Pregeny after a loss

Araya - posted on 09/07/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I just found out i was 8 weeks the other day and its only been 4 moths how do u deal with a new one who your not over the last one?

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Lisa - posted on 09/25/2010

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I lost my daughter 4 years ago when she was 6 months and got pregnant last year..found out in september. I felt alot of anxiety and felt very protective. Now that i've had my son that fear has faded away and i dont feel like i hover over him because im scared something might happen. My daughter passed away after a huge impact in a car accident so when i drive im extremely careful and i try not to drive so much with him in the car but that fear has faded as well. You'll always feel heartache because of your first loss but with time it gets easier. You dont forget..the pain just isnt as bad as it use to be. Keep your head up and try to be happy because if your not happy your baby will feel that and isnt good for him/her.

Tamara - posted on 09/23/2010

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I am 1 month pregnant and its only been 6 months since my son Kyler was born with Oral Facial Digit Syndrome and passed away two hours after his birth. Now Im scared this one will pass away cause the doctors gave it a 25 percent it wont survive and 75 percent it will live.

Belinda - posted on 09/10/2010

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i too lost a baby at 20wks we found out on xmas eve when we went for the 20wk scan she had passed away that night it was a double blow for us as it had taken us so long fall pregnant and were told that that was our 1 chance then 5 wks later i was pregnant again (dont listen to what doctors say lol) the pregnancy was hard and scary noone really understood why i was feeling the way i was they would all say "just be happy you are pregnant" but you cant help but worry. I now have the most beautiful 9mth old who is my world and love her with all my heart but not a day goes by that i dont think of Layla.
I love the saying "our childern are part of our soul living outside our bodies" not worded quite right i will have to find the real one but i think this is so true even for childen we have lost they are always with us.

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Ashley - posted on 03/28/2012

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I assume you're talking about losing your first pregnancy before birth. When I was 19 I lost a baby. I didn't know that I was pregnant and had had a period normally. And suddenly passed the baby. It was the the first worst experience of my life. We didn't want kids, and we hadn't planned on having any for a while. But none the less it was devastating. Then in 2010 after 2 long years of trying to conceive we finally did. And after many trips to the ER and a ton of drs visits at 12 long suffering weeks we lost our angel. That was the second worst experience of my life. Not only did I lose this baby, I had to have a D&C. It was horrible. I thought after that we would never conceive again. Then this past year in August we found out we were expecting again. And I am now 38 weeks pregnant with our miracle baby. That's what I call him. He's a blessing. Though I'll never be able to fully be done grieving for the loss of my first two children. It makes me love my Chandler even more. I think of the other two angels every day. And I may tear up and feel depressed about it but I go on. Never once do I forget about the day, and one day I even hope that if there's a heaven my two angels tell everyone proudly that I'm their mommy. Even though I never had the chance to be their mommy. It's hard, and it will be hard the moment you feel that baby kick for the first time. But just remember, that other baby loved you too. =]

Araya - posted on 03/19/2012

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update I was blessde with another beautfull daugher she will be 1 in a few days and is heathly was a bee We love her I miss my lexus my angel baby but i have got so much in life she made it all possible

Lacey - posted on 03/18/2012

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i had a miscarriage feb 7, 2008, lost my oldest daughter on feb 26, 2008, and found out i was 6 weeks pregnant a couple weeks later. let me tell you, it was not easy to deal with and i went through depression and wanting an abortion (which i am against). it was even harder for me when i found out i was having a girl. it wasnt easy for me, i thought it was too soon. but i dealt with it, i had the doctors take extra precaution with the pregnancy and they did more sonograms than usual, but she was born happy and healthy on nov 17, 2008, which coincidentally was her oldest brothers 9 bday, he also passed away he lived only 12 days. everything will turn out just fine. take it easy and try not to stress.

