How long ago did your child pass away?

Asta Maria - posted on 10/17/2008 ( 3402 moms have responded )

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I thought it might be good to start a conversation on how long ago our children passed away. My son passed away two and a half years ago. He got pneumonia, lung infection.

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Tanishia - posted on 06/07/2013

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My 1st born daughter Ja'Nya Nicole died five months ago. She was the middle child of three. She lived 9years 1month and 24 days. She died of asthma and pnuemonia. She had a really bad attack and went into cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage. She passed after two days of being in the hospital. She died on my mother's birthday. We later found out she had an undetected autoimmune disease called c.v.i.d. Which can make your lungs bad and cause pneumonia and asthma. I wish we would have known she had this because i feel like we could have saved her. My heart hurts so bad. The pain is so deep. She was my best friend and she adored me and I adored her. We donated her organs and saved three peoples lives. I cant really say the pain gets easier I can only say that I have to live for my other two kids. And I know in my heart I will see her again. Until that day I will live as best as I can. To all the greiving mothers try to keep your head up. The worst has already happened.

Ginny - posted on 03/04/2013

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My son passed away on September 8, 2008. He was murdered in Ft Hood Texas while in the line of duty as a 1st lieutenant in the Army. He was 24 years old. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel the loss but i will say time does have a way of healing. as much as I would not want to lose the grief at some level, I know that it keeps him alive in my heart and I also know that he wants me to be happy. He would just hate it if I gave up living in joy because of what happened to him. So I have found that the best healing is to be with the grief knowing it represents the love I hold in heart for him. When i here it's knock on the door, I welcome it with open arms and then it doesn't over stay. The grief is my friend that I determine gets to stay with me for as long as I want. Over time I don't need to be with it as often. Over time it gets less intense. But it will always be there as my friend to occasionally remind me of the love that we had for each other.

Sarah - posted on 10/20/2008

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My son Daniel was born 10 1/2 weeks premature on July 4, 2007. He passed away on 6/6/07. My older son, Thomas, is the only thing (besides the prozac) that has kept me going.

Angela Denise - posted on 02/11/2014

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My daughter had come home to Texas from college in Oklahoma for Easter weekend with my 2 sweet grand babies in April 2012. We had a wonderful weekend, she had to go back that Tuesday the 10th to pick up her transcripts. She was moving back home. She was ran off the road into a tree about 11 miles from where she was living and bled to death. Thank God the babies are ok. Since then I have been doing everything in my power to get the babies out of Oklahoma DHS. I still can't grasp that she's gone. Everyone keeps telling me to get over it, or you should be past this it's been almost 2 years. What people aren't understanding is I've not had the chance to grasp it. Autumn is almost 4 already in kindergarten, every week she asks a different question like can I go home to you and mommy now? About 3 months ago she came running to me when I got there held up her little arms and said "GiGi you know how you always kiss mine and bubba booboo's? I said yes honey do you have one? She said no but can you kiss mommies booboo's all better so she will wake up?" Everyday I get up and fight for them. It's like I'm a robot just doing my daily duties. I'm afraid to look at the situation, look into the future because I don't know that I could hold it together. How do I cope? How and when do I grieve because I have to be the strong one to hold up and care for everyone else? I still wake up almost every night around the time she died, I'm afraid the loss and pain is going to be to much to handle 1 day. How long can I keep all of my feelings and emotions locked away? Please if anyone out their can help I really need it. God Bless to All.

Julie - posted on 03/18/2013

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Thank you Emmalice for sharing. Beautiful years of remembering all the little actions and exploring . Thanks of the smile.

