Loss of one Twin?

Heather - posted on 01/25/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Has anyone lost a twin? I lost my baby Benjarmin at 21 weeks but had to carry him and my survioring twin Bradley till 38 weeks.....what a bitter sweet day to deliever one breathing and one not......and to go from a busy active belly to one that only moved on one side...

anyone else out there with a similar story.......

heather

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Monique - posted on 12/28/2012

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Jennifer,
I to am nervous about carrying the other twin the whole time too. I am just thankful that one she is doing okay and second they are in separate sacks. I am currently 24 weeks as of yesterday. She a little fighter in there moving all day and everyday. I am just so glad to be a member of this sight and to know that I am not the only one who has/is going through this. I still have my days that are really emotional, because there are so many times I just want to know "WHY", especially when everything was going just fine. Sometimes I still think I feel him, but I know that can't be nothing but my NEED to feel his little kicks.

Elleigh - posted on 07/08/2013

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I lost my darling little boy, Thomas. He was still born. He had a twin Marleen who is luckily a happy, healthy girl. I SOOO wish that Thomas had not died :'(

[deleted account]

I just want to say my heart goes out to all of you ladies. The pain of losing a child is incomprehensible. I lost one of my twins in the first trimester yet the sac continued to grow. I have a small pelvis so this made very little room for my surviving son and bc of this his head became lodged against my left ischial spine which caused his head to not not form properly and he was born with a severe cranial deformity...but thank God he was alive. He also had severe nerve damage on one side of his body. For his first year he wore a helmet and doc band and had physical therapy every day. Now he is a happy and healthy 3 year old with no indication that there was ever a problem. I think of his twin and wonder what it would be like to have him. Who wouldnt? I have had 10 miscarriages and 2 live births. As heart breaking as it's been to lose these precious babies I cant even begin to imagine what you mommies have gone through with losing your babies after they were born or late term pregnancy. I would love to just hug all of you. God bless you all.

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Julie - posted 4 days ago

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I went for my 20 week scan and was told one of the twins had no heartbeat and was measuring 15 to 16 weeks, I've had another scan to check the remaining baby after 2 weeks and he seems to be doing fine but i asked them not to look for the deceased twin during the scan as i was scared but now I'm really regretting this as I'm driving my self mad thinking they have it wrong and the deceased twin is alive, I'm back every 2 weeks for a scan so do you think i should ask them to show me the deceased twin so i can start accepting it and move on and also I can't bring myself to believe the surviving twin will be ok

Andrea - posted on 01/31/2014

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I've lost one identical twin at 15 weeks and still pregnant with baby B at 25 weeks. Has anyone went full term?

Shaquana - posted on 06/26/2013

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no i havent went through that but ill say this dont give up on your babies hun. let them live and when they are both finally here then u decide how to or what to do.