Niki - posted on 09/26/2010

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cong. on ur new addition getting over ur baby getting wings will never be easy but to learn to know that ur child is forever alive in ur heart. i miss our son jacob israel .he passed asleep on june 10,2010 i was 7 months preg everyday but i know he is with me 24/7 love never dies im blessed tohave held him & see his face the product of love from me & my husband it hurts they are not here with us on earth but they are with god & in our hearts. you are blessed again & be happy that ur guardian angel is gonna have a little sis or brother:) god bless ur not alone

Tracy - posted on 09/25/2010

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its hard no matter how long u wait. i got pregnant a couple of months after havin a still birth at 28 weeks in 2003.unfortunatly i had 2 miscarriages after that but then in 2005 i got pregnant with my son n had horrible thoughts that it was 2 soon. it does feel hard 2 deal wit but as u get further on it will become a bit easier 2 deal with.

Pamela - posted on 09/21/2010

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I dealt with my pregnancy by being a mom to my baby every day. Until he was born, I was scared, but decided every day he was still "viable" I was his mom and would love him. He got lots of reading to, music, talking to, and lots of me rubbing my belly.

I guess he was so happy in there he didn't want to come out because he was late : ) He's happy and healthy now.

We didn't "furnish the nursery" the second time around out of caution. We bought a portable crib and a few baby basics. We went on a shopping spree when he was about four months old.

Hope that helps. It's great to think positive, but don't discount your loss or fears. Your will always be your first baby's mom.

Cassie - posted on 09/21/2010

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Another thing, my due date was the date my daughter was born/died. I felt like it was her giving us a blessing. Maybe I'm silly. But my son is just fine and about to turn 12 months. I know you'll be just fine!! Stay postive!

Cassie - posted on 09/21/2010

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I found out I was pregnant 2 months after losing my daughter, she was born at 21 weeks and died in our arms.

I just kept positive, stayed on bedrest as instructed and tried to do things I liked to do. I read a lot about other women and asked for advice! Good luck!!

Anna - posted on 09/18/2010

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I lost one of my twin daughters 5 years ago and went on to have another girl 20 months later, then a boy 19 months after her. The first pregnancy after the death was very scary as it wasn't a good pregnancy.She had IUGR and had to be delivered at 37 weeks, went blue and unconscious a couple of hours after she was born and needed two weeks on oxygen. My boys pregnancy was much easier, the worry was still there but after the births, it does take away some of the pain.

Fabiola - posted on 09/17/2010

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I am in the same situation. I got pregnant 4 months ago and I had a miscarriage i feel that i am really sad about my lost but I want other baby . My husband is really happy to try again but I am not sure.

Emily - posted on 09/16/2010

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I lost a baby boy still born and then got pregnant 2 weeks later the thought that i could lose this one terrified me, At that time my husband and i cried and talked , it made us closer, and altough its hard we made it through it. looking back i probable had a little postmartum going on too ,that happens. But now 28 years later i have a beautiful Girl healthy, and a healthy 23 year old son, sometimes it was not easy but you'll make it thru this, smile be happy for this one.

Carolina - posted on 09/15/2010

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It's extremely hard. I know this is easier said than done, but please try and enjoy this pregnancy. I lost my daughter at 19 weeks gestation over a year ago and found out I was pregnant again 5 months after the loss. The loss really devasted me and I didn't sleep (literally!) for about 6 weeks when I finally went to therapy. Upon finding out I was pregnant again, I was very, very nervous.... scared and excited, and needed additional therapy. My husband and I didn't tell anyone about the new pregnancy for 5 months until the doctors were sure that everything was going to be ok. Even after the doctors' reassurances, I was still nervous about everything and didn't get a chance to enjoy much of the pregnancy. We now have a very healthy baby boy who was born on April 10 this year. We are very fortunate after such a devasting loss and I really hope the same for you. Good luck with the pregnancy and believe that everything will be ok. I have to admit, I still have not completely gotten over the loss of my daughter and I don't think I ever will be, but I'm very grateful for my son. His presence saved me and our family after the grief of last year. All the best to you and your family!

