I hate feeling like this... Can anyone relate... just for today?

Katherine - posted on 03/12/2010

I feel like I always have "one of those days" I get overwhelmed so easily. It's hard!!

Lizl - posted on 03/03/2010

Hi Megan, nope cant say Ive tried hypnosis, diddnt think it would work, but thanks for writing in reply to my post its so comforting right now to know Im not alone. Im supposed to be working on a really big project at the moment, have a deadline looming and I cant get started. im so blase (sp?) at the moment, I think im definitely heading for a downer this time.... Ive been waking up at 2am for the last three nights anyone see a pattern here. oh well will keep you updated.

Megan - posted on 03/03/2010

Hello ladies, I was just reading through your posts. I had a horrid day yesterday. I broke a kitchen drawer with an angry pull and it shattered on the floor. Sadly, somedays it seems that my moods don't affect my family anymore...it's like they are so used to it that it doesn't surprise them.
I have been this way since 13-14 years of age (14 years) and have tried a few meds, but not for a long period of time. I am scared to be medicated and depend on it to be normal. Though somedays I wish I could be on meds. I'm now pregnant with my 4th child and still breastfeeding my 3rd so I don't think I could be on anything right now.
I too am HORRID when it's that time of month. I turn into an evil banshee. My husband can always tell that I'm about to start.
I am so tired of feeling like I make my family miserable. I really don't know much about this cycling thing but the way it goes for me is that I have like 1 or 2 really great weeks where I can hold it all together, keep things clean, do what I'm supposed to do, maybe with a bad day or two in there. Then I go into 2 weeks of horridness where I'm depressed down and don't want to clean or do anything. I'm so tired of this crap!!!! I am going to theropy...

Anyone ever went under hypnosis??

Lizl - posted on 03/02/2010

Hi Shauna, Im ok im still hovering - Im in limbo at the moment, still dont know which way im going. The meds seem to be working... yay :) I find it worst during "that" time of month when they become completely obsolete and I turn into dragon lady. My husband usually just goes into lock down mode. He takes the kids and pretty much protects them aka me shouting and ranting and raving as much as he can but other than that Im as calm and pulled together as can be. ha ironic - I know.

What can I tell you, my story is your story just a little different - I always knew something was wrong with me I just couldnt put my finger on it until after my second child was born and I completely cracked one day and went to see a pschychiatrist to ask him if I was crazy! He said no but that he does suspect Im BP and wanted to delve into my family history it was then that I discovered that 3 of my family members were BP and failed to inform the rest of the family. It would have saved so much heartache and trouble. Ive been on meds for 3 years without breaks or changes and its going well, no hospitilizations, but I have passed BP onto my children as you know it doesnt skip generations and it is passed on maternally. I am monitoring them closely my son 7 years is showing symptoms - very emotional but I am so aware and so hands on with him that i have given him every coping strategy and method and his teacher at school is BP and is extremely protective of him and knows how to deal with him properly so we are keeping him off meds for as long as possible. when he hits puberty we will deal with that then. My 6 year old daughter is still fine no signs still living the life, but I know when to look for her signs.

As for me, I have good days and horrible days and then the days like now when I know Im about to swing and I dont know if the next one is going to be good or bad and I am completely unproductive. I appreciate your email so much it is a life line so thank you. This is really helping me. I live in Cape Town South Africa so you will see our communication will be a little out of sinc, but its great and I love it. Things are very different here, but I would love to learn more about you and where you live.

kind regards Lizl

Lei - posted on 03/02/2010

Hi Lizi....Oh how can I relate. I have been dealing with Bipolar disorder, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Mood Disorder and Depression for pretty much my whole life. I have been on so many medications I felt like a walking pharmacy at one point, lol. I have a tendency to do rapid cycling throughout the day sometimes. Unfortunately for my family, sometimes it's hard for me to tell before it happens. My mood swings are horrendous. And, now, to make matters worse, I passed this curse down to my 14 year old son. He was diagnosed Last January with Bipolar Disorder , depression, as well conduct disorder, PTSD, Anxiety disorder. He has attempted suicide twice. Been hospitalized 3 times, with the 3rd time being a Residential stay for about 8 months. The stress of everything has and continues to cause a terrible rift between my husband and I. I am starting to feel depressed and out of control and have absolutely no one to talk to about it because I tend to push things down instead of talk about it. But, I find it very easy to open up over the computer because I don't feel like I am being judged or looked at like a mental health freak.



So, Lizi, tell me a little about yourself and what makes you happy. Lets try to get your mind refocused if we can okay?