No Birth Certificate

Jamie - posted on 07/26/2010 ( 31 moms have responded )

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I am so sad......my mom just went to the courthouse and tried to get a birth certificate for my daughter Sarah who was stillborn at 21 weeks on May 29, 2010 and the people at the courthouse said there won't be a birth certificate because she never took a breath of air. I am so devastated about this news. I am really not sure what to do. How can there be a death certificate but no BIRTH certificate??? has anyone else been in this situation and if so how did you deal with it? I really need some help and advice please! :(

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Jamie - posted on 07/29/2010

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I got footprints and papers saying weight and length but not being able to have a official birth certificate upsets me. I live in Texas and if the baby is lost before 20 weeks it is considered a miscarriage and you don't have to have a funeral or anything but after 20 weeks you are required to have some kind of funeral service. I lost my 2nd child at 18 weeks but was never given the option to bury my baby and I didn't know I could name it even tho I didn't know what it was because the baby had passed away about 2 weeks prior to delivery. They no cause for the death of that baby so it was sent off for autopsy but never found any reasoning. I now call my 2nd baby Baby J and now my daughter Sarah was stillborn on May 29th and we had her funeral on June 3 (two days before my 6 year anniversary of marriage.) I believe that if you are required to have some kind of funeral service for a baby after 20 weeks then the government should be required to give you a birth certificate. My mom is making a scrapbook for me about Sarah's short life and I really want her birth certificate in it along with her death certificate. I feel like since I was in labor with her for over 21 hrs then I should be given the option to get a birth certificate for a baby I gave birth too. Thank you all for your advice and support and sorry that you have been thru the same. I hope that this changes one day and we all have the option of having this for our angels in Heaven. God Bless you all!

Jennifer Marie - posted on 12/29/2012

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my sister just recently suffered complications with the pregnancy of her twin boys they were 26 weeks. the complications resulted in the death of one of the babies and the other is in the NICU. she doesnt have all the money to bury the baby,does any one out there know of any place that may be able to help with any types of donations?? caskate,flowers,or any thing that might be needed to bury the baby... thank you for your time!!! GOD BLESS

Rachel - posted on 07/28/2010

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I have been where you are. On August 9th, 2005, I had a stillborn baby girl. She was my first baby so I didn't know who to contact about her birth certificate, so before I was discharged from the hospital I asked a nurse. When she told me there wouldn't be one I was devastated. I didn't understand, she was born so why don't I get one. I felt like they were saying she never happened. I told them I wanted something before I left the hospital w/ her footprints, or anything saying she was born. I remember them wheeling me out to go home & I grabbed onto the nurses station desk & said "I'm not letting go unyil someone gets me something saying her name, date of birth, & proof she was born!" I sat there for 20mins before the nurse came back w/ a piece of paper w/ her name, weight, height, date of birth, & her tiny footprints. It's not a birth certificate, but I needed something for myself prooving that she had been born, had happened. I think it's sad they don't get birth certificates, they were BORN, maybe no breathing, but they were born & the word birth comes from being born. I keep that regular plain ol' sheet of paper w/ her death certificate in her baby book. I am so so sorry for your loss, it doesn't happen often, but I can honestly say I know how you feel. Try going to the hospital where Sarah was born, & ask them for a copy of her footprints, they will have them on file. Unfortunately it's the closest thing to a birth certificate. The pain of losing her will never go away, but she will always be in your heart. I know this because it's been almost 5yrs ago that I lost my Mariah Astra. God bless.

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Candace - posted on 01/29/2013

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I read through all of these and it looked like they were all still births. I lost my baby at 22 weeks due to prematurity, she lived for three hours. I only received the death certificate and am looking to see if I can get a birth certificate. I live in California. Does anyone know if this is possible? Thanks for any response. Much love and healing to all of you.

Kelly - posted on 12/30/2012

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I lost my son Noah at 40 weeks the day before my scheduled c section. It was sept 26, just a few months ago, and this was also very hard for me to hear. I didn't really think about the birth certificate until we received his death certificate. Once I realized we wouldn't be getting his birth certificate,I was devastated. I have a feeling this will be different in the future. If you have to plan a funeral for your child, you should get a birth certificate! Plain and simple! I'm sorry for your loss and hope you and I can come to terms with this bad news.

Nycole - posted on 09/22/2010

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I lost a little girl 5 years ago. She was stillborn at 27 weeks. I never got a birth nor death certificate, nor any information about how to get one. I should look into it about getting at least her death certificate. I got something as proof that she was at least born, and had a funeral, that helped me out a little bit.

Tamara - posted on 09/22/2010

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Me and my husbund sent the money order in for our son Kyler's birth cert. about 5 months ago and we still havent heard from them by phone or mail. They sent a paper to us saying they needed photo ID and we sent that but still no word. Im starting wonder if we do get one?????

