Need recomendation on how to celebrate a birthday of a child who has past?

Lacey - posted on 08/11/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

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So it will be one year since my son has taken the path to heaven and i am not sure what to do so if u have any suggestions please let me know. I want to do something special .

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Laurie - posted on 08/26/2010

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It has been 18 years since I had to say goodbye to my first daughter and each year is significant. My suggestion is to find a tradition that is meaningful to you (and your family) that allows you to honour your child's memory. It can be as simple as releasing a balloon, having a cake to acknowledge the day, or making a donation to a special charity or organization. We each grieve and remember in unique ways - there is no right way or wrong way. Follow your heart. I hope you find some comfort in the tradition you choose. Your child will ALWAYS be part of you and will live forever in your heart and your memories.

Geri - posted on 08/13/2010

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Hi! My son would have turned three on May 14th. He was perfectly healthy, but during labor I had a uterine rupture and he lost his connection to me. He fought for 31 hours to stay with us. He was a special little guy and I wanted to honor his memory. Every year we have had a little cookout with close family and friends. We get enough balloons and little cards for everyone to be able to write him a message and we tie one on each balloon and then let them all go . The first year we actually put our website named for him on there so we could track if anyone found them and posted to the site. They made it really far and actually landed in the yards of a few people we know. It was kind of a cool way to celebrate HIM... not just remember the pain of the loss. But you will come up with something special for YOU. Hope this helped. Good luck....

Shannon - posted on 10/24/2011

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Each year is as individual as where I am in the grief process, Above all I do something that makes me feel good. The first year I did balloons and a cake, I'm at the five year mark; this year my I took a big cake to a gathering.

Christine - posted on 10/23/2011

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We always go to the cemetary and release a balloon but on the balloon we write our thoughts. It is almost like they are floating away to her.

Sarah - posted on 10/21/2011

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I lost my son on 10/22/09 he was born sleeping. For his first birthday we done the balloon release. Close friends and family gathered at his grave side and we sang "Happy Birthday" and sent up balloons with birthday wishes tied to them. Tomorrow will be his 2nd birthday and we will again be doing the balloon release and also we found an infant loss park in our area in which you can buy a memorial brick with whatever you want wrote on it and they place them in the walkways of the park. So we are going to there to have a picnic lunch in the park. I lost my son at 34 weeks gestational. Mommy loves you Chandler Bryce ♥

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Janna - posted on 10/23/2011

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We buy a small gift for a friend(different friend each year) and leave it on their doorstep annonimously. We hope to bless a new person each year in our precious daughters memory.

Jennifer - posted on 10/23/2011

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We lost our angel, Lizzy in October 1999. For the first few anniversaries my immediately family (16 people) would come over for dinner and then we'd all go to the grave site. We released balloons up to heaven and leave flowers. Now, many years later, we don't all meet up. I lost my dad 10 months after we lost Lizzy, and they are side-by-side. So, mom goes. We still go to dinner and visit her with balloons and flowers.

Leslie - posted on 10/21/2011

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Please don't release balloons. They are pretty and all BUT they wreck havoc on animals. The balloons look like food to allot of animals so they eat them, the balloons then cause obstructions and the animals die a slow painful death unless someone finds them and can get them into emergency surgery and even that is no guarantee that they will live. Also if there are strings involved then you have entanglement added. Depending on the time of year, a butterfly release is a far better way to go, not to mention the butterflies are The Compassionate Friend's symbol for out kids that have passed. I have been rehabilitating wildlife legally for 20+ years, my late daughter would help me. This December 29th will be her 11 year Angelversary. Also to those that tell me they about me "losing"my daughter, my child is not "lost", I know exactly where she is.

This year for her angelversary I will be going to the beach. There are no rights or wrongs each person remembers or marks the dates differently, never let someone tell you what you should be doing to celebrate your child, if you want to have a party, then do so, if you want to go away alone, do that!



I also want to wish my late daughter, Heather Lee Franco a Heavenly Happy Birthday November 2nd, her 25th birthday WOW!

Kristi - posted on 08/26/2010

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Our son Christian will be 2 on November 10th. As many others have mentioned, I made a cake last year. In addition I purchased fleece fabric and made little blankets out of it. I tookt these to the hospital where Christian was born and donated them in his honor for the arrival of any other angle babies joining him in heaven. I plan to do something this year too, but have not decided what. I encourage you to listen to your heart when you feel the tug as that is what you should do. Even if that is just spending some quiet time remembering your LO.

Stacy - posted on 08/26/2010

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My daughter Jordyn would've been 13 this year. She was born May 10, 1997 and passed away July 18,1997 from SIDS. We 'celebrate' the day she was born with letting balloons go to heaven. We all write our own little messages to her and then send them up. This can work with those we have lost of any age though - since we even do this for my dad too. It feels like you haven't just went thru the day and done nothing. It has always made me feel better. Hope this helps.

Jacqueline - posted on 08/25/2010

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We choose to release balloons and bring flowers and a card. The dates are always hard for me, so doing something special for my Angel makes me feel better.