Cinnamon - posted on 06/01/2013

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Hello ladies :) .. I wanted to share something with you all .. at 18 I became pregnant .. I didn't even know until I was about 3 months along .. after my first drs. appt. they said "with twins!!" .. after my first ultra sound, they sent me back to the drs. .. I had lost one :( .. the "Moron" told me to go home and wait for my body to go into "automatic abortion mode" .. I would lose them both!! .. I didn't like that answer (neither did my mother!! .. she tore him a new one for HOW he told me!! .. I love her!!) .. we went to a different dr. (same group :P ) and was put on bed rest .. my body went into "AAM" .. my boyfriend (now husband) took me to the er and I was admitted :( .. they gave me some wacky drugs to stop my labor, and tilted me feet up head down .. I stayed like that for about 2 1/2 weeks .. but labor had stopped and I was STILL pregnant!! .. funny story .. after 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital you accumulate a lot of things .. cards, flowers, balloons (because my friends and family rock!!) .. anyway, my boyfriend and I looked like who stole it and ran, but we were going home .. we stepped into the full elevator, and as the doors closed I couldn't help myself, I looked at him .. he at me .. and I said, "where's the baby?? I thought you were getting him and I was getting the stuff?? Oh well, we'll put this in he car and go back, nice job!!" .. well, if you could have seen the looks on those peoples faces .. OMG .. I almost peed a little on our walk to the car with everyone looking at us .. then we drove away!! .. ahahahahahaha .. hey if I had to be on "complete bed rest" with NO salt (only getting up to shower, use the toilet and visit a dr. .. 1 x week dr .. 1 x every 2 weeks ultrasound) then I wanted a few more laughs!! .. ps. Mrs. Dash might be a nice lady, but her salt substitutes SUCK!! .. so fast forward now to where I made it to almost 8 1/2 months before I went into labor .. I had just recently turned 19 and after 19 hours I delivered .. baby A on the 8th and baby B on the 9th .. the room was full of the doubting drs. who couldn't help but marvel at our determination to save baby B .. they couldn't miss his birth!! .. that was almost 24 years ago .. and he's still just as stubborn!! .. funny story .. 4 years after that pregnancy we had a little girl .. our family was complete!! ♥ .. but I was "too young" to have my tubes tied .. fast forward again, and 7 years later my husband had a little snip and tuck to prevent it from happening again .. but it happened again!! .. I can't help but think .. SHE IS TWIN A!! .. I wish you all peace, laughter and love!!

Karen - posted on 03/04/2013

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Hi Melissa, I was wondering how your are doing.
I have to terminate twin A at 18 weeks and I'm terrified about what will happen with twin B.

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2013

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Teresa, I feel the same.

I am 22 weeks now, but lost Twin A at 20 weeks and am also worried about going into pre term labour.

LindZ - posted on 01/02/2013

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Hi guys I am pregnant with identical twins that share a placenta but have seperete sacs, we lost one twin at 17 weeks and all still seems great with the other still at 21 wk and 3 days . Has anyone experienced this scenario ??

Sarah - posted on 12/30/2012

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Im currently Pregnant with twins at 20 weeks we found out that one baby has T18 or T13 and has stooped growning at 16 weeks. Now I have to decided to continue both prengnicies or stop my baby that has T18 or T13. My daughter is measuring at 20 weeks and is healthy, I am so conflicted as to what is the best corse of action. I know that my other baby wont make it to term but I dont know if id go into preterm labor if I do the KCL to stop my babies heart or continue with both. Has anyone else gone through this as well?

Jessica - posted on 12/28/2012

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im so sorry for ur loss but its a beautiful angel u gaind i kno it may be hard but please hold ur baby that has past as long as u can take that time.. i did for only a min an just glanced at him... in that moment i couldnt deal but now i have sooo many regrets i wish i held million longer i wish i gave him his bath i wish i took pictures with him i wish i planned his funrel i wish i picked his outfit i wish i did everything i was soposed to count his fingers and toes i wish i sang the i love u song that i sang to him and his brother so often.... i just wish....

Monique - posted on 12/28/2012

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I to am nervous about carrying the other twin the whole time too. I am just thankful that one she is doing okay and second they are in separate sacks. I am currently 24 weeks as of yesterday. She a little fighter in there moving all day and everyday. I am just so glad to be a member of this sight and to know that I am not the only one who has/is going through this. I still have my days that are really emotional, because there are so many times I just want to know "WHY", especially when everything was going just fine. Sometimes I still think I feel him, but I know that can't be nothing but my NEED to feel his little kicks.

Jessica - posted on 12/28/2012

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i have so many regrets about the day my id twin boys wer born... at 32 weeks and 5 days july 18th 2010 i had my boys c-cec. monyel and million... million passed ten days before ... july 8th... monyel was 4 lbs million was 2.8 lbs.. they tryd to keep me preg as long as poss. the hardest part? was feelin my son kick his brother as if he wer trying to wake him... its been 2 1/2 years and its still a daily stuggle for me just some days are easier than others... i miss him very much he is my angel... i wish i could hold him once more...everyday i wish that he was here. i just want to kno is anyone strugglin still as i am?.. its a forever heart break. my son monyel i thriving .an the joy of my life that keeps me going.. i had my tubes tied a year after. im very content. i dnt want havin another child take frm my first and only preg.

