meanest person in the world

Emily - posted on 11/06/2010

I think we lash out at people we love because we know it's a safe place to vent. My son holds it together at school because he can't vent there - so he'll come home and vent at home - he can do that because it's a safe place to express anxiety.
I'm not going to go vent to some stranger that I'm pissed at the world and dammit why would I have to deal with this (and on and on) - the stranger doesn't care, and would probably call the cops on this crazy woman yelling at the top of her lungs...
It's safe to vent at home because we know the people love us and will help if they can.
It's safe for my son to say "I HATE YOU" because he knows, and I know, that it's not true. It's safe to cry in front of family because they love you. It's safe to scream and throw things at home because it's your stuff...
Am I saying it's appropriate? NOT AT ALL... But, the question about why do we verbally attack the people we love? Because subconsciously we know they are the ones that love us the most, and that the safest place to be when in a "rage" is to be with people who love us.

Julz - posted on 11/02/2010

I feel exactly where all of you are coming from and am in tears as i sit here at my pc...my mom, my sister, my baby girl, my boss, and anyone (whether i know them or not) that makes out as if i am inferior to them...they all get the wrath...i am trying my best to control it and have just had my epilim dose increased but it makes me feel horrible...like i must be the worst daughter, sister, mother, employee and citizen around. But I am praying and hoping that God hears my prayers for stillness of heart and self-control

Sandra - posted on 10/28/2010

hi, i was diagnosed a few years ago after having exiled myself and burned all my bridges with just about everyone i cared about.. at that time i had no idea what was happening to me... for the past seven years i have become recluse.. i don't socialise at all.. my 2 children however, who are now young adults have been awesum.. one friend, my best friend of 17 years stood by me through everything, she never gave up on me and and one other friend of 10 years who is always making sure im ok... it has taken 7 years for me to even attempt a relationship.. but i pre-warned him first and although sometimes he struggles to understand he has been great...im now 44 years old and trying to rebuild my life.. its not easy as im very aware about the stigma attached to my illness.. there have been many times i have thought about giving it all up, ending my misery... but my kids still need me.. mad as i am.... oh and like yourself i constantly watch and worry about my kids, looking for little signs but they both appear to be free of this blight.. i have found that its the people who truly love you, worts and all that are the rocks in my life... the rest i can live without.... all the best to you.. and remember, you are not alone..x

Julie - posted on 10/16/2010

YES. I lash out at my mom all the time (verbally). Mostly, I'm just ranting about things unrelated to her, but sometimes I find myself mean to her about smaller stuff I shouldn't get so mad over. I don't know if it is because she is an easy target or if I know she'll love me anyways. I try to think before I speak and recognize that, even if she doesn't show it, I'm sure I hurt her.

Trying to be more conscious of what I'm about to say before I say it is really the only thing I've found to be helpful. Plus, you can always yell at your therapist, that's what we pay them for, right? ;)

Kasei - posted on 10/13/2010

I do this too it's great to know I am not the only one. My husband says I am getting so bad he dosen't want to be around me sometimes. We have been married almost 11yrs and he has put up with alot so I know it's getting bad, What makes it worse is we have 3 kids and I tend to take most of it out on our 7yr old daughter. She is at that I am gonna push the limits stage and wow I told the dr and they upped my meds so much I almost fel like a zombie if I take them how I am soppose to. I am on Gabbipenton(sp) for mood and migraines it works great for migraines. Seriquel and Abilifie as well. I mean they do their job iif taken like I am soppose to but if we got through life like a zombie its no fun. I hope this helps some.