What would you suggest for a 1 year anniversary?

Lin - posted on 08/12/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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The year anniversary for the miscarriage of my daughter is coming up (9/11). I would like to do something to honor her, to help our family process it (my husband, my 3 year old, and my 18 month old boys). Any ideas are welcome!

Thanks in advance for your help.

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Lee(ashlee) - posted on 08/31/2011

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i lost my first child so after my second was born when her birthday came along i made stepping stones with my sons footprints in it to leave at the cemetery. and every year since we make a new one for her.

Angela - posted on 08/19/2011

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8/27/11 is the 1yr anniversary and 10/29/11 the 3 yr annivesary of the preterm loss of my son, Jamere and my daughter, Angel...I plan to purchase a single balloon, personalize it w/their names, DOB, and a scripture on it and I haven't made up my mind about where I'll release it, I do know I'd like my husband and 2 daughters' w/me. Also, 10/14/11 is National Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Remembrance/Wave of Lights Day, when people all over the world will light a candlefor 1 hr in honor/memory of their "babies. I plan to locate a group in my area and participate. I don't know what I'll do in the yrs to come, but I will honor their memory every yr!!!

Wendy - posted on 08/14/2011

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Hi Lin,



My one year old little boy died 19 days after his first birthday, so we not only have his birthday, but also the anniversary of his passing within days of each other. My son has been gone for 18 months now, and on his second birthday we decided to go out an celebrate the day as a family, just as we would if he was still with us. Not the party and friends part, but just an intimate day's celebration with my husband and our children. It was our way of honoring and remembering our son. As it was a nice day we headed for the city park lands, took a picnic lunch, fed the ducks and swans and rode in a two person foot peddle boats, which we hired for a half an hour. It was a nice, simple, relaxed day - a family day. We saw a mother and father duck and their 8 little ducklings following them - it reminded me of our family, and that was nice - like a little sign for us.



We wanted the day to just be the immediate family and no one else, but if you feel you want to celebrate your daughter with friends and extended family, then do whatever you feel you need to do - everyone is different and we do things differently.



On our son's anniversary of his passing, I didn't want to upset my children, so we dropped them off to my mum's house for a sleepover, while my husband and I went out for a few hours. It was a more intimate day for the two of us, because it was more of a somber day, unlike his birthday celebration only days before. Again there was another little sign which reminded us of our son, which was very special.



If you want to do something with your family to honor your little girl, then do something which is just for you and your family - what your family would enjoy. If you want to talk about your daughter on the day with your children, then do, if it is still to hard, then just celebrate her existence with your husband, and watch you children enjoy themselves. You can make it as simple, or as elaborate as you like.



I also lite a candle for my son, and allowed it to burn the whole day in his memory, and I will do the same next year - just a little private thing for our family.



Whatever you do will be perfect and right for you and your little girl. I hope this has helped you, even just a little :)

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Shannon - posted on 09/09/2011

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We lost our first set of twins Christmas of 2006 at 22.5 weeks. Every year since then we let 2 balloons go, tied together and watch them until they disappear. My husband And I also got tattoos of our B/G twins names. We have not yet determined how we are yet to celebrate when our now 2 year old twins understand but what we have been doing has been a great celebration.

Warm thoughts to you and your family on this hard but special day

Lin - posted on 09/08/2011

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Thanks for the suggestions! We're taking the weekend off - absolutely no obligations for us to be anywhere or do anything; lighting a candle; and just spending the day as a family.

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