Monique - posted on 12/25/2012

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Yes I am in the same situation now. I went in for my routine 20 week check up and they could not find Gray's heart beat (baby b), so they told me his heart had just stopped like that morning. I am 24 weeks now and baby a is doing good. Like you I have to carry him with her. They were b/g twins. They can't tell me why or how it happened, but I still feel they same movement I was feeling when he was alive and my doctor told me it could be that she's kicking him :-/ . So now I have to have my cervix check for preterm labor and monthly blood work to look for infection. I wanted to have a 3D done like I did with my other 2 boys to see her, but not sure how that work. Anyone ever had one done with a deceased twin in there?

Melissa - posted on 12/12/2012

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I am currently 15+4 with fraternal twins through IVF, however at my 12 week NT scan it showed that Twin A has Hydrops and a 0% chance of survival. We are currently waiting for my precious baby to pass away on it's own and pray for a safe arrival of Twin B.

We have an appointment tomorrow to see if Twin A is still with us...I have extremely mixed emotions about what I want to see/find out at the appointment.

Marcel - posted on 12/12/2012

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Hi I don't know if this might be the first I am actually a father. i couldn't find any forums for dads, maybe there are some but my patients is not exsistent. My girlfriend went into labor on Dec. 9 2012 10 weeks before our due date. We were hoping when we got there they would tell us it was a false alarm, but it wasn't they said she was already 3 cenimeters. While doing an initial ultrasound they told us that couldn't find our boys heartbeat. they wanted to be sure so they called others in to confirm. they later confirmed that it was our girl not our boy who passed they had apparently switched sides. I can't get over it i never got to hold her, our son is in the NICU and is a true rockstar he is progressing better they ever imagined. I cry often and I feel like( i know its not wrong) when i cry i'm appreciating the miracle of him and when I don't I'm not remembering her. Now it seems like everybody are trying to make the mom and i to break down(I know they mean well). I wondering how will we tell him about his sister and when. I wonder if i'll wake up one day and forget about her, because I don't want to.

Teresa - posted on 12/11/2012

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Jennifer

Curious how your pregnancy progressed?

I just lost Twin A last week at 22 weeks...still pregnant with Twin B (fraternal) and extremely paranoid that I will go into preterm labour or lose the other one....



How are you doing...

Trina - posted on 10/24/2012

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I too had a similar story. Baby A (Frederick) died at 26 weeks and I had to carry both him and his brother Micah til 37 weeks when I was induced (he had stopped growing). It was hard being able to grieve a loss and celebrate the birth at the same time. That was 10 years ago...but I still find it difficult at times. People seem to forget the son I lost and every day I see my son it is a constant reminder of his identical twin. Mostly the time of year that is most difficult is around the time I lost Frederick (which was my husband and my anniversary) and right now since we just celebrated Micah's birthday.

I sometimes just wish I knew someone else remembered my loss!



Were you able to hold your son when you delivered him?

Antoinette - posted on 07/12/2012

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I'm 34 weeks and 2 days with twin boys and just found out yesturday that 1 has passed

Kendra - posted on 07/06/2012

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I lost one twin around 8 weeks pregnant. I didnt know at the time because there was not any real side effects to it. I found out at 16 weeks, during a sono that it had passes and was bascially absorbed into the lining of the other twin. I was told it is actually pretty common. I know we were having twins because an early sono at 5 weeks and again at 7 weeks becaue I was high risk. Many people do not know that they are pregnant at 5 weeks much less have had a sono. My remaining twin, a son was born early, but is very healthy now. We still joke that he has both personalities and the appitite for both though.

