All Communities > Motherhood after the death of a child: pregnancy, infant > I have had two still births in a row....advice for HOPE...

I have had two still births in a row....advice for HOPE please!!

Tomai - posted on 07/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, my name is Mai and I just wanted to share my story about my still births in hopes that someone who has been through the same situation as me has had a succesful pregnancy. My first baby came at 23 weeks due to a placental abruption, this was possibly due to a blood clot but doctors still couldn't confirm this, he was alive up until birth 10/08/2011. My second pregnancy was with twin boys, my cervix opened on 22 week of my pregnancy, the twins were born alive but passed 10 minutes after birth they were born 25/06/2012. I am absolutely devastated and whats worst is they think i cervix cerclage might work, but they cant promise me 100% that I wont go in to pre-term labor next time, or even why i went into pre-term labor in the first place, because i lost in both these pregnancys due to different reasons. Is there any hope for me??? Im willing to try again, but the thought of having to bury another one of my children im not sure i can go through with it again?? Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

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Natalie - posted on 08/05/2012

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Hi there Tomai, I cant say I have been through your devastation, but can symathise with you in a way. I lost my boy on the 20th of June, I was two weeks overdue and he was born not breathing and died after 7 days.
I too want to try again for another baby (deperately), as you probably feel the same, like theres a hole and you feel empty.
If you do go onto have another child, push the hospital for complete care. Did you have a consultant with your second pregnancy? But also my counsellor told me something that stuck in my mind, she said "If you have another child, I cant tell you for sure weather that baby will be fine or not, but one thing I can say is that its a new pregnancy, a new sperm and new placenta, so no1 can tell you what will happen only time!"
With myself I had no problems with my pregnancy until the very end, but what I would suggest to you is, make sure you can get the medical support in place 1st before you try again, you want the health poffessionals to tell you what they are going to do for you to prevent anaything like that happening again. In the end Im petrified of concieving again, in fear of another baby dying, but its a risk I have to take. I have a six year old daughter too, her birth way fine and I never thought I would have any problems with a second child and I was wrong, it just prooves, we dont know what the furture holds.
I hope you can have the strength to try again, but do make sure you get some medical help for yourself 1st to ensure the same problems dont occur again.

Heba - posted on 07/13/2012

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hi mai how are you, im so sorry for your loss I uisnderstand your feeling because I feel the same sometimes but I tell myself that having ababy worth you to try very hardly just try to make all needed analysis and evey thing that would garantee a safe pregnancy just try to keep positive and optemistic and every thing will be okay next time INSHALLAH :-))))

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