miscarriage revealed at 1st scan, my baby had to be removed :(

Serena - posted on 06/24/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Delete Are you sure? Yes | No Edit Posted by You (9:24 pm)


i had a miscarriage at 10wks, i had to have an op to remove my baby, it was a shock when they told me at my first scan my baby had died. the op was hard because they put me on a mixed ward where people were having terminations. i have an 18month old son and dont want too long an age gap for him. me and my partner arent getting on well and its only a day after op, i find it hard to talk to my mommy friends because we met being new moms. im worried wether this will drive me n my partner apart, i feel very lost and still have to be there for my son. i want another baby but im scared about being pregnant now. im 36 and know i cant wait too long because of my age, i just dont know what to do??? :(

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Chantelle - posted on 06/29/2009

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There are no magic words to make you feel better, I just had my 12 week scan a week ago and the scan showed a perfectly normal baby but no heartbeat it stopped at 10.5weeks. I also had to have a D&C and feel the same way lost,angry and empty. This is my Third Misscarriage in 10 months, so I should now the pain but don't. It will get better in time if you let yourself deal with it instead of pushing it away. There was a really good website I found for my husband to read so that he new how I felt, it was ourmiscarriage.com. You have to let him know how you feel, they say that our partners deal with the loss differently than us, My husband now knows how I feel because I told him, When they ask how you are today be honest and tell them how you really feel, Tell them that you are sad, angry. Talking to them is the best thing for you to do. If it wasn't for me being honest to my husband this time(becausethe last two times I pushed the feeling away and tried to be strong) I would feel that I was all alone but he is wonderful and just listens to how I feel.



You will never forget, just let yourself heal in your own way.



Take care

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6 Comments

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Karen - posted on 07/03/2009

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Hi Serena, So sorry to hear of the difficult loss of your baby. Your pain is still very raw and new. While I know it is hard to wait and your feelings are telling you that you need to have another baby, you are not in a good emotional state to make that life changing decision at this time. The biggest clue you have is that you are confused as to what to do.



I had my last child at the age of 39 and did just fine. I know you feel that you should have another child as soon as possible, but give it another year or at least until you and your partner have worked out your differences.



Take a deep breath, slow down, you still have time. Be sure this what you want to do before you rush into it. I speak out of experience believe me. I have now been a single parent for 30 years. It's no fun.

Emily - posted on 07/03/2009

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Age or not it is and will be much more important to be in a stable relationship before you have another baby. Think of the big picture and take a few months to rebuild your closeness to him.

Cheralee - posted on 06/30/2009

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I know how you feel.
I lost my second baby just last March. I don't know that the baby was died, I went to the ER because things did not feel right ( at 12 weeks). The ultarsound show that the baby had die at about 9 weeks.

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2009

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I am so sorry for your loss. It will get better. I was preg with our 2nd child and lost her at 13 weeks. I went in for our apoitment and there was no heart beat. So they did a sono and could see the baby, but the baby wasn't moving. So the next day I had to have a D&C. My hormones were worse than ever. Hang in there and give it some time.

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