Abby - posted on 09/11/2010

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It's hard and the worst part for me is the constant thought in the back of your mind that it could happen again. I got pregnant 3 mths after I lost Addelyn. I am now 5 mths pregnant with a healthy baby boy. I can feel him move and we are so grateful, however, it is hard not to worry and I still think of Addelyn all the time. Getting pregnant and seeing the baby in the ultrasound did help. I don't think its possible to ever be completely over a child, but moving on is helping tremendously. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Brandy - posted on 09/11/2010

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after the lost of my twins three years ago i wasn't sure of anything then almost two years later i had my wonderful son Darick he is now two. All i can say is talk with ur love ones and keep ur doctors close.

Kristin - posted on 09/10/2010

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I got pregnant with twins about 6 months after I lost my firstborn 5 days after he was prematurely born. I joined a bereavement group specific for moms who became pregnant after a loss, and it really helped me deal with my feelings. It's been nearly 6 years now for me (and I've had another baby since the twins) and I'm still very sad on his birthday and deathday and on Mother's Day...but I think about the Circle of Life and how all my children have a guardian angel up in Heaven. That helps me cope when I'm missing him the most.

Ericka - posted on 09/09/2010

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The same thing happened to me after I lost my son. I lost my son Elias on Oct 15,2008 and found out I was pregnant with my daughter Feb 3, 2009. It's definitely hard when you 1st find out. It does get easier once you have the baby. My daughter is now 10 months and still all I do is worry. It's still hard sometimes to get through my days without my son especially knowing that I'm missing out on so much. The only advice I have is to stay strong and know that your not alone. Congrats and stay strong

Kayla - posted on 09/09/2010

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i was pregnant with my 2nd child. it was a lil boy i was six months along he passed away, it sucks i wouldnt wish it on nobody

Stephanie - posted on 09/08/2010

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It's so hard but it does help you heal a little even though you will never ever be over it. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after my son passed away. It was difficult but I believe God gave me her to help me deal with my sons passing. I hope you look at your pregnancy as a blessing...

Sandra - posted on 09/08/2010

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I got pregnant about 6 months after the loss of my first daughter, who never came home from the hospital. I think I was in denial during the whole pregnancy or something. I had nothing ready for my second daughter when it was time to bring her home from the hospital. Luckily my sister showed up the day we came home and went to the store to get me diapers, wipes and the basics. In hindsight, I know that I didn't want to have to deal with all of that if this one had not been able to come home like the first. It was so hard. But, she is now 16 years old and doing great. She knows all about her "big" sister who lived only 10 days and we talk freely about her. Those first days though were pretty hard. Maybe you just need to plan to have someone supportive there for you when it's time for this one to be born. Best wishes.

Jennifer - posted on 09/08/2010

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my husband and I lost our son on Sept 29 of last year. He was born at just 20 weeks gestation, I found out (via home test) that I was pregnant on his expected due date the end of February. I am currently due in November. I won't tell you that it is easy, because by no accounts is it. I had a really hard time getting over that 20 week hump. What I can tell you that helped me out a lot was talking with my OB ... a LOT! I swear by the time this little miracle is born, he and I are going to be on a first name basis ... I'm starting to feel like I should invite him over for the holidays or something! LOL

Another thing that really helped me out, was being able to look forward to meeting this little one, it is REALLY hard (at least for me) to be sad when you are carrying a life within.

Best of luck ...
Jen

Heidi - posted on 09/07/2010

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Ironically I am in the same boat. I am aproximatly 7/8 weeks pregnant and I lost my baby Olivia in May. I am just trying to be positive and am staying in constant contact with my doctor. I hope that everything does work out for you, and that you have a heathly and happy baby.

Juliana - posted on 09/07/2010

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I am in the same boat as you right now. My daughter passed away in December and I found out I was pregnant in March. Im due in Nov. It has been an ups and downs pregnancy. I have had alot of anxiety. I also see a therapist to help me with some of my fears. It really seems to help. Stay positive, and congrats.

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