing happy birthday yo him. on his grave site we put flowers and a stuff animal to hang on to. he was born 6/9/1993 and passed away 3/8/1994) we miss him lots. his name is Kane Micheal Dakota

Bianca - posted on 06/21/2009

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saturday just gone would have been my daughters 8th birthday i honor her day with flowers n small things that remind me of Keera although it is the saddest day imaginable i try to be happy and forget all the bad feelings.even as the yrs go by it never gets any easier no matter how we try to heal ourselves.u can always forgive but u will never forget...(20.6.01-8.7.01)

Jenny - posted on 06/21/2009

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We lost our son in 2001 and it wasn't till 12 months later that his remains were found.I won't go into all that now but we planted a tree that was given to us by a friend. It has a lacy hanging appearance and twice a year it blooms with delicate dark and light pink blossoms. Really appropriate for a 21 year old son brother and father who had a very loving sensitive nature.

Connie - posted on 06/18/2009

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i had a tattoo put on my left leg with a dove carry a ribbon with all my childrens name on it and when it came to katie and stephens name i had tear drops put beside there names

Connie - posted on 06/18/2009

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isent ballons up with message on my twins birthday then each yr i take homemade cupcakes to there grave and ballons just a small way of saying momy will never froget you and will always love you

Jennifer - posted on 06/18/2009

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It has been almost 5 years since lost our baby boy. He was stillborn at 22 weeks. I think the thing that helps me the most is just sharing the story with people. I am always meeting people that have lost babies too and it helps to be able to connect with them. When I talk about him I know I will never forget him and I feel him near. I also visit his grave and I keep pictures up and figurines.

Sara - posted on 06/18/2009

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Our first son was stillborn in February of 2006. I make cupcakes or brownies for his birthday that my now 2 1/2 year old helps me make. We got a gift certificate to a garden center so I purchased a bush and planted it in our yard. I think of James every time it blooms. I had kept the flower petals from his funeral and make Christmas ornaments for my parents and inlaws to hand on their tree so we can include him at Christmas time. My brother and his wife had a miscarriage around the same time we lost James so they got my parents and us a stone that is engraved. We also get flowers at church around Easter and Christmas in memory of James. Then we can take them home to have in our house after they are done with them. I think anything you do to remind you of your child is enough. I still think of him often, but the hurt has lessened. So sorry for your loss.

Hope - posted on 06/15/2009

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Chanda that was so beautiful..thank you so much..i thought of some of the things you are doing ..i ampraying for you too....you stay strong, and may God's peace be with you and daddy..tell him Happy Father's day

Chanda - posted on 06/14/2009

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I just lost my 1st baby on may 23,2009 due to miscarriage.I am devistated but want to never forget my little one.While i did miscarry i was almost 12wks along and had contractions and everything.I saw my baby before i lost it on the sonogram and have the picture from it that i will always cherish.The ways i have chose to remember my child is-we cremated our child and have a box we bought and decorated ourselves and put the ashes in there.One day when the time is right we will sprinkle the ashes in a very special place.But for now they stay with us.Next we when we felt up to it-may 31,2009 a very beautiful sunday we had a balloon cerimony.We wrote messages to our child on 3 ballons(one from mommy,one from daddy,and one from both of us),read some scriptures,said a prayer,said our goodbyes to our sweet child and let the ballons go.Watched as they went straight up to the heavens and cried.Since then i created iron ons that had our childs name and date and the sonogram picture.Then added in loving memory and have put them on baby tshirts and have them on a stuffed bear and puppy and gave some to the grandparents.Now i am working on memory albums.I have made a online powerpoint slide and now i am working on a baby memory keepsake book.

Eventually i want to get a tattoo done in memory.Hope this helps you and others.So sorry for your pain and loss -we are going through it too.

