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Greetings!

Addie Choi - posted on 03/19/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I just wanted to say Hello and introduce myself. My name is Addie and I was in a domestic violence relationship for approximately seven and a half years. I stayed in the relationship so long not because I believed that he could change, but for my daughters. My ex never laid a hand on our girls until January 2009. The day before the Presidential inauguration, he spanked my oldest so hard it left a raised bruise the size of a deck of cards. I called the Military Police the next day while he was at work. In the end, my ex won custody of the girls due to the fact that he is "a highly decorated service member" and according to court documents, I was his invalid wife who was "touched in the head". It has been a bit hard due to the fact that I am "touched in the head" so to speak. I have bipolar disorder and several other emotional disorders.

Any ways, my hope is still that I can convince a judge to review the case and to bring my daughters to Colorado where I know they will NEVER be abused again.

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2 Comments

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Dorothy - posted on 05/29/2010

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I'm sorry about what has happened to you. It is unfair that the military is so highly thought of simply because of what it is. It seems that we're talking about a private individual here not a member of the military. My ex tried to use the emotionally unstable card with me, but as I was complying with all treatments he could not use it against me. Also, he managed to get himself in trouble with the law for another issue and therefore made himself the more unsuitable parent. I hope you situation gets better soon...

JuLeah - posted on 04/22/2010

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Hi,

Good luck!! I have learned to stay out of the courts if you can. There is no such thing as truth. It is about who looks and sounds the best - who the judge happens to believe.

It is about the picture you can paint, and that does not have much to do with what actually happened. It is about what you can 'prove' and that has nothing to do with what went down.

The person who is calm and sounds the most rational - the person with the money to provide 'experts' that back up their version of events - is the one who will be believed.

Court is not about 'best interests of the child'

If you can find a way to get your kids that keeps you out of court you will be better for it.

It angers me really, I mean the person who has been on the receiving end of DV for the past many years will seldom be the one who comes across as calm and 'together' and will not be the one to score high on any personality assessment, but is usually the one who ought to have the kids - and is usually the one who does not get them.

We have a long way to go in the country in our understanding of DV

I am sorry you are were you are at. Good luck to you!!!!

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