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Rene - posted on 12/02/2014

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My grandson, Kaydin, died 11 weeks ago today in a car accident. He was 1 month away from his 6th birthday. I think about him and cry for him every day and every night I pray to God to let me know he is okay and ask Kaydin to come and see me in my dreams. I don't laugh or smile anymore, my daughter worries about me (I should be taking care of her). Kaydin was my joy and my life, we played together every weekend when he came over. His last weekend with me we had taken the training wheels off of his bike and practice, I told him that "next weekend you will have it" but we never got that next weekend. I will always remember his big beautiful smile and his laugh, it was so sweet. Kaydin had the biggest brown eyes that could melt your heart. I have accepted that this is my new "normal"....daily tears, some days the pain in my heart is so bad I yell out, other days it is a dull pain that is just constant. I love you Kaydin and will never forget you

Stacy - posted on 11/10/2014

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It will be a year on the 15th since my 19 yr old son passed away and it seems to get harder to deal with rather than easier. It never gets easier. Some days can be ok, and i can wear a "mask" but i never have a good day.

Lopez-Muro - posted on 06/27/2014

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My baby passed 4 mths ago we still miss him & think of him.Wish this was not real it's like a night mare you can't wake up from.I was 7 mths pregnant stiibirth.

Georgina - posted on 06/03/2014

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Please do not listen to anyone that says you should be over it grieve how you want to if it takes years then so be it. But honey you will learn to cope with the loss because your grannies need you for a long time to come. xxoo Georgie

Mary - posted on 02/18/2014

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my baby boy passed away 3 weeks ago i put him down for a sleep went to work early that morning was told to come home when i did my baby boy was laid out on my bed they said it was cot death or SIDS, its not natural for us to out live our children, my poor baby boy, they say that with SIDS there is no pain i truly hope this is true. TIME DOESNT HEAL INSTEAD WE GET A TINY BIT STRONGER EVERY DAY. i will light a candle and say a prayer today for all our little angels. (that includes parents who lost their teenagers and adult angels).

Angela Denise - posted on 02/11/2014

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I wish I could tell you it gets easier. I lost my daughter on 4/10/2012 she was 22 yrs old, fixing to graduate from law school. She had a heart big as Texas, a smile that could make the grinch feel happiness. I miss her more everyday. The saying is pain lessons with time I don't think so. The thing I tell my self is this: GRIEF I FIND NEVER ENDS.. BUT IT CHANGES. IT IS A PASSAGE, NOT A PLACE TO STAY. GRIEF IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS NOR IS IT LACK OF FAITH. GRIEF IS THE PRICE OF LOVE...
May God help you find some peace. Always remember they are still with us always because there at home in our hearts,

Angela Denise - posted on 02/11/2014

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I know how you feel. I lost my only daughter 22 months ago and even tho I knew it wasn't a accident hearing it after all this time brought back all the memories of the moment I got that phone call. I don't have the right words or advice for you or myself, all we can do is rejoice for the time we had them, know that there In a better place but more importantly know that there with us at all times all we have to do is close our eyes and think of a moment in time we had with them and you'll here there laughter, or something they said all the time it will bring you comfort. My prayers will have you in them daily, I share your pain and I know God will ease our heartache. Everyday at around 3:17 I can hear my Brandi saying hey momma I'm home at first I just thought I remember that from when she came in from school but I realized the other day that that's also the time of her death. Our girls are home, you see there not only at home with God but they are at Home In Our Hearts!

Grief never ends... But it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is NOT a sign of weakness, NOR is it lack of Faith. Grief is the price of Love!!

Lilliam - posted on 02/03/2014

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My baby boy passed away june 14 2011 and my princess august 29 2012 l miss you so much

Jennylee - posted on 02/02/2014

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My only girl passed two months ago autopsy results tommorow and has me going crazy because even though we are going to find the reason its never gonna bring her back and it brings all these memories back to day one I miss you so much lil princess

Mandy - posted on 01/31/2014

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My beautiful boy Richard, went away to work age 26, he'd started a new job was there in Germany for one week, but he never returned. He got KILLED at work in a job he was not qualified to do, and the company were aware.

I feel angry, lost and useless. I wonder everyday if he felt any pain.

