Pregnancy after child loss?

Germani - posted on 12/07/2012

My husband and I lost our first child, MaKayla on August 21, 2012 to complications from open heart surgery. Some days I want a baby while other days I am afraid. I am hoping we get to a point where we will have another child. We are not trying to replace MaKayla, I always knew that I was meant to be a mother. I got my chance with MaKayla, but not long enough. Mommy loves and misses you so much MaKayla.

Katie - posted on 05/12/2012

There is no way of telling, only you to tell you how long to wait and there is no getting threw it that pain will never go away it'll just ease with time. You'll never forget or stop caring or loving your little girl. I have been 14 monthes since I lost my son and we're in the same boat you are. We've been together almost 4 years now, we lost our first son Feb 2011 and it's just time for you to heal mentally and your body.But when you know you're ready, then you're ready. Hope everything works out, don't be afraid if you're ready, then fear will drive you crazy you'll know when it's time. We're planning for july! Wish you luck.

Christina - posted on 06/23/2010

I am so sorry for your loss and the memory will never fade, but every woman grieves differently. If you feel emotionally ready by the time your body is ready I would say go for it. I lost my son and 2 months later I was pregnant, unplanned. I am so happy that it happened that way. Getting pregnant and having my daughter I think helped me with the pain of my loss. Do what you feel you can handle and when your ready. ♥

Kristen - posted on 06/23/2010

Only you will know when you are ready to try again for another child. Every womans grieving is different after we lose a child, it also includes our husbands/partners grieving as well. I was ready to try again before my boyfriend was ready, but had to wait until we were both on the same page. We lost our son at 24 weeks due to pre-term labor that couldn't be stopped. It truly crumbles the world as you know it. That little man changed my life the moment I found out he was there, he always will be my little miracle. We lost him May of 2008. I am proud to say his little sister was born Dec. of 2009. Grief is a very personal thing, it wasn't easy for us. Make sure you are always there for each other, stay open with your feelings, cry and hold each other often. Your daughter will always live on in your hearts and in your love.

Jenni - posted on 06/23/2010

firsty sorry 4 your loss, my 1st little boy was stillborn its heart breakin and what hurt me the most was when people said 2 me u r young u can have more, he was born sleeping the 26th april 09 when he was buried i really wanted another baby not 2 replace him but becuase i wanted children i fell pregnant in the june 09 just 2 months after kenzie was born i was over the moon but also scared as i didnt want it happen agen it has made me a stronger person 2day but u r the only 1 that can say if your ready 2 have another baby, i got through it by sayin kenzie blessed me with his little brother that was born 1st april 2010 he keeps me strong 2day and i will tall him about his big brother when he is older

Eliza - posted on 06/22/2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son Jan 4th 2009 i have BC put in at my 6 wk appt it's been hard for me. i have the "phantom kicks" still i was 27 weeks pregnant and was enduced. We recently decided to try to give our daughter another sibling this past month. so we waited a yr and a half. only because i had severe health problems after delivery. I wish you luck in trying and keep us updated : )

Sherry - posted on 06/21/2010

My 8 child, Mary, was born "still" at approx. 39 wks. gest.--- perfect 9lb 8oz, 22 inch baby --- June 27/07 , my husband and I came together in prayer and I knew that God knew when I would be emotionally and physically ready. August 18/08 --- Isabella Glory Pink(story behind that name) was born --- at 9 lbs 8 oz, 22 inches.(how strange is that) --- Mary will never be replaced, she is and always will be her own person. Communication is the key and you will know when you are ready, does not necessarily make the next pregnancy stress free, but as all pregnancies, it will be "amazinly incredible !! God bless you and yours :)

Crystal - posted on 06/19/2010

first of all im so sorry for your loss
i had my son 1st march 2009 he was 12 weeks prem and we lost him due to health complications and i felt very much the same about wanting to add to my family but was scared of the pregnancy ending the same...after discussing my feelings with my partner we decided to leave things in fates hands as to when we would have another child...i fell pregnant again august of 2009 and gave birth to my daughter 8 weeks ago...i was worried about being judged for having my second child so soon after losing our son but me and my partner felt so ripped off after we lost Kane and we in no way were trying to replace him. we were already parents but we had no baby to raise

when you are ready try again..you will never forget your daughter and she will always be a big part of her future siblings lives

good luck with your future :)

