I was only 8 weeks pregnant but it still broke my heart

Astridia - posted on 07/29/2009

even at 8 weeks u knew u had a baby..part of u! i should have a 5 yr old lil girl..i had a tubal pregnancy in 2004 she would be 5 sept 25 or aprox. i was 4 mths preg when i had the surgery & i will NEVER forget that baby. It hurts so bad to hear stories of kids being hurt & abused to know i would've loved & cared 4 my lil baby....

Bader - posted on 07/29/2009

Hello ladies,I know how you all feel as well .I lost my third baby at 8 wk.And even more devastating I started to bleed at a local supermarket.It was so embarrassing I thought oh my god why here?But i guess it was the time for it to leave the world.And I also have pcos(poly cystic ovarian syndrome) which makes it hard for me to get pregnant so my Dr. put me on metformin and the rest we leave it up to God.I have 2 lovable boys which we love dearly,and I thank God everyday for letting me have them because I can't see myself without them.And may God protect them from any harm.So for all of you my heart goes out to you and the best thing to do is be patient and try not to think about it even though it is hard try to focus on something else.Hope this works and good luck to all.

Lizze - posted on 02/06/2009

i am so sorry for your recent loss. i remember losing my irst miscarriage like it was yesterday (although it would have been nearly 5now) i could say dont feel guilty or that there was somethig you could have done but you will feel guilty (i still feel guilty after 5 years!!) and you will probably thik well if i had done this or that. it takes ime to get over something like this. i lost 2children before i had my daughter (who was a threathened miscarriage and then classed high risk pregnancy) when the time to try again is right and you feel it is right, noone can tell you when this will be, you will justknow xx as for your sons they will get over it in their way and in their own time. if you need to talk hun feel free to add me xx

Phyllis - posted on 02/06/2009

I lost my third child at 12 weeks pregnant just a week ago....I'm having a rough time everytime I look in the mirror because I have to remind myself that I'm not pregnant anymore. I have two beautiful boys already and I love them dearly. We told them that they were going to be big brithers, and they would read stories to my tummy and talk to it. They were so excited. It kills me that their little hearts are broken and I feel responsible for that. (I know I'm not, but it still feels that way) I feel like I failed them somehow. My oldest keeps asking when I'm going to make him another baby sister, but I dont know if I can go through that again. The doctor says it probably wouldn't happen again, but I dont know if I can chance it.

Stephanie - posted on 02/05/2009

I lost my second child to a miscarriage about six months ago. I have a healthy three year old son, and no one in my family has ever miscarried before so i was stunned at seven weeks when i started spotting and was told that my baby had no heart beat. my parents and sis want me to forget, but i won't ever forget my child. we named the baby Christian eif (meaning Belonging to Christ; loved) and i know that on march 14th his due date, i will have a very hard time. i also have several friends who are pregnant or have just had babies and it is so hard to be around them.

Danyell - posted on 02/03/2009

I can relate to all of you also.  I miscarried at 6 wks, 8 wks and again at 20 wks.  My first two I found out I was pregnant very early and I started bleeding, went to the doctors and the heart beat was no longer there.  With my third (my daughter I named Joclynn) I went into labor and didnt know it.  I just felt a stabbing pain that got progressively worse over 3 hrs.  Went to the hospital and they said i was having contractions... because i was not at least 24 wks they would not give medication to stop contractions and i had begun to dialate.  My daughter was born naturally and I was crushed!!!!   I have not been able to conceive since and I am very scared to even try.   I really want to be a mom but I'm scared of the outcome.  Its so hard to get excited only to be let down.  This last time I even waited to tell people after I was 12 wks and just when I started to relax.. it was over.   I am a Christian and beleive that God knows what's best so I pray alot and think that maybe I'm here to be an adoptive parent instead.  I wont give up, I just wont try to make it happen.   If I am able to conceive then I'll take it one day at a time.  Ladies, hang in there.  Its so comforting to know we can support each other!