Rebecca - posted on 01/30/2014

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I lost my son jason almost 8 months ago...he went to sleep and never woke up..they tell me he had an enlarged heart.we never knew he was sick..he didnt know...doctor said he had a heart attack in his sleep...he was 27...l miss him so much...seems like yesterday he was just here at home..he called me everyday..always came by the house...he would sit at the bottom of the stairs...and we talked about his day....his plans and dreams..he had a smile that melt my heart...if you met him you had a friend for life...always putting everyone ahead of himself...l cry all the time seems its getting harder for me...sometimes l still cant believe he is gone..l just want my son back...l miss him everyday...now all l have are memories and his resting place where l visit often...rip jason b..l love you

MOIRA - posted on 01/23/2014

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after five year my child last hours of his death was just playing in my mind last night.

Tears were flowing off his face and as I wiped away his tears and kept asking him to take god's hand and walk with him me and pa will be fine. I missing him so much.

Charmaine - posted on 01/22/2014

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I was young 18, just found out I am pregnant while Christmas break. I was really happy to have a little family. It's my first baby girl, my boyfriend and I named her Liliana Mailene Aranas-Marin. Then she passed away on Mother's Day. I was 25 weeks, my baby is premature. 5/11/13-5/12/13. Her heart and lung are not delevoped yet.

Judy - posted on 01/21/2014

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“Are they Twins?"
I am often asked.
Their true identity is cleverly masked.
"No, they are not!" "I adamantly say.
This question is asked of me every day!
"I now only have 2 of my original 3".
An explanation was now called for thee.

"2 surviving triplets ", is my standard reply,
And it's always met with a terrible sigh.
But a "Twin Mom" is all that you see,
But, that's NOT what I am. No, that is NOT me!

Can't they hear what I've just said?
Do they really need to be spoon fed?

They are NOT twins as you may think,
They are TRIPLETS......there was one more
to the link!

Forgotten he is, cause he is not here,
But, not for us we feel him close, we feel him near.
I know to some, it may seem like only two
they see.

But PLEASE don't forget our little angel Jorgie

Judy - posted on 01/20/2014

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My son Jorge passed away 2 and half years ago. It will be three years on May 15th. I miss him so very much but am trying to teach our Surviving Triplets myself that death is a part of life and we need to remember and include him in our family because even though he is not with us physically with us he is still apart of our family. I know the best way to honor him is to be the best mom I can to his sister and brother who are still with me. But still it hard to do what I know I should when my heart can be very very sad at times. He was with us 17 days and the strongest of our three we didn't see it coming. He got sick on the 13th and was gone by the 15th.

Angels - posted on 01/17/2014

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My first child Angel was a SIDS kids taken from me during delivery at full-term 9days ago... Rest in peace little princess angel daddy loves you always xoxo

Judy - posted on 01/17/2014

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My Son Jorge die after 17 days he was my strongest of my triplets. My heart can never be the same those I know I am blessed that my daughter and son are still with me. My mind and heart miss my Jorge so so very much.

Judith - posted on 09/05/2013

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My son passed away September 6, 2010 we went camping the Kern River & he drowned in the river I still can get over it his death.

ELLORA - posted on 09/03/2013

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I lost my only child..my 21 year old son Yash on 15th Dec 2011 to a sudden cardiac arrest and my life is forever changed.

Staci - posted on 08/29/2013

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November 13 will mark 12 years since my son, Connor, was stillborn. I miss him terribly and think of him everyday. I was 28 weeks along when I went into preterm labor. They said I went into labor because he had died. They have decided that it was my lupus that caused it, although I wasn't diagnosed until 8 months later when I was pregnant for my second son, Holden. Even though it's been almost 12 years, the pain hasn't gone away, I've just learned how to function in spite of it.

Karla - posted on 07/26/2013

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my daughter passed away may 28,2013 she was 16 years old. she was hit by a metro train. I cant believe she is gone. I miss her so much.

