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Pregnant and again and I seem to expect the same thing to happen again...I need advice

Miranda - posted on 02/25/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

So I lost my son about 4 years ago. I had placenta previa and started to hemorrhage so they did an emergency c-section at 24 weeks. Our little angel lived 19 days. I am now 18 weeks pregnant, which is around the same time when I had the first bleeding incidents with the other pregnancy. I seem to keep planning in my head for the same thing to happen. I can't seem to shake the feeling that this pregnancy will be the same as the first. This pregnancy has actually been completely different in almost every way. I have an appt. for an anatomy scan and we will see the position of the placenta on Mar. 2 so hopefully everything is ok. I also find myself feeling guilty because I am so excited about this pregnancy (this pregnancy was planned and the other wasn't) and with Domanick I was worried most of the time about things like money. Last time I also worked full time and this time I haven't worked at all. I wonder if I had quit my job the first time maybe we would have our baby with us now. Has anyone else had this happen and how did you deal with it?

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Paula - posted on 02/27/2009

343

Miranda- good luck with your pregnancy...you deserve it....I know you may be nervous....but as everyone has mentioned.....have positive thoughts, get a therapist and do all that is medically possible...and the rest is up to the higher power.

I am trying to get pregnant....but all those thoughts you are having....I too am thinking them before it even gets hear....I think it is the nature of moms....to always think the worst will happen.

stay cool....and talk to us....we are here.

Miranda - posted on 02/27/2009

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. This has helped me a lot!! I seem to be doing better. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who is very patient and understanding. He has been so supportive and, while he's worried too, he's has been my rock. Thank you all again for your posts, you don't know how much it has helped me to see the things I have been trying to tell myself. It makes it a little easier to believe everything is going to be ok!

Laura - posted on 02/27/2009

i lost my son on the 20th sept 2007 and fell pregnant 3 months later . i took the opposite approach . 'It couldnt happen again' . i think anyone who's gone through a neonatal loss would be afraid . second guessing themselves . 'what if i had done just one thing differently' . I firmly believe now that everything happens for a reason . Just love your baby and you can get through anything x good luck pet x

Stephanie - posted on 02/26/2009

i just found out i was pregnant today and i had a miscarriage over the summer. i understand.. i have spent the whole day imagining every ache to be something horrible! all we can do is the best we can and leave the rest in Gods hands.. i will pray for you..good luck

Kristin - posted on 02/25/2009

I lost my first son, Evan, to SIDS when he was 4 1/2 months old and found out I was pregnant again shortly after died. I know it is not the same situation but I had many of the same feelings you are describing. Thinking about things you might have done before to change things doesn't help you heal. You didn't do anything wrong. This time you and you doctors can take every precaution to keep you and your baby safe. My son Brent is now 7 months old and doing well. I am thankful for him everyday but I miss Evan everyday as well. Good luck with everything

Lee - posted on 02/25/2009

hi there, I am currently in the same spot pregnant and expecting the world to crash around me. living on the line of happy and sad. But I would have to say talk to a trusted friend family member, or get a therapist that specializes in what you are looking for, that is the best help cry over the baby you loved and lost, and smile and be happy for the one your pregnant with. It okay to feel both emotions in your life. Is your husband still in the military, mine in the airforce. if you would like to talk to someone with out the stress of feeling like you are being a burden. I am here. And we can get through this together with many blessing headed your way. I promise they will come.

Lolly_loulou - posted on 02/25/2009

214

i was exactly the same. i lost three babies throe three miscarriages and on every single one including the fourth pregnancy with which i got my little girl of 10 weeks. i kept getting images in my head of how the pregnancy would end. when it would end.. i was a nervous wreck. becoz all my pregnancies ended by the 3 month mark.. even when i had managed to get to the 5 month on my last pregnancy i still had them. you just have to keep calm, be positive, good luck

Sarah - posted on 02/25/2009

You did not do anything wrong! Working did not cause you to lose your baby, I'm sure. I know how very hard it is to feel strong and secure during pregnancy after losing a baby but you are doing everything you can to make sure you have a healthy pregnancy and baby. It's normal to worry and anticipate the same thing going wrong. Try to keep your thoughts positive! Also, like I told Libby, counseling can help so much! I could not have gotten through my pregnancy without my counselor's support. If you aren't seeing anyone already, you really should.

Libby - posted on 02/25/2009

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I just lost my baby in December and just found out I am 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. I am scared too. I think that is normal for us. Good luck, I hope you have a good outcome this time.