How do you cope with your children moving away?

Cindy - posted on 05/29/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter's husband is a marine and she is moving out of state. How do you hold it together while you watch her and your grandson board a plane? I don't want to lose it in front of her. I have lost a child to SIDS and this just feels like another loss.

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Marian - posted on 12/28/2012

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my daughter her husband and my only grandsons age 6 and 4 are emigrating to australia how do i cope when they go

Lisa - posted on 06/01/2009

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Hi Cindy,

I don't know how you would cope with your daughter moving away, but thought I would answer anyway from the daughter whos moved away's perspective.

I moved to Australia from the UK in November 2008, my mum was my best friend, & my son was her only grandchild, so I have been consumed with guilt since then. My mum hasn't helped the situation either, & had pretty much told me I've ruined her life.

It has been just as hard for me moving to a new country, where I don't know anybody, & my own mum won't support me either.

So I would just say, its ok to cry & be upset in front of your daughter, but please don't put any pressure of any sort on her, or make her feel guilty in anyway. She is probably like me, doing what she feels is best for her family, but it will be breaking her heart too. I miss my mum everyday, its so hard.

& you never know, she may come back one day!!

Good luck with it all

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Sheri - posted on 03/11/2014

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I also lost my first daughter to SIDS and now my 2nd and only daughter just recently got engaged and informed me she is moving about 900 miles away and only gave me about 3 weeks notice. Losing her is the absolute hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Keeping it together is simply not an option... I feel like I am losing a part of my soul...

Vannessa - posted on 02/23/2014

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My children are 7 and 10. They currently live with their father. He is getting a job in Florida. Which we currently live in Arkansas. I live just down the street from them so I can see the When I want. But When he gets the job they will leave with him. I need some advice on keeping it together and being strong I really don't know how to tell my two teenagers either. They are 14 and 15. Which will be living with me from a previous relationship. I'm sad I don't know how to handle it.

Melissa - posted on 01/05/2014

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focus every moment you can on a positive thought, its ok to cry & feel all the emotions that we do as mommys, pray for your sons & for all that may come in contact with them. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.

Cassie - posted on 10/28/2012

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How can I cope better since my sons father moved him to Vegas without my permission, and my son is my whole world?

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2012

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I feel sad reading all these post, but It helps to know I'm not the only one. My oldest son just moved out a week ago, and I don't know how to get over it. He is 18 and has been home schooled most of his life, so we are very close. I also have another son that was born mod/severe deaf, and it has been hard not be able to have the son around that was easy to talk to. I love both of my son's, but I do miss the dynamic of them two together, boys being boys. You miss seeing them sleepy in the morning, their voice, even the little annoying things they use to do. You do regret all the arguements, over small things. How he always left the milk out, or used too many Q-tips,lol. Or how he would sing opera when he was in the restroom. He played the guitar for us, and just loved to talk, now the sounds are all gone. We are a family of 7, and it seems only me and the baby and the cat miss him, or is showing it. So I cry to the cat,lol. I feel bad that I want things to not work out so he has to come back home. I don't think I will ever get use to this. My husband is quiet, my oldest daughter is quiet like him, my middle child is at gymnastics most of the week and she is only 10, and the Baby and my deaf son don't talk much, so I feel lonely in some ways. Cindy, I also lost a baby at five months along, and yes it does feel like a death, or like someone kidnapped him. Please pray for me if you believe in God.

VK - posted on 08/13/2012

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My daughter moved to another state 1 day after she turned 20....she dated a guy for 2 years before that who refused to let her have a relationship with me(and she even lived in my house)...after she broke up with him ...she met her now husband and she moved and got married....and has a step son.....I see her several time in the summer....i am not a winter driver ....so there is like 5 months that I dont see her....My question is....Everytime we leave each other I cry the entire day.....My heart aches like it did the first day she left....when I watched this little girl had become a young woman pack her clothes an pull away from the house....now i regret everytime I didnt play with her...everytime she wanted to go somewhere and I didnt take her because I wasted those moments,,,,(I am crying my eyes out as I am typing this,,,,,,)....I so want her to be happy....But I want to be a part of her life..... made her a promise that day 6 years ago when she left ...she said....Mom promise me you wont be 7 hours away forever.....and I did...it kills me that I dont see her......someone plese tell me what to do

Karen - posted on 05/30/2009

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My daughter moved to a different state on her wedding day. I was happy for her because she seemed so happy, but inside I was crying. She had a baby 10months ago and I dearly wish they were close by so I could really be a grandma to her son. Like anything else us moms have to do, you smile at them, hug them, and when they aren't looking you cry your heart out. Or at least that's what I do.



One good thing is the internet, I keep in touch daily with facebook and she emails me pictures of my grandson every week so I can see how much he is changing. It's a poor substitute, but at least we can stay in each others lives that way. Good luck.

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