Angelina - posted on 06/15/2013

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I lost my 22 month baby girl, my love my hear my Eden she passed away suddently from falied lung and I don't know how to move on

Rachel - posted on 06/06/2013

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I lost my beautiful little girl nicky on 18 January this year, she would of been my 4th. We found out she had died in my tummy at my 20 week scan. She had gone afew days before. She was tiny but perfect. Today is the day she was due to arrive. She was the 3 rd baby I have lost in the last year the others where early. I feel blessed as I do have 3 beautiful children but will never forget my beautiful girl who is now with the angels

Lynell - posted on 05/31/2013

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My daughter died in july 29 2004 on my dad's birthday....although I love this sight to remind me that I am not alone ...it still hurts to this day...I make it through by telling my self as bad as things have been there is always someone going through worst and I should count my blessing. She was my only girl out of two boys. JANETTE FAYE ALLISON....you will be missed.

Maria - posted on 05/30/2013

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I lost my daughter Linda a year ago it still feels like I just lost her. I feel for everyone here others tell us to move on you have other children but they never lost a child and they can't feel our pain. The nights are sleepless and the mornings are reality. Just reading and writing here makes me feel like you are my family because all of us are missing a link of our family and no one understand unless the link is broken things are never the same. Whether a year to or more we will always miss our angels

Shelley - posted on 05/27/2013

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My son Andrew died 11 months ago from a rare form of viral encephalitis. He got sick on the Friday and by Sunday morning was brain dead. He was 15 years and 8 months old. I still can't believe it. I miss him terribly. My heart is broken.

Joanna - posted on 03/26/2013

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May 10th will be 4 years since my son passed. He passed on Mother's Day. He was my middle child and I still see him when I sleep both the good and the bad memories of his short life. I love and miss you Lazerus S. Caraway born February 5,2009 and passed May 10,2009!

Teresa - posted on 03/26/2013

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i lost my son at 13 years old. He was my third child and only son and his Father's only child and namesake. To this day thinking of him hurts my heart. Sometimes even breathing is hard. Some days it feels like that very moment and other days its a more dull ache. Memories of him don't hurt so bad anymore, telling stories about him no longer feel like golf balls in my throat. the hardest thing about losing him was that horrible feeling that he was embarking on a scary journey that required Mom to hold his hand through. Many marriages fail with the loss of a child and without my husband I don't think I would have ever been able to handle the journey of living without him. And it's still a journey. There are days we see a child talking and we look at each other either with a grin or with tears. Our daughters and grandchildren give us joy. I think the strangest thing about losing him is the reaction we have to our own mortality. How can we fear something our son did single handed at such a young age? And we don't. We watch our children and grandchildren like hawks though. Thanks for a chance to chat.
He's been gone 4 years now.

Debora - posted on 03/18/2013

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My son passed in May of 2003. It was a car accident and all 3 kids in the car died. The driver and the boy in the backseat were cousins so, 3 familys were completely devestated.
I am better these days as I know that he has crossed over and all is well. I miss him terribly and always will every day...
Somehow it does get easier. I have learned that when we loose someone that we love that much there is a giant hole in our heart where the love lives and we don't know what to do with that love. There is nowhere to put it. So, naturally we grieve and cry and scream until the anger and hurt becomes so unbearable that in my case I shut down for years. I drank and drugged and acted out as self destructive as possible. I know now I really wanted to go with him but, it was not my time so we live on and on not knowing how to fill that void. It is a physical ache, a pain so deep and I know that you know what I mean.
It is and always will be the very worst day of my life.
Today I am greatful for the 17 years that I had with my beautiful Jamie. He taught me so much and made me a better person in a thousand ways. Selfishley I wish he was still here with me so desprately but, I have to believe that God knows what he's doing or I would loose my mind. I came close and I know that Jamie would not want me to. In memory of him I have now chosen a much more possitive path but, let there be no confusion. The loss of a child is the worst loss any of us will ever experience...

