to all of us grieving moms

Kathy - posted on 03/16/2010

Elizabeth - Your words about Isabella, imagining her actions, looks and voice touched me. I do the same thing with Shyla, who was 23 when she left us. She was going to be a movie director. We had talked about how it was a male-dominated field and no woman had ever won an oscar for directing. When the gal who directed Hurt Locker broke the mold last weekend and became the first female director to win for directing, I wanted to talk to Shyla so bad. I imagined her smile and excitement that the "glass ceiling" was broken for women in the field she was passionate about. It would have given her a boost to finish out this semster (she would have been a junior in college). I'm glad to have people who don't mind when I speak my daughter's name and talk about her dreams, now a memory. It makes most people uncomfortable, and I wish it didn't. I want my daughter to remain alive in my heart and memories. God bless all of you!

Katie - posted on 03/14/2010

I too cry everytime I visit this group and read everyone else's experiences but it is good to let off some steam (tears) and reconnect rather than have the grief build up in isolation. It is also inspiring to read how our lives are all blossoming and strengthening bit by bit at different stages beyond the tragedy that has touched our hearts. Thanks

Elizabeth - posted on 03/12/2010

I lost my little girl Isabella at just 6 days old from a heart defect. Her fourth birthday will be on the 19th of April. I have since given birth to a beautiful,healthy little girl that just turned two. Having another child after a loss does not take the pain away or by any means replaces the child that you lost. Chloe has brought so much joy to my life and I thank the Lord for every day but sometimes its SO hard when I look at her and all I see is Isabella, Especially because theyre almost identical. Everyday I wonder what she would look like, what kind of cute things she would say, What she would like to play. I just miss her dearly. Just wanted to let you mommies that just experienced loss that the pain will linger in your heart forever but it DOES get easier. Sorry guys if I am rambling, Its been a while since I have expressed my grief. Everyone thank you for sharing your stories, I feel much better now to know that I am not alone and that I have somewhere to go when I need to talk about my angel. ♥

Cathy - posted on 03/12/2010

thank you Meridith, no you are never alone, it's been 9 yrs. in August and I still feel Jon with me all the times, sometimes I could swear he's right behind me, I find that so comforting. And me and I'm sure all the other moms that have lost children, we're all in the same boat, supporting each other.

Myra - posted on 03/11/2010

I lost my seventeen year old son in December 2007. He said "bye mom" as he walked out the front door to walk to his school bus stop, that was the last time I saw him alive. He was killed instantly by a driver who lost control of the car. This happened right around the corner from my house. It was the worst day of my life. I have since moved,and don't know what to do with his belongings. My friend packed up his things and I have not bothered to sort anything out, it's like I don't want to experience this tremendous overwhelming heartache that comes with the flood of memories. I really don't recall much of what transpired the past two years. It has been very difficult, I do have two other wonderful boys and honestly they keep me going. I can't wait for the day see my son again to hug and kiss him. All the little things that I took for granted, boy I only wish to have the opportunity to relive those moments. I miss his steps coming up from behind me to scare, miss his smell, his laughter, his way of asking for things, his touch, his kisses, his playful mood, his stories, the way he interacted with his brothers, my son the one I procreated, he is gone now and what I have left are pictures, memories(flashbacks) his things left untouched and it's the worst feeling ever for a mother to suffer like this.(i also still receive mail in his name, boy that causes a reaction that I can't control.. I CRY) I suffer and grieve quietly for the sake of my spouse, my kids... I do a lot of pretending. I feel tired all the time and feel the emptiness within me. I try to remain strong and sometimes I wonder how different it all would have been. He was an honor student all throughout his hs years, an avid tennis player, part of the theatre and chorus group, and was a lifeguard. Just the night before we were selecting the design for his hs ring. It is very painful to think "what if". I ask myself many questions that are left unanswered. Sorry for the errors, the first time I write this down.

Rose Claire - posted on 03/11/2010

we all know how painful it is... now i know im not the only one whos grieving for the lost of my son... theres so many moms like me who take it bravely.... and it really a great help for me... youre like a family or best friend that i can lean on...

Delma - posted on 03/10/2010

i lost my daughter when she was 2 yrs and 6 mos old. it will be her birth anniv next month, 5th of april. she would be 14... the pain of losing her is still here...i still miss her...

Delina - posted on 03/10/2010

i felt the same thanks for sharing

Nicola - posted on 03/10/2010

I'm glad I found this group, but I'm not, if you know what I mean. Every time I log on and read your stories I cry - for me and everyone else! Losing my little girl has broken my heart, and whilst we are all unique in our circumstances and the relationships we had with our angels, it helps to know that I am not alone and that others understand my pain. Our eldest daughter left us only 5 months ago so 2e are only just at the start of the struggle of trying to build a different life for the sake of our younger daughter but it's just so hard without her! Nobody should have to go through this!

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

I completely agree, I felt so alone when I lost my second son and I felt like no one understood what I was going through. Connecting with other moms who have been in my position has helped so much in the healing process.

Whitney - posted on 03/10/2010

Knowing you aren't alone was the one thing that got me through the hardest time. xo

Jessika - posted on 03/09/2010

The pain that is in my heart I thought no one would understand, not even my husband who went thru the loss of our son with me. When I joined this group, I realized that there are other mom's out there who understand my pain, and know what to say to help the pain. I completly know what you mean. I feel like this group is like a large family, one that I wish none of us had to know, but I am so happy that it is here for us!

Kathy - posted on 03/09/2010

I agree, Meredith.