Joaris - posted on 12/20/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )
A month ago i was 31 weeks pregnant, went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor didnt find the heartbeat on my baby. That was the saddest day of my life. We were expecting my angel with so much love. My first baby. I can't explain that pain at all. Had our baby and since then I've been so sad every day... He was suppose to be here on January 22, only 9 weeks left. It was very hard when I came home with empty hands. I left my house with my angel in my belly and joy in my soul and came back with an empty heart... I still can look at his pictures, I just think about how perfect he was. Had my phone off for almost a month, didnt talk to my family or friends. I felt like it was everybody's fault. My baby was gone and I knew and still know that people would be asking me for my baby. That's still my biggest fear, how to explain people what happened without hurting myself. Is so hard to remember my little angel moving in my belly... I pray every day and sometimes I ask God why that happened. Why my baby? There's people that use drugs, they never take care of their pregnancies and they still have healthy babies? but I keep telling myself ''God has plans for each of us''!!! Even though Is still painful and is hard to tell myself that he is in a better place I thank God that he gave me the opportunity to have that gift in my life for 8 months. I know he knows he was the best thing that ever happened to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you Baby Adam you will always the love of my life, I wish you were here now my little angel! GOD BLESS YOU!