God Bless You and Keep You,
Debbi Ann

Emmalice - posted on 03/15/2013

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My son passed away on my birthday April 22,2006. It just also happens to be earth day. This is significant because my son was such a nature lover. We were stationed down south and we purposely moved into a ranch home with acres upon acres for him to explore. No cookie cutter house and neighborhood for us. And explore he did. Sam became friends with all the wildlife on the ranch including the scorpions, lizards and armadillos living under the big oak tree. We were on our usual nightly walk at the marina (we spent all our weekends there) and he suddenly fell ill. It was a heart attack and he was less than 3 months shy of his 6th birthday. I remember seeing the EMTs doing chest compressions on him on the way to the hospital. What a horrible image to have. Once at the hospital we were escorted to a private room where the doctor told us the news. We were able to stay with our son for several hours after until the coroner came. During that time the social worker presented me with a beautiful pendent in the shape of an oak tree with a heart in the middle. Nothing could be more appropriate and that was the start of my healing. I use that word loosely because one is never really healed. We then went on to have a memorial service that week at the base where my husband worked. Both my husband and I stood in front of a see of people, most of whom I didn't know, and spoke about our son. We even got a nice round of laughter from the crowd with a story I told. That was beautiful! They planted a tree in his honor (red maple for our homeland of Canada). We then took him home to the north to be with my mom who passed away just 5 months prior. At his funeral we also both spoke and again that same story brought some well needed laughter to the ones we love. When we got back to our southern home a week later the school set up a memory service as well. We again spoke to the crowd. They also had a sidewalk brick made in his honor that was placed on the sidewalk in the same spot Sam used to sit waiting for me to pick him up. A year later, the money that was given to the school in lieu of flowers and gifts for his funeral was used to build a new playground with a plaque that bares his name. A month after he passed we decided to try for another child. This time a girl because Sam always wanted a baby sister. Our gift to him. All these things and all the stories I still tell, now with a smile instead of tears, helps me to 'heal'. I thank people who allow me to do so and I tell them these are little kisses on my heart to help with the wound. Just like mommies kisses always help the wounds of childhood, these kisses help mommy and her large wound on her heart.
I only wish love for those hurting and hope this story brings a little happiness and kisses to your wounded heart.
Emma xoxo

Andrea - posted on 03/13/2013

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I had a eptopic in 06 and every year around fathers day has been hard for me. I will never get over loosing that one cause I wanted to see what that little angel was going to be like.

Julie - posted on 03/08/2013

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Ann Marie ,

Maybe little harsh. Your right everyone moves at a different rate of speed over lost of babies, children , teens, young adults etc. However when it goes into weeks and months it's not healthy to you nor the living children you care for. So in your face life goes on .

Peace Out.

Julie - posted on 03/08/2013

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babys are special, even the so called grown ones that can't see through the families denial, and anger. Life is too short and I do love my sons however my prayers from me and my friends continue that one day they will come back and look at me as their mother. I miss my sons.

Sweet Jesus be with all Mothers. Tomorrow I will take roses and sprinkle the ground with my love. This helps me to deal with the living and the babys asleep in Jesus blessed sleep

Elizabeth - posted on 03/07/2013

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Deb I feel your pain, It takes time but sooner or later you will get better. I was the same way after I lost my son. When he pased I was 7 months pregnant and after i had my baby, I didnt want to have anything to do with her cause i was still depressed from losing my son. I would hear her cry, I would have to be woke up cause she was screaming as loud as she could right next to me and I wouldnt hear her. It took any years but I am doing alot better now. Just keep with it, it does get better.

Ann Marie - posted on 03/07/2013

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Julie i
I dont think you have the right to say that to Deb
Everyone deals with Grief in a different way
it takes time. Your not her.

Julie - posted on 03/07/2013

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I have those moments too, of having the lost feel like just yesterday, it's all about being a mom. Peace to you.

Julie - posted on 03/07/2013

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My two sons have healed me too . The lost of my earlier son and daughter will always be near to my heart. Enjoy what you have.

