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Brandi - posted on 12/08/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have been on here about a week now. And have shared some of my story while answering others posts. So here it is my story. I have three daughters. Amaris almost 6, Keltie 3 and my angel Reagan who we lost at 34 wks. About a month ago, This pregnancy was a little different then my other 2. I had inflammation of the cervix with all 3, This time is was worse then before, I was put on bed rest a few days at a time until 14wk when I went in for a appointment and the dr said it was getting worse so we cauterised the blood vessels to make the bleeding stop, At this point it was only in my urine testing. So we done this procedure, And was told it might make me cramp,That night I started bleeding very badly, went out to the ER and they told me it was likely that I miscarried. To see my doctor the next day. So we did and they decided to do another procedure, where they go in and put moncells (sp?) on the cervix to stop it. After that everything was fine. No more bleeding everything was great.
Reagan grew like a normal baby, Actually 2 wks bigger then her due date form about 28wks on. At my next appointment I complained about my side hurting which they contributed to muscle/skeletal problem from the way she was laying and if it continued we would look into further, Although wk and wk I complained, left work to see the dr bc the pain was bad they never "looked into it". I rested and done what I could to stay off me feet at 33/5 we went in for our normal app. which was Mon. everything was great.
By Wed. I didn't think I had felt any movement, but chalked it up to being busy. Thur. I went to work and I thought I was really strange I hadn't felt anything so I made to a point to go home and relax and see what was up. NOTHING. So on Fri after my other 2 daughters had there flu shot,I walked right past the door to my dr to the elevator, Then my gut said you need to go see. So I went in and that's when we learned we lost our baby girl. They could not tell us much but that we would have to wait to see once she was here if we could tell what went wrong.

We went to the hospital to be induce which took a whopping 19 hours! And once my little Reagan Grace was here, They told us her umbilical cord was to short and likely got pinched cutting the bloodflow once she turned into position. I have never in my life heard of such a thing! And have not been able to find anything that supports that this kinda thing "just happens".
I think we are doing as well as we can at the moment. Our six yr old is very upset that she didn't get to see her, not that she is gone, because as she says she knew that. But she just wanted to see her.

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Jamie - posted on 12/14/2010

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I am very sorry for your loss. On May 29, 2010 I gave birth to my beautiful angel Sarah who was stillborn at 21 weeks. She was always so active and then the night before we went in to find out what we were having I didn't feel movement and knew she had passed but my husband told me everything was fine and we would know for sure the next morning so the next morning we dropped my 5 year old off at school (she will be 6 in Feb 2011) and then went to my app. They did the ultrasound and then told me there was no longer a heartbeat. I was devastated, this was our second child we lost and we didn't know why. When they induced I was in labor for 21 hrs and finally delivered my angel Sarah who was 1lb 2oz and 11 1/2 in long. She had passed away from a cord accident. Her cord was very long and got wrapped around her neck 3 times, around her torso once and was in a "true" knot. It has been almost 7 months since I lost my daughter and I am now at peace with her being with Jesus. At first I was so angry and didn't understand why this had happened to my husband and I again. My daughter was so upset she cried for days with me. I tried to stay strong for her but I knew it was okay to cry for her. For many days after I lost Sarah my daughter Alyson would ask me if she could see a picture of her since she didn't get to see her in person. I tell her that one day she can when I know she is old enough to handle it. I don't think it would scare her because it wasn't scary for me but I don't know for sure. My husband and I are now trying for another baby and when we talk about if it's a girl my daughter Alyson wants to name our next girl Sarah so we told her we wont name her Sarah but we can name her Grace Ruthann (Ruthann was Sarah's middle name) after her sister. She loves that name and tells me all the time how she loves her sister so much. Alyson calls Sarah her little butterfly and anytime she sees a butterfly she chases it like she is playing with her sister. I have 4 children altogether.....2 here with me and 2 watching over me in heaven. Maybe a way to help your daughter deal with this is letting her give your angel a nickname. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. God bless you all!

Jody - posted on 12/09/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss... I lost my son Elias last june, i was 36 weeks... He looked so perfect to me when he got here and I still don't understand... The doctors could never give me a reason.... They say they don't know what happened to him.... I think not knowing is very hard... Not knowing if maybe there were something I could have done.... I still cry for him and wish I could hold him... I can't say it gets easier, but I understand.... I wish you and your family the best.... My daughter Ezra got me through.... She is my whole world...

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Jody - posted on 12/13/2010

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Heather,
I just wanted to say congratulations on your new son... And on having the courage to try again... I am sorry for your loss as well...

Heather - posted on 12/13/2010

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Reading your story is so touching! I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost a son Blake Evan in May 2009. His cord was to long and wrapped around his neck killing him at 38 weeks. We have since had another son but the pain is no less. That empty peice will always be with us. I wish comfort to your daughter also...I cant imagine her frustration and confussion.

Lisa - posted on 12/09/2010

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I'm sorry for your loss & thanks for sharing.

I too lost my daughter at 34wks to a possible cord accident. Just one of those things apparently!! Not knowing what actually happened to her makes it hard for me to understand.

That was in 2006 & I still think of her everyday but it does get easier to live with. Its not a crippling pain anymore, just an ache, a wish that she was here with us & not watching us from above.

I've gone on to have 2 sons & when they're old enough they'll hear all about their older sister.

Good luck for the future!

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