Sarah - posted on 02/03/2009

hi i can relate to you too, i have had 2 miscarriges one in 1997 at 12wks then i had my little girl in 1999 the pregnancy with her was hard as i bleed 3 times with her and the second miscarrige was in 2003 i was 13wks. then on the 31/12/08 i had an ectopic pregnancy i was 9wks. I had surgery & my right tube removed after that my partner and i went to see my doctor about having counsilling for the loss & she looked at me as though i was mad and she said because it was only a cell there is not much they can do we were deverstated to say the least, i have put in a complaint about this doctor. you don't get the help anymore. i have never forgot the first 2 babies and i still know there due dates and the one i have just lost. i also have P.C.O.S (polycistic overy symdrome) which makes it harder for me to fall. we have been trying for 8yrs to conceive and when we do its taken away with a part of me with it, i don't know how to feel all we know is that we are deverstated, we want to try again in 3mths time but i am so scared of it happening again. has anyone else been through thame same thing. sorry for your losses everyone on this site.

Jessica - posted on 01/28/2009

I just wanted to respond to Lizzie and all of you. I know what you are all going through. I lost my baby at 10 1/2 weeks and was one of the hardes things I have ever went through. It's nice to read about everyone and know that I am not alone. To Lizzie, I totally know what you are saying that you think about the baby you lost and wonder how old and what they would be doing to day or what they would look like, or even if they were a boy or a girl. In my heart of hearts I believe the baby I lost was a girl. But in reality I don't really know. I truelly believe we will always remember the babies we have loss. And to be honest I don't want to ever forget that precious life that I once carried inside of me. My baby will forever be missed. But I look forward to meeting my baby one day in heaven. For a long time that thought is what kept me going through all the pain. Thanks for everyone sharing and I'm always here to talk if anyone needs too.



Jessica

Karen - posted on 01/28/2009

Laura, my heart goes out to you as I have been in your shoes completely. Best wishes for success this time, but I have a piece of advice for you: If you miscarry again, insist that your doctor have the tissue tested and push-push-push-push for them to give you a full workup. Don't take no for an answer. Don't take "oh, it's not considered a problem until you've lost 3 in a row" as an answer. Please feel free to contact me if you need to talk.

Laura - posted on 01/28/2009

I found out that I was pregnant early in January 2006. My husband and I were so happy that we called our parents and sisters right away after taking the test and told our little boy that he was going to be a big brother. Less than 2 weeks later, I started bleeding and went to the ER, where they did an ultrasound and said everything was fine and the baby was going to be due on 9/11/06. Unfortuately, on January 25th, I ended up bleeding very badly and lost the baby, even though it wasn't offically confirmed until my dr appointment on the 30th when he sent me for tests and another ultrasound.



I had a hard time dealing with the loss of the baby and all I could think was that it was some how my fault. I think the hardest thing was actually seeing the baby on the screen and then have it be gone. Unfortunately, my husband was not with me when I saw the picture because he had to take our son home to put him to bed. Sometimes I wish that I had never told anyone about the baby because it seemed like no one could understand what I was going through. All they could tell me was that there was probably something wrong with it and it was for the best. No one in my family has gone through this before, so I guess they didn't know how to deal with me or this.



It has been 2 years since I lost our little "angel" (as my husband calls her--not sure of the sex since I lost it at 7 weeks, but he thinks it was a girl). I still think about her, maybe not as much as when it first happened, but during December I was making cookies for Christmas and my son, who is 4 now, was running around and I just pictured him playing with our little girl, who would have been 15 months then. We are in the process of trying for another child, but it seems like it will never happen. Maybe this month will be different. All I can do now is think positive thoughts and maybe some day I will be blessed with another child.

Lynn - posted on 01/27/2009

I know exactly what you mean, and appreciate your message. I lost five babies in the very early weeks of pregnancy before going through literally everything to get my miracle in 2005. I always felt that somehow other moms would feel I was not entitled to the grief of those who lost babies formed enough to hold or name, but it was torture. I was afraid to use the bathroom because I hated the toilet as the stealer of my dreams.

