My son Devin

Beth Anne - posted on 11/18/2008 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I had twins last Christmas eve (13 weeks early) and one died the day after Christmas. I am not looking forward to a Birthday, a holiday and then rememebring holding my son as he passed away.

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Linda - posted on 11/19/2008

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I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine, what you went through, but I kind of understand. The day after my sons 4th birthday last year, I lost my little girl at 21 weeks pregnant, December 12,2008. Dec. 11,2003, is always the happiest day of me and my husbands life,, but Dec.12,2007 will always be the saddiest day of our lives. I feel your pain, and I am hear for you.

Beth Anne - posted on 11/18/2008

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Thank you Tanya. We bought an angel for our tree we are going to call the Devin Angel. It was so strange. The twins were to be born on ester (due date) 2008. Instead they were born Christmas eve. Also, I found it strang that our baby Devin who passes away had the middle name Christopher. That name as picked out long ago. The bottom twin was Devin and the upper one as I carried them is Dylan. The hardley ever moved position and I always knew where each boy was. Funny you should mention Disneyland I used to live near there 9we have only been in TX a little over a year). I found out I was pregnant w/ the boys in CA (at the time we only knew of one baby) and we went to Disneyland before we left CA. I invited my Dad (who I never saw growing up) to come ot our home for Christmas. I thought that would change the focus a bit. It is just hard to imagine a birthday party Christmas eve for one when last yr. we pictured two... there were identical twins as well.

Jennifer - posted on 11/18/2008

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Tanya, I admire your strength so much! I too have found that nothing surpasses the peace that comes from Christ during our times of grief and sadness. I think it's so neat that you buy an ornament for your son every year. What a neat tradition to honor the life of your baby boy! My husband buy a decorative cross in memory of our son each year on his birthday. It's a great way for us to spend time together remembering his brief life here and we get to buy something special for him to hang on our wall at the same time. Beth Anne, maybe starting your own special tradition will help you cope with this time of year a little better, and also help you heal as you remember your precious babies on their birthday.

Tanya - posted on 11/18/2008

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Beth Anne, Your post absolutely drew me in. Two years ago this Christmas I gave birth to a beautiful 8lb baby boy. 16 hours later, for what to this day appears to be no reason at all he passed away in the hospital nursery. Last year was my first Christmas since his death and I too had no desire to celbrate Christmas in the traditional fashion. However, with two older kids I couldn't just whole myself up and not come out so instead I took the kids to Disneyland on Christmas day(we live in CA). They had a blast and I got to be at the "happiest place on earth" and wasn't dwelling on what day it was as I was shuffling through the crowds. This year is going to be a different story. My husband, who was deployed last Christmas, is back this year and he wants the traditional at home Christmas. I'm struggling with this a lot. I dread even getting out the decorations. But I know throught the strength of my Lord and Savior and my loving family that I will make it. I still by my precious baby an ornament and I have a special tree just for him. I wish you the best holiday.

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