Trying again....

Brittany - posted on 12/20/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi, I had a m/c at 8weeks on october 17th....I really took this hard...We have been trying ever since..we have been doing the "deed" everyother day(they say that is the best way to get pregnant fast) I have been taking my vitaims...as silly as it may seem i even leave my feet/legs/bottom/ in the air for about 3-5mins after we have sex......but still i keep getting my period...im really starting to lose faith.....everytime i think i am pregnant i start like two days later,then i get depressed. I know they say try to not try but when you want something so bad you cant just put it out of your mind....
What has really made it hard on me is that my step sister is due 6 days before i was suppost to be due so i hear all about her pregnancy and it makes it hard because i am suppost to be right along with her......I feel like i am such a bad person for feeling this way....

Any advice you can give me would be great!!!

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Krystyl - posted on 12/29/2010

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I am very sorry for your loss and my situation this time last year was very similar to yours, my best friend (I am now her sons godmother) and I were due about 3 months apart and it was very hard for me to see her happy, healthy son knowing I would never get to meet mine.
i know it may be hard to wait, but you should wait until about 3 months after you m/c to try again ... to get your cycle back on track. ...at very least you should allow yourself to get your period twice.
though it may be hard to wait, trying again so soon may, in the end cause more grief, as if you do fall pregnant, yo may have a hard time deciphering when your last period was and your estimations on how far along you actually are... as well as if your cycle does not resume some type of normalcy, you may need to be check out further, as sometimes, tissue from the M/C may be left over, giving you false positives, then, when you get another period, you may think you are m/c'ing again.
best of luck to you in getting pregnant again

Brandi - posted on 12/27/2010

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First I would like to say I'm sorry for your loss. It is always hard no matter what stage you loss you child. For me I lost my daughter 11-06-10 at 34wks. This has proven itself to be the hardest thing I have ever went through in my life. I also have a best friend who was due just 11 days after me, She had her son just 7 days ago. It has been hard to know that we should be experiencing all the joys of a new baby together,as you feel with your step sister. But I'm happy for her, I would not wish this pain on anyone. We to have decided to try for another baby sometime after March. Which my doctor said would be fine,but not to try any sooner then that so we could possibly avoid a loss early on. They do recommend that you wait for a few cycles after a loss to get you body back to "normal". It will happen for you just give it time.Try not to stress which is easier said then done. This is a great place to put your thoughts out there and talk to others who are dealing with the same things. I wish you all the luck, I hope this helps! :)

Jamie - posted on 12/20/2010

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I am so sorry for your loss. My daughter Sarah was stillborn at 21 weeks due to a cord accident on May 29, 2010 and my husband and I decided to try again back in August and I just found out on Saturday that I am 4 weeks pregnant. I was starting to lose faith as well in getting pregnant but I believe that everything happens for a reason. You will be blessed with a beautiful baby! I hope that you get pregnant very soon.....*baby dust* your way! As for your step sister being pregnant and due close to your due date I was in the same situation. My daughter Sarah was due Oct 5, 2010 and my sister in law had her baby girl on Sept 9, 2010 and my other sister in law had her baby boy on Nov 9,2010. It has been so hard being surrounded by babies that it made me wanna try harder. After my nephew was born I was ready to give up and stop trying and as soon as we stopped trying and just started "having fun" I got pregnant. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! God bless you all!

Julie - posted on 12/20/2010

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Hi Brittany, I have had a m/c when i was about 6 weeks and did not find out till I went to the doc. I have been told by several people that after a m/c that you need to take a break bc it is not good on the body as what iv heard. I guess it leads to higher rate of having another. So how long has it been since the m/c? i know its hard to talk about it. My man and I were at it like rabbits when we found out. However, when I was able to relax and not stress as much and we had less sex. load and behold I am preg again it took about 6 months before I was able too. I went through the same of wanting to be preg, but it just was not happening. So what I would say is maybe wait a little while which I know can be very hard, but if you want to keep trying to do the deed less often and let your body recover from what has happen and relax which again i know is hard. Give it time and I am sure you will be blessed.

I wish you all the best and to talk to family and friends to help you go thru the grieving process bc that is part of it. Let them know how you are feeling, but still try to support and enjoy you step sitters new arrival. I know it will be hard but she also needs the support as the same as you do right now.



Again I wish you all the best :)

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