Hi New Here with a Bipolar Husband

Shaniqua - posted on 04/04/2009

Hey all! I"m new in here as well. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar depression several months before we met. He's been fortunate enough to have an excellent psychiatrist and therapist that he is able to see every week and they have gotten him on what seems to be a good "cocktail" (Lamictal and Wellbutrin). It's still so hard sometimes because he can still have mood swings and get very depressed but of course I still love him more than anything! He has a beautiful little daughter (my stepdaughter) who turned 2 in February who I love to pieces. My husband's psychiatrist said because bipolar can be genetic there is a very good chance our future children and my stepdaughter will have bipolar as well. So hopefully they won't but if they do, at least we will have a semblance of knowing how do deal with it :-)

Sharon - posted on 03/30/2009

Hi i have just joined this group as well in the hopes of finding some outlet and advice and people that understand what it is like to have or lve someone with bipolar, i was diagnosed in june last year with bipolar and borderline personality disorder just after having my son and before that myself and my family went through hell with it.

my sons father left me because he couldnt handle my mood changes which pushed me even further into despair and i soon lost all my friends. all i can suggest is support him and encourage him as much as you can because it isnt his fault but he has to be willing to get better otherwise all the support and love in the world isnt going to help



good luck with it all, i know how frustrating it can be as i was the one doing it to my family and friends... it isnt fun at all :(

Wendy - posted on 03/27/2009

Quoting Jennifer:

Hi! I am new here as well and joined because my husband is bi-polar. He was diagnosed while I was 3 months pregnant, after he attempted suicide. He also went thru many different med changes, was in and out of hospitals, and attempted suicide three more times before our daughter was born. I have had a very hard time dealing with all of this, and I am now trying to decide if we should get divorced or not. Don't get me wrong, I do love and care about him very much, but he is just so angry, mean and controlling most of the time. He is seeing good doctors now, and seems to be doing better since finally being stabilized on meds, but honestly I am scared for myself and my daughter because I know what he is capable of.
Hopefully someone can give me some insight on this, either from someone living with, or loving someone with bi polar. I know it's not an easy thing to deal with, and maybe I just don't understand what he's going thru.

I understand your fears, and can see why you have those thoughts. It sounds that he is just starting down the road of recovery. Afterall, it can take quite some time for him to find the right "cocktail" to help him control his mood swings.  He really needs your love and support right now, and with your help he can reach his goals.

My sisters marriage failed because her husband refused to comprehend her disorder and was not supportive at all. She kept loosing jobs, didn't keep her Dr. appointments, fell into a deeper depression and lost her car and home. This caused a major breakdown and a divorce from a man that she loved dearly. 

Search your heart! What if it was your child? Wouldn't you take every measure possible to help your child find peace within himself? Keep the communication open, let him know your fears. Ask him what you can do to help. At least he is taking his meds.

My father-in-law got a divorce due to his anxiety and depression. He chose not to get help and it wore his wife out. She tried over and over to get him to go to a Dr. and he continued to refuse. I couldn't blame her, it was causing her to fall into a depression.

I know I may sound contradictory, but the point that I'm getting at is: If he is willing to get better, then love him and support him, if not, then that's between you and God.

He may need your help to remember his Dr. appointments, taking meds and other simple things that will keep the peace. If he misses a Dr. appt., it could cause him to run out of meds, and then he's back into a downward spiral, and there goes the peacefulness.

I wish you the best. With God's Love,

Wendy

Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

Hi! I am new here as well and joined because my husband is bi-polar. He was diagnosed while I was 3 months pregnant, after he attempted suicide. He also went thru many different med changes, was in and out of hospitals, and attempted suicide three more times before our daughter was born. I have had a very hard time dealing with all of this, and I am now trying to decide if we should get divorced or not. Don't get me wrong, I do love and care about him very much, but he is just so angry, mean and controlling most of the time. He is seeing good doctors now, and seems to be doing better since finally being stabilized on meds, but honestly I am scared for myself and my daughter because I know what he is capable of.
Hopefully someone can give me some insight on this, either from someone living with, or loving someone with bi polar. I know it's not an easy thing to deal with, and maybe I just don't understand what he's going thru.

Rachel - posted on 02/13/2009

Hi, I am also new to this group, so glad you shared your story.I am a newly wed, (well almost 4 yrs) and I have lived with Bi-polar Disorder for years. In 2008 we had our first baby and during the pregnancy I found out my husband was also Bi-Polar. He had a extreme mania episode, followed by a bad crash and had to be hospitalized. He's doing better now, on meds, and I am not. Things have been hard in the past-- I hope to get support here and learn how to deal with my illness and still be a great mom.

Branwyn - posted on 01/26/2009

Hi there! I am pretty new to this group as well - I am bipolar myself. Good for you joining a help group! I look forward to getting to know you.

namaste,
branwyn