Alana - posted on 06/18/2010

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My first baby daughter, Charli~Zeta was stillborn at full-term (40 weeks + 6 days) 3 December 2005 with no known reason. We had always planned to have our children close together and my heart was aching to hold my own baby and carry out the mother role that I missed out on doing with my first baby. We fell pregnant straight away and my baby daughter Meischarla Zeta (has a part of Charli~Zeta's name) was born October 2006. I requested to be induced at 38 weeks as I was too fearful of going overdue. I was induced by request also for my son Jhett born March 2008 and I had my daughter Azalia Pheonix by elective caesarian Febraury 2010 as she was breech and I had a cyst on my left ovary removed. I believe that whether you choose to have a baby now or wait, some level of fear and/or anxiety will be there in your next pregnancy. I actually found my thrid pregnancy the hardest as I felt so fortunate to have my second daughter and thus felt that I had perhaps used up all my goodluck in having my healthy daughter. I tried my best to enjoy each pregnancy and took them day by day...I knew I was doing everything right so if anything happened I had no control and thus would appreciate every minute that I did experience being pregnant...fortunately all other pregnancies did go well and I have 3 healthy gorgeous children to chase after and my beautiful angel Charli~Zeta is warm and cherished in my heart. Look after yourself, stay strong and know in your heart your beautiful Audrey will be watching over her brother and sister...you will know when the time is right! xx Charli~Zeta's first birthday/anniversary was very special and we celebrated with close family and friends by releasing a balloon each. Remember and cherish the memories that you shared in the pregnancy with your daughter and celebrate/honour her in ways that have meaning to you. Regardless of our family and friends telling us we needed to give ourselves time to heal (doctors told us we were fine to try straight away) we knew what was right for us and it was the best decision for us...our next child certainly did not replace our beautiful Charli~Zeta and we talk of her often, think of her always and we have photos of her around the home just as we do the other children. Goodluck and all the best for the future xx

Alana - posted on 06/18/2010

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My first baby daughter, Charli~Zeta was stillborn at full-term (40 weeks + 6 days) 3 December 2005 with no known reason. We had always planned to have our children close together and my heart was aching to hold my own baby and carry out the mother role that I missed out on doing with my first baby. We fell pregnant straight away and my baby daughter Meischarla Zeta (has a part of Charli~Zeta's name) was born October 2006. I requested to be induced at 38 weeks as I was too fearful of going overdue. I was induced by request also for my son Jhett born March 2008 and I had my daughter Azalia Pheonix by elective caesarian Febraury 2010 as she was breech and I had a cyst on my left ovary removed. I believe that whether you choose to have a baby now or wait, some level of fear and/or anxiety will be there in your next pregnancy. I actually found my thrid pregnancy the hardest as I felt so fortunate to have my second daughter and thus felt that I had perhaps used up all my goodluck in having my healthy daughter. I tried my best to enjoy each pregnancy and took them day by day...I knew I was doing everything right so if anything happened I had no control and thus would appreciate every minute that I did experience being pregnant...fortunately all other pregnancies did go well and I have 3 healthy gorgeous children to chase after and my beautiful angel Charli~Zeta is warm and cherished in my heart. Look after yourself, stay strong and know in your heart your beautiful Audrey will be watching over her brother and sister...you will know when the time is right! xx Charli~Zeta's first birthday/anniversary was very special and we celebrated with close family and friends by releasing a balloon each. Remember and cherish the memories that you shared in the pregnancy with your daughter and celebrate/honour her in ways that have meaning to you. Regardless of our family and friends telling us we needed to give ourselves time to heal (doctors told us we were fine to try straight away) we knew what was right for us and it was the best decision for us...our next child certainly did not replace our beautiful Charli~Zeta and we talk of her often, think of her always and we have photos of her around the home just as we do the other children. Goodluck and all the best for the future xx

Victoria - posted on 06/18/2010

i lost my 1st child a son he was still born at 39 weeks and 4 days he was born on the 10th of november 2003 then i had my second son who was born healthy on the 9th of september 2004 10 months apart i was 19 when i had my stillborn son jack and we did what your sayig my second son is called connor jack after his brother he will never relpace jack connor is special in his own right but i say when you feel ready for it then go for it i felt i was ready straight away but i understand that other people will be different but been pregnant with connor kept me going i think i had connor in the same hospital next door to the room in which i had jack as well with the same midwife because thats how i wanted it but when your ready menatlly go for it i did and i niw have another 2 little boys hope this helps xx

