how long should you wait after losing a child?

Tiffany - posted on 06/16/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i lost my daughter to sids on june 6th 2012 i know its only been a 10 days and im still grieving but i was wondering how long did you wait until you tried to conceive again. i've been having the feeling i want to try again but i guess thats just apart of losing a child kyra was 2 months and 20 days old the wound is still fresh but i can't shake this feeling of wanting to try again. But i keep pushing it away because at the same time its way too soon i don't know im having mixed feelings so tell me how long after your child passed, miscarried, or still born did you ttc?

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Denikka - posted on 06/22/2012

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Talk to your doctor and see when it's physically safe for you to become pregnant again. After that, try when you're ready to have another. Just make sure you're in the right mind set. You should want to have a child, not have a child to replace the one you lost. There's a fine line there.

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Isabel - posted on 07/26/2012

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Hi Tiffany,

I too lost my son on June 6th 2012. He was born at 36 weeks and died 5 hours after birth from a heart defect. I would say in my opinion that it is still too early to think about trying to conceive another baby. I know the pain and anguish you are going through but it is only fair to your daughter and your future children that you heal your mind and heart before you try again. Your body may be ready for you to try and conceive again, but your mind and heart are definitely not ready yet.

I too want to fill the void in my life, but will only do so when I can fully realise that my next baby will never be able to replace or fill that void in my life and heart.

Sending you all my love, prayers and strength. Remember, take it one breath at a time, one foot in front of the other and one day at a time...

Hannah - posted on 07/16/2012

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Hi Tiffany.

You should ask your doctor as everyone is different. I lost my daughter on April 28th when she was born at 27 weeks and only survived for less than an hour. I was told by my doctor on June 26th, that as my periods had restarted and were regular, my body was ready and we could try again whenever we felt emotionally ready. I was ready but my husband was not. The hard fact is that you should wait until you think you can face it if a similar thing happened again.

My eldest daughter was born at 33 weeks and is now a healthy 6 year old. But her birth scared me so much it was several years before I could contemplate having another child. I then had three miscarriages and it was so difficult each time to bring together the strength to think about trying again but I did, generally waiting at least 2-3 months after each before trying. Strangely, this time round, after successfully carrying a healthy baby to 27 weeks, even though she died from complications during the birth, I feel I can face going through it again much sooner.

It has taken me a little while to persuade my husband as he has to have the strength to deal with it as well. He had no problems with the miscarriages as they were not children to him. But actually holding his daughter in his arms after she had passed away made a big difference.

The doctors now know my history and that I am likely to have another premie. They have put together a pregnancy plan to ensure that the best care is taken and I know that I will have a caesarian to ensure that the complications do not happen again.

I will always miss my precious daughter and no subsequent child will replace her.

Hannah

Shana - posted on 07/03/2012

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i lost my son march 7, 2012 i was 28 weeks and i had complications and he passed inside me i was told to wait a year but u could try as soon as your ready

Bogi - posted on 06/22/2012

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Dear Tiffany,
I lost my baby boy in February 11th. He was 4 months old. We tried again at the beginning of March. I am not pregnant yet, and it is very very difficult.
Bogi

Miriam - posted on 06/21/2012

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Hi Tiffany, I lost my baby boy last may 27th, we was born 17 days before. He was healthy, but I had serious delivery complications, emergency c section, and everything damaged his organs. I want to try again, he was my first child, my doctor says I should wait minimun 6 months, even if you had c section. I will try on november, december... let´s see how many months it will take, I´m 33, I think I´m still young to do it without problems...I want to have the whole experience of being a mom... I miss my baby so much, now I should be with him, but I´m alone...

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