Sonya - posted on 06/11/2009

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I lost my daugheter Sarah at birth on Oct 21 last year. My sister plans on naming a star after Sarah on her birthday this year. You can buy a teddy bear at Toys R Us for about $15 that comes with a code that you can use online to officially name a star and print out a certificate. She plans on finding a star taht is visible in the sky on her birthday. This can also turn into a tradition if we find the star in the sky on her birthday. Also I have a bookmark that someone made for me with a verse and her name and birthday. I keep it in my Bible where I will see it everyday as I read. This helps me to remember her daily. It doesn't have to be a bookmark or anything but I think a constant reminder has helped her become a part of the family on a daily basis, not just on her birthday.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/10/2009

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I go visit my son every year on his birthday and the day he died. He was just over 9 months old and I hate to say this it gets better but the pain will never go away. You will have your good days and bad days but as long as you have someone to talk to you will survive. My heart goes out to you and everyone else in the group.

Tabatha - posted on 06/10/2009

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well it depends i guess i have a angel statue figurine thing in my house for my daughter with her picture and i light a candle for her there on her angelversary and due date and holidays we visit her at her grave i have heard of mothers creating a memeorial in their own back yard weather it be something as simple as some flowers planted to something more elaborate as stones and foutnains , me i got a tattoo for angel there is a heart in the center of theheart is her name angel novelee and her angel day and then around the heart is some people dream of angels and bottom is i held one in my hand. so i think it is what you would like to do, i also have a decal on my van for her and hubby on his truck that has the pink and blueribbon and it says proud daddy of an angel rememberingourangels.com is the site i got them from

Rachael - posted on 06/10/2009

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I had a little boy Sammual on the 29 april 2005 he was born and died 30 minutes later. every year we burn a candle and eat a roast dinner by it (me, my husband and our 3 girls). i craved roasts while pregnant so have one for him every year. we then sing him happy birthday. my mother makes him a teddy bear every year. as she made his suit and a teddy for him for his funeral. And for mothers day the year after my daughters gave me a heart locket with some of his ashes inside. so i now have him close to my heart forever. i hope find a nice way to celebrate you little boys birthday and im very sorry for your loss

Letitia - posted on 06/10/2009

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your more than welcome although i can not say i feel your pain i can understand how much you may be hurting. thinking of you and your little one xxxx

Hope - posted on 06/10/2009

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Ladies thank you so much for this information....the tattoo idea definitely came to mind. Unfortunately I know because I was so sick, I could not make the decision about his remains so my husband decided to donate his body to a research place, but we did find out that they cremated him. I never thought about the balloon that is a great idea...Rebecca..your story made me chuckle a bit...you and I do the same things....as for the other ladies Angela, Crystal, Letitia, sheree, and Tiffany...thank you from the top to the bottom of my heart for sharing with me...i appreciate that so much....my son Greggy lived for 2 1/2 hours and I cherished every moment. Yes, he was born perfectly fine with all his organs, just his lungs were underdeveloped, and there was no technology at the hospital that could save him at 21 1/2 gestational weeks.

I will keep you all posted on how I chose to celebrate Greggson Benjamin Byer

With God's Blessing and my love

May HIS peace follow you all the days of your life

Tiffany - posted on 06/09/2009

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That is so eerie, my little girl Ryenne' Chanel Eubanks was born Sept 17, 2004 and passed that day and she lived for 3 in a hlf hours. She was perfect, everything about her was perfect but her little lungs just wouldn't take any oxygen in. I was destroyed, and didn't know how to go home without my child that I went to the hosp to have, only to come home with a broken heart. It's been almost 5 years and I'm still recovering. I have Ty'Anah Chanel Reid, she was born March of last year, and she was 5 wks early, but she is a healthy and vibrant baby! Thanks to God!

Rebecca - posted on 06/09/2009

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I nearly forgot, but then she jumped up on my lap, we also adopted a kitten a couple of days before Noah's birthday. She was going to be put down on his birthday.

Rebecca - posted on 06/09/2009

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I am so sorry Hope. Our son Noah Jay was stillborn on 1 May 2008. For his birthday this year I made him a cake and we took it up to the cemetry with a helium balloon, which his big sister released, we also lit a candle at home. Next year we will release two balloons, the following year three balloons and so on.