Lorrie (Kern) - posted on 09/21/2010

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I also didnt receive a birth certificate just a death certificate on my little girl Katelin. That was in2008. The Hospital did however take some pictures and gave me a clipping from her hair. She had a headfull of it. I was 12wks from my due date when her cord wrapped around her neck. Im sorry u have had to go thru this and that they dont give birth certificates. I myself think they should.

Leticia - posted on 09/11/2010

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what they told ur mom is true... according to law... a fetus isnt a baby until it takes a breath. but as a mother. its a baby from the moment you first start loving it. when u feel it kick and move. im so sorry that u lost ur child. i know its hard. and it doesnt get easier. it only gets more tolerable...


I read this post and it is law.
What I don't understand is, that depending on the situation if it's a fetus weather its hasnt taken a breath or not. When the subject comes to abortion, thaen its a fetus. But to us mothers that have carried our children, its not a fetus if our child hasn't taken a breath. Its very frustrating. It's only a fetus when the law and government finds it convient for them.

Leticia - posted on 09/11/2010

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My daughter was still born too at 40wks 2days and I was told the same thing. I think it is wrong to get a death certificate but no birth certificate. I was told that there is nothing to do. I was very upset about this too. I would think that there is something that can be done about this. I will do some research and see what I can find out and let you know.

Heidi - posted on 08/12/2010

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In Iowa after 21 weeks you get a certificate of fetal death. My daughter was born still at 32 weeks. Lucky for me there is a support group for mothers who have lost children. One of our projects is to put together special baskets for other mothers who loose their babies. One of the things we plan to put in the baskets will be kind of a home-made birth certificate. We figure that if the state won't give us one, we will have one anyway. Just because the states don't want to go through the paperwork of giving us a birth certificate for our special angels doesn't mean they never lived. I tell people that my Livi was alive for 32 weeks, just because she never lived outside of my body doesn't mean she wasn't alive. She had a personality, and emotions. To us, she was very much alive. So part of my advice would be to take the things you have and use them to make your own birth certificate.

Sicily - posted on 08/09/2010

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what they told ur mom is true... according to law... a fetus isnt a baby until it takes a breath. but as a mother. its a baby from the moment you first start loving it. when u feel it kick and move. im so sorry that u lost ur child. i know its hard. and it doesnt get easier. it only gets more tolerable...

Kerrin - posted on 08/08/2010

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Makes me wonder sometimes wlhy people go into the fields they do. I had the most wonderful 2 nurses I could have every asked for when I had Ashley. They were kind, always checked in on me - they even made sure that they always kept the door closed so that I wasn't constantly hearing the sounds of the babies crying in the other rooms. When my hubby & family had left for the night & I was alone, one of them even sat beside me, just giving me a cuddle while I cried. I wish I could clone the 2 of them & give them to every woman going through what we did cause that's the support that all parents deserve.

Jamie - posted on 08/08/2010

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When I was in the hospital having my daughter Sarah the stupid nurse asked me "is this your first sa?" I said "what's that?" and she said "spontanious abortion." I looked at her like I'm about to hit you. She changed it and said miscarriage. I was so upset I could have knocked her lights out.

Kerrin - posted on 08/08/2010

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Really think they need to change the way they look at some of the wordings now. Spontaneous abortion & fetal demise are so cold & cruel when you're think that they're talking about someone's son or daughter.

Even though I haven't wanted to look at my daughter's certificates yet, I'm thankful I have them.

Alex - posted on 08/08/2010

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My stillborn twin was issued with a still birth certificate which we paid for But we do have a record with the still birth certificate. We did register his birth and death together which was very hard to deal with.

Becky - posted on 08/07/2010

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I don't have a birth certificate for my son either. He was 7 wks old when he passed away, but do to his stay in NICU and the fact that he was not to be taken out of the house until he was 8 wks old when he finally got to come home I wasn't able to get to the health department to get one. When I went to the health department to get his twins birth certificate I also requested a copy of Davon's and they told me one a death certificate is in the system they won't issue a birth certificate for that person. I was devastated. They told me they couldn't issue a bc because of identity theft. I know that no mother would steal the identity of their child. We just want a record of their birth.

Karen - posted on 08/06/2010

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What state do you live in? I live in New York and a child has to be born alive to get a birth/death certificate. When my daughter was stillborn at 37 weeks we got a spontaneous abortion certificate. I never wanted to see it again. There is a website it isn't coming to the top of my head right now. MISS something. We have fought legislation to pass a law but for some odd reason they won't do it.

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2010

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my daughter was stillborn at 38 weeks and i still recieved a birth certificate

Shelly - posted on 08/04/2010

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A lot depends on where your child was delivered. I lost my angel at 37 weeks in Guam and they follow CA laws. I didn't even get a death certificate. I got a certificate of fetal demise. A lot of states now offer a certificate of birth resulting in still birth.

I am so very very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and serenity. Nothing will ever be the same but you will eventually adapt. There will come a day when you can think of your precious angel and just smile that sad smile of longing and remembrance. Things will never be the way they were but eventually you will find a new "normal" and you will continue to live and to honor the memory of your child.

