im scared...wat if it happens again!!

Charlotte - posted on 07/17/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I lost my daughter sam in march and found it hard to grieve for her because of the circumstances. My partner and I have been trying to conceive again, as we are desperate for a baby. This morning i done 2 pregnancy test and they came back positive, we are really really excited and cant wait 4 the pregnancy to progress. But im scared i will lose this one too. has anyone managed to have a baby after still birth and if you was scared how did you deal with it? please help i really wanna enjoy this pregnancy and don't want to be scared.

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Dolly - posted on 07/19/2009

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My first daughter wasn't a stillborn but she died shortly after birth. 13 months later, I held my next daughter, she was crying, along with everyone else in the room! It was my doctor who recommended we have another baby after losing our first. 2 years later, she had another sister and three years after that, a brother. It was difficult with all of them and the fear of loss was always there, but you can't let it take over the rest of the pregnancy. I think I held my breath in the delivery room the entire time. Your doctor will be the one to speak to, as often as you feel you have to. Any questions or concerns, call him/her.
I also have a cousin who had stillborn triplets and a friend who had a stillborn daughter. They have both had more children, who were born not long after and were fine.
Congratulations, relax as much as you can and enjoy your pregnancy.

Victoria - posted on 07/19/2009

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i had a stillborn son in november 2003 at full term we went straight in for another baby and i got caught a month later as the doctors said there was no reason to try again right away but the hospital had me there every few days on movement monitors and i had to see my midwife once a week all the way through they also induced me at 38 weeks to be on the safe side and connor was born as perfect as his brother but it was hard for me when i was pregnant i wrote down every kick hiccup and movement just for my own sanity but i have just had another boy hes 3 months old now and i was much better with him not so strict on writing every little thing down but again at hospital all the time and induced at 38 weeks but the worst bit for me was having to walk past the room in which i had jack to have both my other boys the hospital held bad memories for me and i got flash backs when they were inducing me with connor and kai but what i did find better was that the midwife that helped me bring jack into the world came to say hello when i was in having my other two but each person has there own way of coping but try not to dwell on the stillbirth its hard very hard but if you let the stress get to you its real hell for the 9 months i was bad with connor as it was straight after jack but with kai i was much better maybe time is a healer i don't know but i was better this time round deffo

Becky - posted on 07/18/2009

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I have not had a still birth but have had many miscarriages. I have two wonderful and health children who are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. With my daughter she came not long after i miscarried. I worried a lot but each midwife appointment they let me listen to the heart beat which meant so much to me. I worried so much if didn't feel her move i was on the phone to the hosptial/midwife who told me to go in and the listened and monitored the baby. No one judged me for maybe being a little nurotic about it.

With my son i still had those feels but much less and managed to not panic as much.

I guess it is hard because some where it is at the back of your mind, but i think Jessica is right you should speak with your doctor/midwife to see if they will see you more often.

Try to remember that most pregnancies go without any problems and that you should relax as much as you can. Congratulations on your pregnancy x

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2009

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I just had a stillborn daughter in May. I am not yet trying to conceive but my doctors have said that they will see me as often as I need during my next pregnancy to help me get through it and to ease my stress. Maybe your doctor will be willing to do the same just to ease your anxiety. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you the best. Good luck!

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