Ginny - posted on 08/25/2010

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I was going to say write him notes and attach them to balloons & send them off, but many others also have. Maybe plant a tree or a rosebush? Or volunteer for a children's charity that day, raise money, do some other thing in his honor that would help someone else. Have a cake and sing him happy birthday, light a candle and remember him, talk about him with the rest of your family. We bought a little wooden angel figurine to remember our son which now sits in our living room all year round. If something appeals to you, do it - and hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

Terri - posted on 08/25/2010

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Hello dear, Lacey. My daughter left for Heaven July 6, 2004. Every year stayed in bed all day and then for my younger daughter, 19 now, we had a cake and ice cream and sung to Rachel .This year was the first year I was able to NOT stay in bed all day. I made her favorite dinner, like I use to do for her. Then the mini Birthday party. Hope this helps you some. You may e-mail me at my reg. e-mail address if you would like to. willowmina.raven@gmail.com.
My heart and prayers are with you.
Hugs

Jessica - posted on 08/24/2010

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My 10 day old son passed away on June 28th. I and my husband plan to have a bbq with all our family and friends to help celebrate his memory.

Brandy - posted on 08/22/2010

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I am sorry for your loss. The 1st "birth"day is the hardest. For my angel Addison on her 1st "angel-versary" as I liek to call it. We had a cake made, took it to the cemetary, and did a balloon release. ON the balloons we wrote personal notes to her, the realse was very theraputic. Every year we continue this tradition and take cake/cupcakes and balloons for the release! Thoughts and prayers to you.

Brandy - posted on 08/22/2010

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HI lacey I lost my twin boys in 2006 due to a car accidnet i never got to meet them i was 6 months along. I take the day of the accident Aug 16 very hard What i do for that day is i say a prayer to them telling them everything that has happen in the family and how much i miss them. I also on the day they were supposed to be born Feb 3 2007 I take that day and i buy a cake and i put thier names on it and make a wish for a better year to make myself stronger. I hope it goes well for u hun my prayers are with u

Alison - posted on 08/22/2010

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you can buy some balloons with heaven written on them they are filled with that special gas,I did that for my sons birthday in april and I also lit a candle at night for him mabe this is an idea for you, my son kevin sadly passed away in his sleep on dec 23rd 2009 he was 25 years old and just married its still early days for us.

Tania - posted on 08/21/2010

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I too lost my daughter due to a placental abruption. She was 33 weeks gestation! This year she would be turning 4, on the 13th November. The way my husband and I celebrate her is to put the Xmas tree up on her birthday......we take it down on her due date....which was 1st January. This becomes a special way for us to remeber her. Especially at night when we switch the lights on. Each year we buy a special decoration for her and we hang it on the tree. I now have a 14month old daughter that will help me with this task this year. This process works for me....it gives me peace......and it keeps her memory alive! I hope this helps you. All my love.....take care!
xxx

Jessica - posted on 08/20/2010

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my daughter pass last year on may 9th so this year we has a bbq and a birthday party and after wards went to church to give her flowers.we have to keep their memories alive and i think every one does it different but im sorry for your loss

Karen - posted on 08/19/2010

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For the first few years after my daughter died, we would get helium filled balloons. Each of us would write a letter to her, tie it to the balloons and send them off. It made us feel a bit more as if she was still around to celebrate, although we didn't do a special dinner or cake for her.

Tammi - posted on 08/19/2010

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My Little Man would have been turning 9 in Sept. Every year since I have made a special birthday dinner to honor him. I even make a special cake that I would have made every year if he were still here. Our other children call it Will's cake cause I only make it on his birthday and anniversary day of him getting his wings.
What ever you decide to do I am sure it will be beautiful.

Jenette - posted on 08/18/2010

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I have had this conversation with a close person to me who couldn't carry baby full terms. As we now have that in common, I was devastated after my miscarriage. I felt like I wanted something to remember him by that wasn't just in my head. Planting a tree or garden was suggested. Also, sending money to a child less fortunate was suggested. I hope you find something that gives you peace.

Zuzzette - posted on 08/18/2010

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Today is my late sons birthday. He was 10 when he passed awayin 1988 after complications during menangitis. We tend to go to the memorial garden where his ashes are laid and just spend some time with him remembering the good times. Then we go to the chapel and thank the Lord for the short time we had with such a wonderful person. We ask for his blessing and peace of heart and mind. It helps us and we think it is a wonderful idea as it brings us close to him in Gods presence

Leslie - posted on 08/18/2010

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Please don't release balloons. They are pretty and all BUT they wreck havoc on animals. The balloons look like food to allot of animals so they eat them, the balloons then cause obstructions and the animals die a slow painful death unless someone finds them and can get them into emergency surgery and even that is no guarantee that they will live. Also if there are strings involved then you have entanglement added. Depending on the time of year, a butterfly release is a far better way to go, not to mention the butterflies are The Compassionate Friend's symbol for out kids that have passed. I have been rehabilitating wildlife legally for 20+ years, my late daughter would help me. This December 29th will be her 10 year Angelversary.