My daughter will be four in April and the urge to mother has come back full-force. I lost twins a year ago, and I have no hope of getting pregnant again, much less carrying to term sucessfully a second time. The experience nearly killed us both as it was. So please don't feel alone - I know what you mean. Even early losses - especially when they come before a successful birth - shatter our dreams. There is a web site that has been a great help to me:; http://www.october15th.com/ Maybe you can commemorate your loss there as well and have somewhere concrete to remember the baby you lost. In the meantime, celebrate the life of that little girl every single moment! God bless, ~LW

Karen - posted on 01/27/2009

Quoting Lizze:

i lost 2 babies to miscarriage, i was told i couldnt have children at an early age so to fall pregnant was unbelieveable. i went for my scan at 12 weeks to find it had died :( i felt so guilty and it tokok a long time to get over . then 10 months after i found i was pregnant again, i was ecstatic :) but at 7 weeks 2 days i lost it :( when i fell pregnant again 3 months later i didnt let myself believe i was actually pregnant. after a troubled pregnancy i had mylittle girl nearly 3 1/2 years ago. she is my world and if i could never have any more it wouldnt matter asshe is so important to me. although i was only 12 weeks and7 weeks 2 days i stll think of them now and again, like what would they look like, they would be school aged now would they like it. am i stupid to think this?

Not at all, Lizzie. My first miscarriage was 5 years ago -- that one would have started kindergarten this fall. I wonder what it would have been like to have two kids in the house. My last miscarriage was three years ago next month -- and occurred despite all kinds of medical intervention. At that point, I let go of my dream of having more children -- I just couldn't do it anymore. But I still wonder what those kids would have looked like -- any of them, all of them -- and I still wonder what it would have been like to have more than one child in the house. I wanted three, actually. I turned 40 two years ago, and given my life, and my job, not having any more children was for the best. But I don't know if my heart has ever or will ever accept that.

Karen - posted on 01/27/2009

Virley, I completely understand. I have a daughter who's 11, and suffered 5 losses, all at 8-9 weeks, after my daughter turned 5. No matter how far along you are, you become attached to that little being inside you. And you're right. Some days are better, some are worse. But you can survive it.

Lizze - posted on 01/27/2009

i lost 2 babies to miscarriage, i was told i couldnt have children at an early age so to fall pregnant was unbelieveable. i went for my scan at 12 weeks to find it had died :( i felt so guilty and it tokok a long time to get over . then 10 months after i found i was pregnant again, i was ecstatic :) but at 7 weeks 2 days i lost it :( when i fell pregnant again 3 months later i didnt let myself believe i was actually pregnant. after a troubled pregnancy i had mylittle girl nearly 3 1/2 years ago. she is my world and if i could never have any more it wouldnt matter asshe is so important to me. although i was only 12 weeks and7 weeks 2 days i stll think of them now and again, like what would they look like, they would be school aged now would they like it. am i stupid to think this?

Jill - posted on 01/27/2009

I delivered a stillborn at 26weeks.I think no matter how far along you are from the moment you take that pregnancy test to full term birth, you still have to convince your body as well as your mind that your not pregnant any more and there is no baby. My heart goes out to all of you brave women that have moved on and can speak of our losses. All are equally missed and gone too soon. Bless you all!

Kathleen - posted on 11/13/2008

I was about 6 weeks when I lost my little angel. It doesn't matter when you lose a child, you still lost a child and it hurts. I have a 6 month old little girl now and she is my whole world.

Christine - posted on 11/12/2008

Hi, Sorry for your loss too. Glad to hear you have a healthy daughter. I agree no matter how far along one is, Lossing a child is very hard, I was only 11 1/2 weeks along but the loss was very upsetting and I'm still trying to recover, I'm very glad there is a site like this, too know one is not alone. I would like it if you want to chat with me somemore