Thinking of naming a start after my son, what do you think?

Jemma - posted on 03/16/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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In june it will be three years since we losted our son Bradley, We been thinking of ideas on how to celebrate his speical day, like to do something different every year if we can. This year will be the first year that we have brother for Bradley and want to be able to do something to include him in Bradley's day. Was thinking of naming a start after Bradley, so that theres was always something there for us to look for and be able to share with his silbings and make it easier for them to try to understand when we say something like "Bradleys in heaven" etc. What do you think? I like the idea but so people including family memebers dont like the idea too much, not sure what to do.

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[deleted account]

Jemma,
According to the book, the International Star Registry has been naming stars since 1979:
"The star kit includes a certificate, a telescope coordinated for locating the named star, a large sky chart with the star circled for easy identification, an astromony booklet, and a memorial letter."
The authors recommend purchasing the kit through MISS, Mothers in Sympathy and Support, because part of the proceeds will be donated to MISS and the Arizona SIDS Alliance. The Web site address is www.misschildren.org.
I have never gone to the site myself, and I don't know how much it costs. Perhaps you could let us know what you learn. I think it's exciting!

Kitty - posted on 03/19/2010

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Our situation is a little different than most of the mother's who post on this site. Our son, David, was 24 when he was killed in a car accident 8 years ago. What we do on the anniversary of his death and on his birthday is have what we call "Funny David" day. David had a very quirky sense of humor and had a lot of friends. So on those 2 days we tell everyone we come across that day who knew David (a few who didn't) that we're celebrating David's life this day and to please tell a funny (or memorable) David story to someone and remember David and laugh. That way he won't be forgotten and will live on--not just in our lives but in the lives of his friends as well. And in this way he can continue to touch others even though he's not here with us. God bless all of you who lost your children so young. My heart breaks for you as you were unable to have the time that I had with my son.

Kerrin - posted on 03/19/2010

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I think it's a lovely idea:) I wouldn't worry if other family members don't like it, as long as you guys are happy with the idea & think it's okay, that's all that matters.

Dawn - posted on 03/18/2010

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Jemma that is a wonderful idea.. I did that for a friend of mine a few years ago to celebrate her daughter's "Angel Day"(day she died) as we call it.. It is one of those things you will always have and that is precious.. I would not take what family members say too much to heart, after all this is your baby and how you celebrate his life is up to you, husband, and children..
Our 2nd child Joshua died of SIDS 15 years ago and each year we do something new to honor him.. 12 years after his birth our 3rd child Matthew was born, on the exact same day and time as Joshua! So when Matthew turned 3 last year we started making him an active part in the decision making process as to what to do for Joshua..

Paula - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hi, I think that is wonderfull, leaving a legacy for the younger brother to realize he is truely not alone, that he has an older brother watching over him....

Jemma - posted on 03/16/2010

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Hi, thank you Kathy & Lorelie for your comments, Kathy - i am very interested on the information on how to do it offically, thank you

[deleted account]

Lorelei,

The book that has the different ideas in it, like naming a star after a loved one, is "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" written by Brook Noel and Palema D. Blair PhD. While I found this book helpful in recognizing the post-traumatic stress symptoms I was going through due to the sudden loss of Shyla, I found another book even more helpful. "How to Survive the Loss of a Child" is written by Catherine M. Sanders, a clinical psychologist, who lost her 16-year-old son in a boating accident.

Lorelei - posted on 03/16/2010

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Kathy,

If you've found that book particularly helpful, I'd be curious to know the name of it and who the author is.

Thanks!

Lorelei

[deleted account]

I agree with Lorelei that naming a star after Bradley is a great idea. In fact, I have a book with different ideas for parents who have lost a child and naming a star after your child is in there. I told my husband and son about it, and they liked the idea for my daughter, Shyla. I have some contact information for checking into how to do it "officially" if you are interested.

Lorelei - posted on 03/16/2010

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It's a wonderful idea. Are you familiar with the Eskimo legend? "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy." ~ Eskimo Legend ---- Its a favorite of mine, how sweet it would be to incorporate the naming of a star with a beautiful "feel good" phrase.

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