Communities

Mothers going through a Divorce/ Separation with baby's Dad

All Communities > Mothers going through a Divorce/ Separation with baby's Dad > Recently split - managing time?

Recently split - managing time?

Kelly - posted on 08/24/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

I'm recently seperated from my son's father - we were never married - and although I'd love to write the whole story here, I'm more concerned now with how to manage life after seperating. My son is turning one on saturday and is not really old enough to know what's going on. I want to make sure that we're not damaging him with all the back and forth. Both his dad and I love him a lot and want to make sure he spends time with both of us, but I'm worried that all the travelling and switching locations is going to ruin his amazing personality.

Does anyone have any advice on how to manage time for a toddler? Whether big blocks of time with each parent are better, or splitting days/evenings? Any advice would be appreciated!

People thought this was ...
Helpful
Nice
Funny
Encouraging
Hugs

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Susan - posted on 09/25/2010

What I've read is that for really young children like yours, it is better to have frequent contact with both parents. So, it's better to switch off every other day than go for long durations so your child can maintain his attachment to both of you. One book that was really helpful to me in all of this process was "The Truth About Children and Divorce: How to Manage the Emotions so you and your children can thrive." The author, Robert Emery, also has a website on this topic with sample visitation schedules for children of different ages. Good luck.

People thought this was ...
Helpful
Nice
Funny
Encouraging
Hugs

Laura - posted on 08/30/2010

The most important thing is to make the transition easier- i.e do not argue when you see each other for visits, etc. Just try to get along as much as possible and it will be easier for your child!!