pregnant again ... trying to stay optimistic.

Krystyl - posted on 12/29/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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last year on October 11th I had to get a D&C done when a routine checkup with my OB/GYN yielded no heartbeat. 14 months later (December 19th)I took a HPT that yielded positive results.
I was so exited and nervous I almost threw up .
I started taking pre-natal vitamins that day and went to see my family doctor on the 20th
he did a urine sample to confirm and sent a referral to my OB/GYN (I am high risk because I am diabetic and my family doc has very little knowledge of diabetic pregnancies) we figured out I was about 5 weeks and 6 days. My referral was accepted and I found out my appointment will not be until jan 25th ... I will be almost 3 months pregnant.
I started out pretty optimistic, but now I am having very high doubts about this pregnancy,
I fear it will be a re-peat of last time which was incredibly traumatic and painful for both me and my husband. Because my M/C was so subtle last time (I didn't have any clue that I had m/c'd until my 2nd ultrasound at 11 weeks)
I had no cramping, no spotting no nothing.
I won't...CAN'T spend the next whole month not knowing. it's killing me. it's gotten to the point where, though having a child and being a mother is my highest ambition in life, I don't even want to think about this pregnancy. every time I think of a potential name or cute baby bedding set I chastise myself for getting my hopes up.
anyone else going through this? any suggestions?

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Lorraine - posted on 01/07/2011

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it can be hard to stay positive because i am pregnant again after having a loss before this one, i am now 35 weeks pregnant and even this one came with problems i had bleeding for the first 3 months, so from around 6 weeks i just could not get my hopes up either but i still did take my pre vitamins to be on the safe side. it took till about 5 months for me to start getting a bit more relaxed and yes from there i have started to feel the kicks witch helps, it's only now with 5 weeks to go that i have painted the room and started to buy things for my girl. i wish you good luck with the pregnancy and try to just take each day at a time & not to think about it to much. even with me with every scan i went to i went there and didn't have my hopes up until they said that there was still a heart beat. i will keep my best wishes for you and i x my fingers that our baby's will be with us in our arms.

Jennifer - posted on 01/01/2011

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I lost my little boy at 36 weeks on May 23 2009, I also had no spotting, no cramping, no nothing... I gave birth to my second beautiful little boy on November 10, 2010. The only thing harder than having a baby that has already passed away is being pregnant after something like that. I know just how you feel! LONGEST NINE MONTHS OF MY LIFE! I got a baby doppler from baby beat.com it helped me through those long periods between Doctor appointments in the first and second trimester. After I started feeling him kick I was less interested in hearing the heart beat and more about the kicks. I was crazy about his kicks, I would cry and lie on my left side while I held my belly and stared at the clock! I know just how you feel about not being about to picture him/her in your life just yet! With my first pregnancy I imagined him running around the house, hugging me, so on and with my second pregnancy all I could think about was his health right now! That's as far as I could go! It was sad at first but I found ways to bond with him. I wrote him letters. VERY HELPFUL TO ME! After I started writing him letter before I knew it we had bonded and he had a name! Carter Anthony Losh!!! I am telling you now this will be the second hardest thing you have ever done but like you said all you have ever wanted was to be a mother! You gotta do what you gotta do! You will be SUPER mom after all this is said and done! Keep your mind busy and make sure you have someone you can talk to about all these worries becasue it's not healthy to hold it all in! Remember to take time out of your day to relax thats the best thing you can do for your baby!!! Just relax and think happy thoughts...even if they aren't about the baby...maybe thats what you need to do to relax! Make sure you have confidence in your Doctor!!!!! If you don't get a new one now!!! You will not want to switch later!! Once you hold that beautiful baby in your arms this nine months will seem like nothing!!! I always tell people Carter saved my life! They have no idea how true that statement really it!!!
Good luck and keep your chin up!!

Tanya - posted on 12/31/2010

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if you call your local hospital and ask for the referal department they can give you the names of high risk doctors....if you call them and explain to them what happened last time and your current medical conditions they will get you in asap.....good luck and if it helps you out on your peace of mind put off thinking about baby items or names till you are 5 months then start out little by little......prayers are with you

Hazel - posted on 12/31/2010

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Hi Krystyl, I'm so sorry about what you and your husband went through last year; I can understand how you feel as I lost a baby full term around the same time and am also pregnant now (3mths). Well done for getting through the last 14mths and congratulations on your new pregnancy. I was also nervous before my first scan at 7 wks and my recent second scan, and will continue to be worried until this baby is safely born and in my arms. However, it won't do the baby any good if I'm stressing all the time and getting high blood pressure so am trying to stay calm and positive. I don't allow myself to look too far ahead and am not buying anything this time but just taking one day at a time, and I guess if it's meant to be then it will be. It helps if you can keep yourself occupied and you could maybe try some meditation or yoga to calm your nerves? I hope everything is ok at your appointment and you will be more closely monitored after that so you'll hopefully be more assured during the rest of your pregnancy. It would be good to hear how you get on. All the best.x

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