Dana - posted on 05/22/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )
My son died at 11 weeks after birth. He was NOT pre-mature, he was PERFECTLY healthy. He was my 1st born and I can't get away from the guilt. I live everyday thinking I could have somehow prevented this, everyone tells me I couldn't have. He would have been 4 this March and since I have had 2 daughters. I can't even have a bday party or holiday with my girls without tearing up thinking of him, and how old he would be or what he would be doing. Most of my fam. and friends don't ever speak of him, I know it's because they think I will get upset. They all loved him very much and I know that. My husband rarely even speaks of him, but I know he hurts so much. I guess I'm just confused because the pain and guilt is still very much there.