The 1st Birthday after his death.

Aunt Betty - posted on 02/24/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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yesterday was to be my sons 26th birthday, he died 6 weeks after his 25th birthday, yesterday was like the day he died, I went into that tunnel and everyone seemed so far away, although many friends and family showed up at his resting place and we stood around and told stories of him and lit candles, recited poems and sang happy birthday, I felt so distant from all. I have 2 other adult children my children are great loving people and I have always loved each one for themselves, each one was special to me for who they were, nothing or no one can fill that void that is in my heart. I miss my son so much.

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Diane - posted on 03/20/2014

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My son 25th Birthday will be Saturday the 22nd. I can not even think about it without crying. He died last June in a swimming accident. My nephew Noah birthday party is Saturday he will be one years old. But I don't think I am not going to go I don't want to ruin his party by crying or just not being myself,
I feel bad cause he lives an hour away and I haven 't seen since his sister birthday in November.

Cindy - posted on 01/04/2014

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To lose a child is worst thing a parent can endure. Betty I am so sorry for your loss. Some days will be better than others but in my opinion the birthdays are the hardest. May 7th will be the third birthday since my son took his life. He would have turned 23. Sending e-hugs your direction!!

[deleted account]

January 11th will be my son's 34th birthday. He passed away January 18th, 2013 one week after his 33rd. I never got to celebrate with him and didn't get to say goodbye. This year will be so hard for me. I miss him more than workds can ever say. He died of a brain anerysm.

Germani - posted on 12/08/2012

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My daughter's birthday is 1 month and 8 days after her death date. I was still in shock since she had only passed a month and 8 days prior. We never got to give her a birthday party.

User - posted on 06/23/2012

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Sarah, I am so sorry. I truly know what you are feeling. We are getting ready to celebrate Kevin's birthday again next Friday, June 29th. We will do what we did last year because it just felt so right. We have Kevin's ashes in a niche at the Mausoleum at the cemetery. That's what we felt we wanted to do. I personally couldn't fathom spreading his ashes somewhere. I really like going to "visit" him, as do other friends and family memebers. So last year on his birthday, I got yellow roses and yellow balloons. My husband, son, daughter-in-law, grandson and I participated. We placed the roses in the little urn attached to his niche and then went outside and released the balloons. It was a clear afternoon and the yellow balloons against the blue sky was an amazing sight. Everyone is different and what feels right to one might be totally different for another. I hope you will find what gives you the most comfort and peace.

If you would like to communicate further privately, let me know. I have made a lot of friends who share the same pain we have. There's comfort in knowing others understand.

User - posted on 06/23/2012

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Marti, what did you decide to do? My son died suddenly on December 20, 2011. He was the light of my life and at first I did not even want to even go on living myself. I still haven't spread his ashes. Perhaps I feel that would be so "final"?
Tomorrow (June 24th) would have been his 30th birthday and in my heart I know he would not want me to spend the day grieving him, but I simply don't know what to do. Sarah

Marti - posted on 06/25/2011

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Aunt Betty, I am so sorry for your loss. My son passed away suddenly on April 5, 2011. His 31st birthday is coming up on June 29th. I am not sure what we should do on that day - honor it or do something completely different. I have never known such profound pain. Thank you for the poem, Aunt Betty, I will cherish it.

Ashley - posted on 11/01/2010

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im soo sry bout ur son. i lost my son in aug dut to sids. he was four months n four days old. dosent matter how old ur child is the pain of losing them is horrible.

Angie - posted on 10/25/2010

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A year ago tomorrow, i was being rushed in for a emergency c-section at 26 weeks with twin boys. They were born 10/26/2009 @ 911 in the morning. Andrew was the first and Brody was the second to be born. After 45 minutes of doctors trying to stablize Andrew, he passed away. His lungs weren't strong enough. Brody is now getting ready for his 1st birthday tomorrow and i am completely lost. I am so excited to celebrate his miracle year of life after having heart and eye surgeries it is a miracle that he is turning one tomorrow. But i can help but be so mad at the same time, that while i am celebrating one's brithday and his life that i am some how doing something wrong. I am dreading tomorrow

Aunt Betty - posted on 03/14/2010

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someone sent me this poem, so I took it and put it on a scrapbook page with a picture of my dad, brother and my son, I read it everyday and it gives me comfort....
"I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and the days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I will never part. GOD has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart." (author unknown)

Aunt Betty - posted on 03/14/2010

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Oh Cheryl, I would hug you right now if I could, I like that Idea, something that keeps the memory going, thank you for sharing....

Aunt Betty - posted on 03/14/2010

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Cassie, that is beautiful, I want to do something nice for someone in my sons name, it gives me great sense of peace, thank you for sharing that...I will let you know what I come up with.

Cheryl - posted on 02/27/2010

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My story is a little different...I lost my daughter at 4 months old of an upper respritory infection. She will have been two years old in June, but her first birthday was very hard. I became very withdrawn and wasn't myself for quite sometime before and after what would have been her first birthday. I started a tradition that day of putting an angel on her grave for every holiday or event after that. They are tied to a flower stand and it doesn't heal the pain, but it makes going to the grave that much more special for me. She now has three angels, one for her first birthday, one for Christmas, and one for Valentine's Day.

Cassie - posted on 02/25/2010

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I know, I know. It has been two years for me and he would've been 21. The 1st one was the worst! I found it even harder than his death anniversary or Christmas. This last one was better. My family and I got 60 one-dollar bills and put little stickers that said, "Today would've been Duane's 21st birthday but he died of an heroin overdose on January 16, 2008. A happy year to you from Duane's family. Live well." We went downtown at night and passed them out to individuals and then gave a lot of them to the women's shelter. It made us feel happy. Maybe next year will be better for you, too. But it's true what you say, no one can take his place ever.

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