Kathy - posted on 08/17/2010

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We bake a cake everyyear our daughter Passed and bring a vase of flowers to her grave. Or u could send balloons up in the air toward heaven..

MICHELLE - posted on 08/17/2010

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have you connected with compassionate friends in your area? its a wonderful support group for bereved parents. my lit'l boy passed away @ 5 1/2. it will make 2 yrs sept.25th. its hard as you know. i usually send balloons off...i write messages on them...i always buy a lit'l gift in memory of him and give it to his class.on his angel day i send a donation to one of his favorite cherities in memory of him.he loved flowers so i make it a point to plant new ones in his garden.God bless you. i will be thinking about you on your sons special day.

Megan - posted on 08/17/2010

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i buy butterfly larvae, grow them, and release them on his birthday. it's a renewal of life and seeing them outside all summer long gives me something to smile about.

Leslie - posted on 08/17/2010

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Do whatever you feel like doing! For my daughter's birthday we go to one of her favorite restaurants. On her Angelversary, we take a trip somewhere. There are no rights or wrongs.

Shellie - posted on 08/16/2010

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For my daughter's birthday and "angelversary," we usually do something positive to lift her up and continue her legacy of love. We've held donation drives for Ronald McDonald House, Brooke's Place (an organization that helps children deal w/ grief), canned for drive, and stuffed animal drives. Churches, schools, etc. usually help (act as a drop off location and advertise). We are finishing up a stuffed animal drive now. The place I work out is acting as a drop off location. Some people volunteer, some do things w/ family, some prefer to be alone. There are no right or wrong answers w/ grief, whatever gets you through... My daughter forever changed my heart and I want to continue her love. We've also started 2 scholarships in her name. We held 50/50 raffles at the place my husband RC car races and family usually donate for her birthday and Christmas. We just do what makes up feel closer to Livi and lifts her up.

Charity - posted on 08/16/2010

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I am sorry for your loss, I too lost my Austin at 35 weeks from placental abruption.
What you do for your son is something that your heart will tell you. The first year we did a huge balloon release and baked cupcakes. We just past his 2nd birthday and this year we did another balloon release, baked cookies and put all the other angel children names on them and had a toy story cake made for him. I also keep a scrapbook of letters and notes written to him from family members.
We will be thinking of you and your sweet Blake!

Lauretta - posted on 08/14/2010

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You can do whatever you feel you want to...Every year on Domenick's birthday we participated in a Christmas tree sale for the Boys Scouts and I would bring Cupcakes and treats for all the boys and the first birthday after he passed I once again bakes cupcakes and brought them to the scouts at the tree sale and they sat around talking about Domenick and how much they missed him...I went home feeling better than I did when I started the day...
Hope that helps

Lacey - posted on 08/14/2010

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I want to thank all of u for all the recommendation. On Aug. 28th it will be one year since i had my son Blake he was born stillborn my placenta ruptured. I was 29 weeks pregnant. I still remember all the kicking he did in my tummy and then i couldn't feel anything. Thank u again this is a very hard month for me.

Tara - posted on 08/13/2010

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My son was born on April. 29,2009 full term he was alive for 19 hours and 40 min. he also went to heaven on April. 29, 2009. What we did for our sweet little Karter first birthday was we both had the day off. the first thing I did was take everything for the that I got from the hospital and cried then I put it all back in the box. My husband made him a cake and then we went out and got Karter a potted flower and choose it together and then later that night I iced the cake and put a candle on the cake that sang sang happy birthday we also sang happy birthday to him I know he was close and loved what we did for him our sweet little Karter.

Zawanda - posted on 08/13/2010

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The first year was the hardest for me. My son would have been 9 this year. My mom, myself and my son that is living and my baby brother went out to dinner and talked about how Kareem only lived for a short time but he had his very own personality. He died from Chrone's disease. After that my son and I get helium balloons and say a few words. And let the ballons go.

Rachel - posted on 08/12/2010

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My daughter was stillborn Aug2005, we consider that her birthday even though she wasn't born alive. Every yr we buy a helium filled "Happy Birthday" balloon & go to her grave site & let the balloon go, we sing happy birthday to her as it floats upward to Heaven, then say a little prayer for her. Her bday is Aug 9th so it just passed & this yr she had a little brother who is 5 months old now so we let him hold the balloon & let it go. It helps us to celebrate her & I find that even though the day is sad because she isn't here w/ us, letting the balloon go is like I'm sending a piece of me to her, it helps heal my heart. I hope you find something that is special for you & your angel.

Victoria - posted on 08/11/2010

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my son would have been 7 in november every year we go to his grave give him cards and a little gift buy him a flower number or somthing (as i caant spend much on gifts for the grave as they get taken by youths) and we go out for a meal to say happy birthday to him the 1st year is the worst we had a number 1 done in flowers for him but now what we will get him this year i dont know but we always go out for a mean me my husband and our children we have had since xx hope this helps my sonwas still born at 39 weeks and 3 days

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