Marzelita - posted on 08/03/2010

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Dear Sarah. I was 4 days overdue when it happens. I didnt even thought about birth cert or death cert... if Afiq is alive, he'd be 11 this year. Your can find other ways to remember her. Can you imagine, i got my second chance 8 years after that... and now i have Adif. We make sure Adif knows he has a big brother, say prayers for his brother often, visit his grave often (it's 4 hours away!)... take care and be strong!

Tara - posted on 08/01/2010

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I did not try after my sweet Karter but he was 41 weeks a week over due and alive for 19 hours and 40 min but so unfair they will not give you will I mean your Sarah was born you should be able to get a birth certificate you should fight that I am sorry very sorry for your loss it is the most pain you will ever feel to loss a baby my son was born on April. 29, 2009 and it is still so hard I am so sorry for you loss if you need someone to talk too feel free to add me as a friend on facebook that is what got my though people I knew had a friend that also lost a baby I had 4 great woman to help me though.

Anna - posted on 07/30/2010

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Each state has different laws on what certificates are issued. I think in some states they do have a special certificate for stillbirth instead of a death certificate....

Sneaky - posted on 07/30/2010

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That really, really sucks!!!! I am in Australia with Kerrin so after 20 weeks here they issue both a birth and a death certificate (you get both even if you have a termination for medical reasons after 20 weeks) so it doesn't screw up all the population statistics.

If you think it might help, I am a member of a support organization here in Australia that can do you a 'certificate of life'. They are a charity so you do have to pay for it - the website is: http://www.teddyloveclub.org.au/ and then if you go into the 'store' tab you can see one.

The only advice I can give you is to suggest that you use your frustration and anger and try to change the situation were you live? Maybe, when you feel up to it, you could start a petition or write letters to your local or state representatives? It makes NO sense at all that you were not issued a birth certificate and I am so sorry that some stupid bureaucracy is causing you more distress :o(

Angela - posted on 07/28/2010

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I did not receive a birth certificate either and it is stupid the excuse they give us too. I just had to go on with my life and be happy with the articles of clothing she wore and the pictures we took of her after I had her Brookelyn K. Williams stillborn at 36weeks . I am sure you miss your child everyday, I promise it will get easier and you will have less sad days . sorry to hear about your loss no mother should have to go threw what we have had to go threw.

Tonya - posted on 07/28/2010

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I delivered my son Logan stillborn at 22 weeks. They do not give you a birth certificate if the baby is not born alive. But we did get a "Certificate of Life" with all his information on it including footprints because he was alive at one time. We were told up front that if he was stillborn there would be no birth certificate. But our hospital made sure we had absolutely everything that he touched after he was born including blanket, handprints, footprints, pictures, a memory box, the works. Without having them in our arms we long for anything that is a reminder of their short life.

Jayne - posted on 07/28/2010

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Where I live it's the same as Kerrin, under 20 weeks is classed as a misscarriage and over is a premeture birth. Maybe ask someone to chase it up for you, maybe the person who told your mum had wrong information it makes no sence to have a death certificate and no birth certificate. Also where I am you have to have a funeral ect over 20 weeks. So you should your baby is a person and was alive in you. When I went to regisater my sons birth the lady said with a big smile "so where is he?", she started crying when I told her he had passed away :( I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this xoxo

Kerrin - posted on 07/26/2010

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I'm not sure where you live, but where I am, under 20 weeks, it's classed a miscarriage & over 20 weeks, it's classed as stillbirth & you get birth/death certificates regardless of whether your child is born breathing or not (our daughter was stillborn @ roughly 36 weeks).

Tamara, maybe you might need to chase them up on the birth certificate? We got ours within a month from births, deaths & marriages, but it may differe from country to country etc....

And I agree with Deanna - we have no photos of our daughter due to the circumstances of her birth but we put together a 'memory box' of things with the help of our SIDS organisation who donated the box, a lil outfit & baby blanket. We just put in it a few things - a rattle we'd bought, a copy of the special photos we had done from 'To Write Their Names In The Sand' etc..... The few things that we associated with our daughter.

Tamara - posted on 07/26/2010

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me and my husbund lost our son in march of 2010 and we still havent received a birth cert, from the health dept. i just wonder if we will get one. he lived for 2 hours after his birth

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I don't understand it either and there is no clear cut way to deal with it. We just do. It will take months and maybe even a few years before you feel like you are surviving it but you will. Find your own way to honor her and if you want to make a shadow box of her things, or a shelf where her ashes sit, or even frame her sonogram pics that would be just fine. Make a scrapbook and be sure to have a couple of boxes of tissues handy. Let yourself cry, bawl, scream, throw things, etc. (handy to have a lot of soft soft balls for that one) Know that you are not the only one and even though you and your daughter are the only ones that matter to you right now there are those of us that have been there. I personally lost my son that way but earlier. They called him a miscarriage. He will never be that in my heart. I will keep you in my heart and prayers.

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