Danielle - posted on 04/24/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )
My little boy Fletcher was born 13 weeks early on the 9th oct 2009. Fletcher was here for 4 days and those 4 days i sat hoping and praying that he would fight and be ok, unfortunately it came to the time i dreaded and i got given the biggest decision to make in my whole life that was it was time to say goodbye to fletcher and let him become an angel. I sat and cuddled my son for 3 hours and 15mins whilst he made the journey to becoming an angel, it was heartbreaking i felt like part of me went with him. I then bathed and dressed fletcher and took loads of pictures, feet and hand prints and some of his hair for my memories. i wrapped him up all snuggley and laid him in his moses basket.
Leaving the hospital without my son was heart wrenching and still to do this day i dont no how i managed to survive it, but i did. My little angel will always be around me, and without a doubt love me as much as i love him. I remember sitting and telling fletcher that every mummy loves there children, but no mummy loves theres children as much as i love him and that all i would ever do throughout his life is love him and be there for him.
6 months has now passed and does it get easier???? No is the answer, but my life i have to keep going on with, as fletcher was part of me and i no what i would want if i went first and that would be for my kids to not sit around feeling upset, but to sit and have a laugh and a joke and remember me as there bonkers mum who loved to laugh and loved them. Nothing in my life will ever replace fletcher but instead of bringing fletcher home with me i gained an angel and no one can hurt my angel or take him away from me. There is no right or wrong way to deal with loss everybody is different xxxxxxxxx