We also changed all the silk flowers on his headstone to new arrangements. We are building a chest to put all the old flowers in along with everything else that it is his.



I really wanted to get a tattoo in memory of him, but that wasn't able to happen on the day, so I will be doing that soon. We also went away for the weekend, so that we could have a little anonymity.



I think the best advice that I could give would be to do as much preparation as you can before the day, and don't expect too much of yourself. I was bitterly disappointed about not being able to get the tattoo and then decided that I was going to do his birthday in a Noah's Ark theme. I drew up a ridiculously complicated cake plan, tried desperately to find a Noah's Ark balloon and nearly sent myself insane with all the pressure I was putting on myself. Despite my plans, everything seemed to come back to butterflies, so I finally decided a week before (much to my husband's relief) that we would have a butterfly theme this year. We added butterflies to his arrangements, got a blue butterfly helium balloon and added butterfly beads to the tail, used butterfly candles and I made a butterfly cake.



Doing something special definitely helped me to cope and the fact that you are thinking about it now means it won't sneak up on you too much and you've got plenty of time to decide what feels right for you.

Tiffany - posted on 06/09/2009

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My 1st child passed the same day she was born too, and we took pics and had a memorial service for her. But I go to her grave every birthday and take flowers, and sing happy birthday. It does help a bit because people seem to forget that she existed.

Sheree - posted on 06/09/2009

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I had a little boy named TaJiri DeShawn Brown 2 die. I had him at 6 months> He weighed 2pounds 10 ounces. He lived for about 4hrs and then he died. That hurt me so bad. He was born Jan.11th 2003 and died Jan. 11th 2003. I still go to tha grave site to visit. He was fully devolped his lungs was not strong enough. Then i had my little angel LaNaya Shardae Brown 2 be born. Aug.1st 2004. she was born early 2 but she survived she will b 5yrs soon WHAT A BLESSING!!!!

Letitia - posted on 06/09/2009

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Hiya my little girl was stillborn on the 1st of April 2008 this year for her first birthday we (my husband, me and my baby boy ) sent up a heliam balloon with a message attached. We chose to do this so other members of the family could also do it no matter where they were and also its something our baby boy can carry on as he gets older hope this helps xx

CRYSTAL - posted on 06/09/2009

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I LOST MY SON IN MARCH OF 1997,AND HE WAS A MONTH AND 14 DAYZ,HE WAS MY FIRST AT THE AGE OF 21. IT HURT ME SO BAD,I THOUGHT I WAS GOING 2 LOSE IT,BUT I FOUND GOD,AND I CELEBRATE HIS LIFE THROUGH HIM,I ALSO GO 2 HIS GRAVE EVERY YEAR 2 HIS DEATH AND PLACE FLOWERS ON HIS GRAVE AND SIT AND TALK 2 HIM,I FILL LIKE IT FILLS IN THAT EMPTY SPACE IN MY HEART. I MISSES HIM SO MUCH,AND NOW THAT I HAVE A 2YR.OLD AT THE AGE OF 32,I FEEL BLESSED,SHE WAS SENT 2 ME 2 HELP ME FILL IN THAT EMPTY PLACE,BUT NOT2 REPLACE HIM U KNOW.IT TOOK ALOT 2 GET PREPARED 4 THIS,I'M SO PROTECTIVE OVER HER AND THAT DO SCARE ME,I JUST PRAY ABOUT HER LIFE AND 4 HER 2 BE HEALTHY...GOD IS GOOD AND HE WILL MAKE U STRONGER AND BLESS U,KEEP UR HEAD UP 2 HIM,AND GOD BLESS U.. :)

Angela - posted on 06/08/2009

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I donated the money that I would have spent on his birthday to st. judes childrens hospital in memory of my Nathan on what would have been his birthday. I also lit a candle,prayed, and wrote a letter to him.

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