Anyone who adopted an older child? (toddler)

Robin - posted on 01/13/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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Hi!
Our son came into our home when he was 3...we met him when we was 2 and his adoption wasn't official until 9/07! (He's now 8). Just wondering if anyone else has adopted an older child?

-Robin

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Brenda - posted on 04/18/2011

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we adopted a three year old in Sept. from China. She is behind on a lot of things, but slowly catching up.

Foster - posted on 05/16/2012

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Yes, we adopted 2 girls in Dec. They are 13 and 12 years-old. We were their 11th home.

Amanda - posted on 02/13/2010

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my 2 children were adopted at the age of 2 an 3 and that was 5yrs ago they are now 7 and 8 - my daughter has a lot of behavioural problems that were not present until recently but we are taking it all in our stride, even if that does involve tears and tantrums ( mainly mine) he he - but wouldnt change a thing -
amanda

Allie - posted on 10/27/2009

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My son found us when he was 2-1/2, he's 8 now. He's basically an only child since our older children are in college in a different state. He's amazing and seems to have adjusted better than the best case scenario. Because we have had such luck, I wonder if we will run into issues later, maybe in the teen years. I expected some bumps because of his past before us. He was not abused, as a matter of fact, he was pretty much raise in a hospital (he has some medical issues). Maybe because his first 2-/2 years were with nurses he will be fine... but I keep wondering if something will surface. For the last 5-1/2 years, it's been so wonderful. I feel like missed so much of his life before us, and now he's growing so fast I can't get caught up. I miss the person he was yesterday before today even arrives... He's such a blessing.

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J M - posted on 02/04/2013

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To the original 1st Post of this blog,

Geeps adoption of a toddler 3 is stil very very young, we adopted our son age 6.5, still a young and good age to adopt, a lot of positives when adopting a child that can adjust well, as our son has,

I say older would be um 7 or 8 9 upwards..... because under those ages does have differing developmental differences.

Once they reach 7 plus can be harder, but all depends on how the child was supported care for and prepared, and was treated before they come to you.

J M - posted on 12/31/2012

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Yes we did, we personally have no regrets, but we were well prepared before we adopted.

Patience time and unconditional Love, not to high expectations of : how things should be" , take one at a time, have a lot of fun with them,seems to be a good recipe.
Enjoy!

Lorna - posted on 12/30/2012

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Hi Nicole,
Depending on where she lives if she is giving her child up for adoption she can go through the local Childrens Aid society. She can let them know that she wants to choose where her baby ends up.

Nicholle - posted on 12/30/2012

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Help!
I am not a mother but am trying to find out some answers and get help for my great nephew. He is 1 yrs old and my niece thinking about making the selfless act of adopting him to a stable emotionally healthly family. All of my searches on the internet have come up as a new born adoption only. If anyone has advice or can help point me in a direction would be much appreicated.

Lara - posted on 10/23/2012

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Our son came home at 5, after being prepared for a year by the orphanage that he would be adopted by us. He is also 8 now.

F.A.S. - posted on 06/30/2012

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yes robin i adopted 2 special needs boys 11 and twelve now 14 and 15 and it only took 6 months

Roxanne - posted on 05/25/2012

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Hi. We adopted a 6 year old who had been in foster care for five years. He's now 8 ( and a half as he's quick to correct me). Best thing we ever did, he's an amazing little boy. People don't realize that you can have a really strong bond with an older child adoption. Maybe have a few more issues than some natural born children but I know plenty of parents who have many more issues with their biological children.
-Roxanne

Janet - posted on 05/16/2012

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Hi Robin, I have adopted 6 children. One was an infant, One was 6, one 5 and two were 3 and one was 2. The two that were oldest when they came to our home were very challenging but the youngest who was 2 when she came to us is deffinantly the most difficult. Just alot of things have festered since she started puberty. It has been hard on us all unfortunaly. Good luck to you and your boy.

[deleted account]

I adopted 3 children in 2010 a 10 year old girl, a 7 year old boy and a 5 year old girl. I was their step-mom for 3.5 months and by the grace of God, the courts finalized it only a month after we had filed.

Heather

Jamie - posted on 12/11/2011

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Our son will be five on December 17! He came home last year in November...so he was almost four years old.

