Toni - posted on 02/16/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )
has anyone else told themselves that their child was the meaning for their life? since Owen james was born May 25th 2009- Ive told myself that he is the meaning for and of my life- because i didnt finish school and have no real future plan for myself- I comforted myself i think by telling myself that he is my reason, that I shall put all i have into loving and raising him. He passed away Jan 30th 2010 -he was 8 months -unexpectedly from a complication from pnuemonia... he also had a seizure disorder called infantile spasms- which I had just come to terms with- and had begun to accept that Owen was my special lil boy- which made me believe even more that he was my reason for being here.. to protect him, advocate for him, and make sure he got the best life and medical care possible. .... either way... the point of this story is...I dont know what to do with myself now... my meaning, my little love is gone, and im at a loss of who I am supposed to be... or how to go on, get by...Im willing to accept my grief and grieve openly now... but what after... its just so confusing and overwhelming to have your life suddenly so drastically altered. as im sure many of you know... but how do u deal..when ur meaning is challenged so?