Julie - posted on 03/07/2013

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deb stop feeling sorry for yourself and get cleaned up and get out to find work and back in the social world of work this is the best thing for you to get back where working class is to pull life back in you to see that your children need the whole part of their mother. You have to put on your big girl pants and wake up . can not undo what is done Time to move on. You can do it. I did.

Taffany - posted on 03/06/2013

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My daughter passed away on the 4th of April 1999 so this year will make 14 years that she has been gone. She suffocated after having a seizure and flipping over she had CP so I no she is not suffering any more she was 5 months and 17 days when she passed away. I miss her every day and some days it seems like it just happened yesterday.

Tammy - posted on 03/05/2013

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I lost my son 4 years ago the 11th of march he had a car wreck I lost him 9 days before my birthday I don't celabrate any more is stell semems to me I just lost him yeasterday it hurt so bad !!!!!!!!!

Elise - posted on 03/05/2013

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My firstborn son passed away from complications of what amounts to meconium aspiration syndrome, after surviving 17 hours after his full-term birth. He would be 14 this year. He died in my arms.

Belinda - posted on 03/05/2013

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My daughter passed away 5 yrs. ago this past December. She was diagnosed with Pontine Glioma, a cancerous inoperable brain tumor in January of 2007. It doesn't get any easier, my husband, our two boys and myself, just learn to live with it everday and take life one day at a time.

Sally - posted on 03/05/2013

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Our 2nd born of 4 daughters died on Jan. 16, 2002. Hers was an unexpected death. She had multiple anurisyms in her head. We were one of the fortunate families, she lived to get to the hospital, had serious test to find where the bleeding was coming from. Surgery later the same day. We learned she was born this way, amazing how the specialists can tell these things, every single one of her blood vessels was either bleeding or about to blow so they were all tied off. The basiler was also weak but had to leave this one alone as she had to have some blood to the brain. At first her team of doctors's was hopeful of a recovery. We learned eventually new vessels would grow out from the tied off ones and bring more blood flow to her brain. She was 361/2 yrs. old. The mother of a 16 yr. old daughter. But after a couple of days she started bleeding out again, I could see her going down hill, in my heart I knew we were going to loose her. I lived in the ICU waiting room at Barnes-Jewish for those 10 days w/her daddy, sisters, aunts & uncle coming to visit her and to be w/me. We prayed constantly for God's healing knowing full well He would answer our prayers in His way. Thus we knew we may not like the way He was going to choose to heal our wonderful daughter. He took her home shortly after midnight on the 16th. Naturally we were devastated but being of a strong faith we accepted God' way of healing her. Accepting and trying to live on in this human world are two different things. Worst experience in our lives, nothing can happen to us now to even come close to how badly this hurt unless, God forbid, we'd loose another of our precious daughters. It took each of us a different time frame to heal. I know full well if I did not have my strong faith I could not have made it through the days, weeks, months following Betty's death for I know full well God never left us as He helped us all recover. We have a wonderful church family and our extended family is the greatest so we were blessed with much support, and love as we slowly made our way back to living again, not just going through the motions. Today, we are all very happy people but there will always be that hurt in our hearts for the loss of this child. Honestly? I do not know how anyone can actually fully recover if they do not have a relationship with God. Now I feel it is my duty to pay it foreword, seek out parents who are loosing a child whether or not I even know them. I have sent out so many cards w/a short note letting these broken hearted parents know that I care and can completely relate to their pain. Also, even now each card I send out helps me to heal that much more. My husband, who loves our g'daughter...Betty's daughter...still has a hard time looking at our g'daughter as she looks so very much like her Mom, plus she acts like her Mom, has her Mom's sense of humor. She is grown now, married, has given us to super greats. And she is an excellent mother. I know I said way more after answering your question, sorry, it is just in me to share w/others who are in this dreaded "club" about picking up the pieces of our lives and creating a new happy life. My motivation was I knew I did not want to feel so bad for the rest of my life, and being a Mom and wife I knew I had to recover fully for the sake of our other daughters, my husband, and our g'children.

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