Kate - posted on 06/11/2012

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I lost Ross, my sons twin brother, when I was 29 weeks pregnant due to medical issues and moronic doctors and delivered my son Austin a few weeks later at 33 weeks into my pregnancy. I also had to carry both of the boys until I went into labor and had to have an emergency c-section. It was quite strange to go from an active belly to barely any movement. And a bitter-sweet delivery. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope Bradley is doing well.

Jennifer - posted on 05/26/2012

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hey there heather
iim so sorry for your lost
i also lost one of my twins Holden at 21 wks and im still carrying him
i have a question for u..
did u have to get a death cert and have a funeral?
from Canada

Jana - posted on 08/28/2011

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I had identical twin boys in June, delivered by c-section at 25 weeks. Our Carter almost immediately after he was born and his brother Cohen has been in the NICU for the last 3 months. He was critically ill due to the TTTS and prematurity. He has had a long road but hopefully we get to bring him home next month! What a mix of emotions, grieving one twin and celebrating the other.

Jodie - posted on 07/26/2011

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Yes i have also my twins were born in august of 04 but i miss my other little boy every single day they were idenitcal and they had twin to twin transfusion syndrome they were 2 weeks old when my Hayden passed away my other little twin boy is doing fairly well he will be 7 on aug 6th i did get to hold my little Hayden was holding him when he went to be with our Lord.../ my other little twin is named Hunter.... He reminds me of Hayden everyday after all they were identical.....

Iwas 26 weeks when they were born

Ivy Florence - posted on 06/27/2011

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i lost one of my twin too..he was 1year and 10 months old when he died this year last jan.1 because of severe asthma followed by heart failure.they are born with congenital heart disease.he his the youngest twin with severe case, his lips and nail beds are blue. he undergone total correction of his heart to make his life longer but his heart got bigger then the attack of his asthma makes it worst..it felt like half of my life died too.. my husband and i were trying to have another baby boy to make up for the lost...and praying that he is healthy and looks like the one that we have lost..

Shannon - posted on 06/07/2011

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We lost one of our identical twin girls to Turner Syndrome at 18 weeks. I have photos of her that I will never find the strength to view. Her ashes are still at the funeral home. I love our surviving daughter so much it hurts, but I cannot stop myself from constantly thinking about her sister and wondering what she would be like at 18-months-old.

Hilary - posted on 01/26/2009

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I lost two of my triplets last year. The triplet was lost in the first trimester. I carried my identical twin girls until 34 weeks on March 11, 2008 when my daughter Kirsten was found to have no heartbeat. The girls were born immediately as they shared a placenta.

Lisa - posted on 01/26/2009

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My twins were born at 26 weeks. Our son's sac ruptured at 22 weeks, but I was able to carry both babies for 4 1/2 weeks longer. He died the day after they were born and we just brought our daughter home from the NICU last week. It is definitely a bittersweet feeling.

Allyson - posted on 01/25/2009

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He is doing fine. They were fraternal, so thankfully my arms are still full. He is 6 mos old now. Yesterday was the 6 mo anniversary of his brother's heaven date. It is very hard, but I feel fortunate to have known him, and to have been blessed with such an awesome responsibility....of caring on his memory. We are still struggling with losing him, and each day is different, some are better than others. How old is your son?

Heather - posted on 01/25/2009

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Quoting Allyson:

Hello Heather, yes, in July I delivered my twin boys. One of my sons was born with Trisomy 13, and he died 3 weeks later. If you would like to talk, I would love to.



How is your other little guy doing? I never got to hold my other boy, what a hard thing you experienced. So sorry for your loss....

Allyson - posted on 01/25/2009

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Hello Heather, yes, in July I delivered my twin boys. One of my sons was born with Trisomy 13, and he died 3 weeks later. If you would like to talk, I would love to.

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