Hi, I'm new.

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello my name is Michelle. I'm 23 and I have a 5 year old boy who I love but drives me nuts! I am Bipolar and have generalized anxiety disorder. I have a fiance' who has somehow managed to deal with me for 3 years now and is not my son's father. I feel really bad for my son because I feel he has been given a raw deal by getting me as a mother. He is smart, funny, and handsome yet I loose patients with him very quickly most of the time. My patients has vastly improved since he was born. I still live with my parents which I'm sure doesn't help my rapid cycling mood swings seeing as they know far better than I how to parent my child. Strangly the only person I can't seem to loose it on is my Fiance' since he brings this strange calm over me. That makes me feel like a horrible mother since I can loose it on my son and not my fiance'. I'm sure my child tries to drive me nuts. Everyone else who spends time with him away from me says he's a peach and never acts up or talks back, I don't get it. Oh well, that is way too much information about me.

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Wendy - posted on 01/21/2009

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Glad we can be here for you to vent with! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I'm sure you feel that your parents are controlling, but I bet they are doing the best they know how to help you out. Your fiance must be quite some guy! Are you getting any counseling? If not, that might be a good way to regain control of your own life so that you, your fiance, and son can move forward in life. My sister is a rapid cycler too, and it took her 15-20 years to finally follow through with a DR. and find the right cocktail to control her mood swings. Unfortunately, that was not soon enough, because her now 18 year old daughter has already been emotionally damaged. Think about your son, he deserves to have his mother stabilized so that he can have a joyful relationship with you. I too have lost patience with my son, who is now 10 with bipolar disorder. I have cornered him and beat him too many times with my loss of control. Last year I started taking meds and counseling, and I haven't lost control like that since. I made it a point to repair the damage I have done and start letting go of the little things that annoy me. His behavior and self-esteem have both improved tremendously. I hope I have not offended you in any way, my goal was for you to take a look at yourself and see what you can do to change things for the better.

Best Wishes, Wendy

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