Nikki - posted on 06/18/2010

I am sorry abt the loss of your little Angel Audrey. You are right in saying that you need to wait for your body and mind to heal. People deal with death in very different ways and you may be able to bounce right back, but my advice is to wait @ least a yr for the healing of both mind and body. In ref to honoring your next daughter with Audrey's name as her middle name, I think that is wonderful and sweet. I did the same thing with my son and in a sense it made me feel like a part of him was living on! They are exactly 2yrs and 2mths apart, my son that passed was June 26, 2003 & my son that is living was born Aug 26, 2005. Take care of yourself and please think abt beginning the healing process 1st b4 you try again. Good luck

Lisa - posted on 06/11/2010

I'm so sorry for your loss!!
My first child, a daughter I named Gracie, was stillborn in February 2006. My partner & I decided to try for another child straight away, & were blessed with our first son in March 2007. He hasn't replaced the daughter I lost & I still think about her everyday, but he did help my broken heart to heal!! He has been my little saviour & kept me going through the hardest times.
I'm now pregnant with our second son, due in 2 weeks. Pregnancy is always difficult after a loss but you just have to hope for the best, be as strong as can be, & get through each day.
I would have loved to have a daughter, but don't know if my partner & I will have any more children. The pregnancies are very stressful times for us both. But I'll never say never!! I also said if I had another daughter her middle name would be Grace after her older sister too.
Good luck with whatever you decide in the future.

Kerrin - posted on 06/11/2010

I'm sorry for your loss.
My husband & I have been married almost 7 years, we're both in our early 30's & have suffered a miscarriage @ 6 weeks & our daughter arrived stillborn @ 36 weeks in Jan 09.
We wanted to TTC again as soon as possible, after the 12 weeks when our OB said it was alright but we've had to wait medically (I had surgery last October & am still having complications).
I was frustrated & upset that we'd had to wait but now, we both feel that having to wait, it has prepared us more for our next pregnancy. We've gotten through all our 'firsts' - we found out our baby was brain dead Christmas Eve so the holiday season was horrible - & although we miss our daughter every day, we now have some good days as well.
We know that next time around, we're going to be anxious until we get to 20 weeks (I have to have scans every 3 weeks until then & then once a month until delivery) & even then we won't feel we can breath until she or he is born safely but we have discussed it & are going to try not to compare pregnancies to our last one.

Sharyn - posted on 06/08/2010

You will know when the time is right...

when you have that feeling that you want to be pregnant again and have another child.

i miscarried at 10 weeks and yet i know that i didnt give birth to my child, i still felt their loss powerfully ....

Nicole - posted on 06/08/2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. Loss of a child is so devastating and yet each day gets just the tiniest bit easier. Each woman is different as to how much time she needs to heal. I know that after my losses I didn't want to wait too long to try again, partly due to my age, I'm almost 38 now, but also because after 3 healthy children I didn't want to end my childbearing years with the loss of twins and another baby as we did.
My Andrew is almost 16 months old now and he was conceived just 2 months after the most recent loss. The entire pregnancy we were scared that something would go wrong but he was fine and although he came early, he was perfect. Now, a year later I still sometimes hug him tight knowing what we went through to have him and that his birth has helped us to heal from our loss.
I'm due to have another baby soon and I'll tell you, this one has been no different, scary because I keep waiting to find something wrong, but so far we've been lucky.
Best of luck to you, I think you'll know in your heart when you're ready.

Shalah - posted on 06/06/2010

My first baby was stillborn at 29 weeks back in April of 1992. She wasn't planned, but her loss was devastating. I know how you must feel. I have gone on to have five healthy kids, and the first one I worried and wondered if something would go wrong. But when she was born, healthy and perfect, I got back my confidence as a woman. I was so afraid I would never be able to accomplish it! After my 5th was born, I went on birth control for several years, then convinced my partner to have another baby with me. We stopped the bc and it took us 3 years to conceive. I lost that baby at 11 weeks. As sad as it made me, it only made me want a baby more. So I started trying again as soon as my body would let me. I'm now in my 2nd trimester, due in December, and I still feel sad for the earlier loss, and know nothing could replace that baby, but it is a great consolation that my new little one is on its way to my arms. I guess what I'm saying is, if you are still wanting a baby and are physically and mentally ready, go ahead and try. Nothing can replace her, and no one will think you are trying to. But you may find the joy of the new baby will help ease the sadness. If you are ready, go ahead and try.

Amy - posted on 06/06/2010

I'm so sorry for ur loss. although it may never get better, u will get stronger and be ok. i lost my daughter in august of 2006. i had my son in july of 2007. if u think u are ready, then go for it. of course she will never be replaced... but u do need something to fill the void. good luck with ur future! and please, keep in touch!