How to do overcome the death of your first born?
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Charity - posted on 10/12/2011
do not lose hope. I was 35 when I lost Austin. I of course was treated as high risk for Wyatt and he was 9.14 when born 4 1/2 months ago and I am now 38. You just have to keep your stress level down, ask a million questions if needed, your dr if a good one will not mind and will patiently answer them all. My dr. brought me in 2 times a week for BPP's on Wyatt. It kept my stress level down and she was always aware of where he was on his development.
Karen - posted on 12/05/2008
She is right, you never "overcome" the loss of a child. You just find the best way for you to keep moving forward. I lost my son 2 yrs ago. He was 17 months. I still have bad days around his birthday and the day he died. I did realize that having his pictures up around the house and talking about him to anyone that would listen really helps me, especially during my roughest days.
The best way for you to get through each day is to figure out what makes you feel the best. Even if you shed a few tears. Eventually you will be able to get through most days without feeling the sharp pains of heart ache.
Another thing you could do is find a support group in your area. Compassionate Friends is a good group for the loss of your children. It is for parents, grandparents and siblings of children lost. If you can't find a support group, ask your friends and family for help.
Good luck and God bless you in your time of need.
Charity - posted on 10/12/2011
you will never overcome it, all you do is learn to live with it. I lost my first born Austin 3 years ago and even though I now have a healthy 4 1/2 month old, I have days where I cry all day for Austin.
My attention is refocused now with Wyatt. I had three long years of nothing taking up my time when we lost Austin and some days I did not want to get out of bed. But I had a loving husband and the hope of another child that kept me going.
Believe me there are still days I don't want to get out of bed because his loss never diminishes, it never gets easier, and Wyatt has not taken his place. there is still and always be a huge hole in my life and heart. You just live day by day. There are many of here for support if needed.
Tekeya - posted on 10/11/2011
I am having a hard time dealing with the lost of my 1st and only child. I lost her september 28th of this year and dont really know how to handle it. Im scared that by me being 27 and very high risk I may never get the chance to experience mother hood. The death of Arielle really hurt me to the point I cant function what should I do?
Paula - posted on 12/06/2008
Dear Karen- I agree with you...its is the sharp pains of heartache.
Veronica- I am new at this grieving..I lost my little girl three weeks ago tomorrow. she was not my first born but my third.
I am still trying to understand why, and I am not coping well most days. I don't think you can overcome....I agree with them. maybe in a few years I will be more calmer about this all....
so I don't have much to offer you in support Veronica.....I wish I had strong words to tell you. I don't....I am barely functioning....if it were not because of my children I have now...I would not have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. they keep me going.....they keep me alive.
the only thing I would say...talk to people...its helps me.
Mkenzie - posted on 12/05/2008
I don't think that there is a set way to "overcome" the death of any child, first born or otherwise. I don't even think there is a way to overcome the loss, you just have to find a way to work through it. To live through it. It isn't easy. I lost my firstborn 8 years ago this month. I lost my third child 2 1/2 years ago... Some days are better than others, but some are worse than any others have been before.
I find my strength and determination to keep going solely in Jesus Christ and His Father. They and my daughter are what give me a reason to keep on living, to not give up, to fight the fears and grief with everything that I can. It's tiring, having this grief, but I find rest in my Savior.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms