Laura - posted on 12/30/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )
I have always been the timid one. the one who wasnt allowed to have an opinoin or feelings. I am a single- married mother. My kids father hasnt been in thier life for the past 10 years. I suffered hell on earth while I was with him. Since Jan. 2000 I have been diaognosed with Bi-Polar Axis 1, DID, Depression with suicidal tendencies, ADHD/ ADD. I have 3 children; My boy is 15 yrs old. with Bi-Polar, ADD/ Adhd and explosive bursts of anger; My 13 yr old daughter has Bi-Polar, add/ adhd, ODD, explosive bursts of anger with homisidal tendencies; my 12 yr old daughter is blessed with only add/ adhd. All of us are on meds. I just got back on meds due to depression setting in feelings of worthlessness, starting to feel suicidal. I have been back on meds for the past 3 months. I hate taking meds. I feel soooo inaddiquit. but at the same time I know that if i dont take them I could comit suicide. my biggest fear is commiting suicide and my kids finding me. I am sad and depressed. I honestly feel that if they were somewere else I would finish my life. the sad thing is I am tired of reaching out..........I wanna cry all the time. I dont do it around my kids but i know they know Im depressed. Kids are smart.