I know it isn't right for some people, but we absolutely loved adopting a preschool aged child. He is amazing

Anne - posted on 10/31/2011

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I have! I had 3 kids by birth, and then adopted a 5 yr old girl back in 2003. Then in 2009, I adopted a brother-sister pair: 13 yr old boy and his 10 yr old sister.

Crystal - posted on 10/30/2011

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no but two people adopted mine when they were 7 and 4 and now they hate me even though i gave birth to them dont ever talk bad about the natural parents it would help everyone in th long run

Jen - posted on 05/01/2011

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We've adopted a boy who's 14, turning 15 next month. He came into our home last August on "visiting" status until the paper work was finally signed early December.

I was adopted when I was 8. Actually, my parents adopted 6 kids, one was a baby of 1 or 2 months old when he was adopted. The rest of us were 6-8 when we were adopted. I dont' think my parents would change a thing if they could go back in time.

The boy I'm adopting now is my bio-brother's son. I didn't grow up with that brother; but its nice to be taking care of his son who was in foster homes for awhile.

Janet - posted on 06/16/2010

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Your son will probably be fine if he hasnt shown any emotional problems by now. I have several adopted children all in their teens now. They all have their issues but have had those all along. Teen years are trying though for any child and parent...biological or adopted.

Janet - posted on 06/16/2010

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I have 6 adopted children. I dont consider 2 or 3 to be older children. Mine were mostly under the age of 3. Two of them were over 5 and those two have been a completly different experience. Bonding issues mostly. All 6 are teens now.

Micaela - posted on 05/07/2010

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Our son was 3 and daughter 7 months when they came into our lives, 3 years later the adoption was finalized!! April 9th of this year. Thank God for such a wonderful blessing.
our kiddos are 6 & 3 now.
-Micaela

Marshella - posted on 02/13/2010

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Hi Robin,

I have a 9 yr old bio son, then we adopted a boy and girl sibling group who were 2 1/2 and 6 when they came into our homes, and were 5 and 8 when they were officially adopted. (currently age 6 and almost 10). About 6 months before the adoption was finalized, we had a second bio child, a girl, who is now 2. (We call her our "bonus" child. The "daughter" (2nd one) that I always wanted and whom I got to name). :-)

We are a truly happy and fortunate family of 6 now. Lovin' it!

Marshella

Marshella - posted on 02/13/2010

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Wow! I love unique/different names. So cool - I've never heard of "Calliandra" before, and I LOVE it! Acer is cool, too.

Laura - posted on 11/05/2009

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Quoting Suzy:

Did anyone get counseling for their older adopted child?   Yes we had a bonding specialists for the first year and a half.  We now see a Dr. who specializes in RAD..anger trauma..ect.


 

Lorna - posted on 10/02/2009

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We adopted our third oldest daughter when she was 4 although we had fostered her since she was 19months. She is FAS and is doing amazingly well!!! She will be 9 this ear and I can't imagine life without her.

Jill - posted on 09/03/2009

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Hi Robin, we adopted our daughter when she was 3, she's 8 now. We adopted our 3 year old when she was just 9 months and can already see that it is is much easier with her.

Barb - posted on 08/29/2009

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Our 2 oldest actually lived with us first in foster care at ages 2 and 3, then went back to bio parents and back at ages 4 and 5. The adoption finally went through at ages 8 and 9. Our youngest was 5 1/2 when we got her. The older they are the harder everything is. We have had lots of issues!

Tanya - posted on 08/14/2009

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Our son came to live with us when he was 9. The adoption finalized a year later. He is now 11. How is it going?

Tanya - posted on 08/02/2009

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My husband and I adopted a nine year old boy. It was extemely challenging. The case worker from the state we adopted from was not completely honest about the child we were getting. After having him in our home its turns out he is way more high needs than we were told. But thankfully I stay at home with my kids so I am able to work with him alot, and make sure he gets all of the services he needs. (therapy,behavior coach,ect.) We are also thankful that he gets along so well with our 5 year daughter. They are best friends. Everyday is a challenge but I am confindent that he will get better. :)

[deleted account]

Robin,

My husband and I adopted our first at birth. We both decided that if we were to adopt again, the child would have to find us... Well, he did! He came into our home just 10 days before he turned 2. We've had a long road (he's now 5) and we are still waiting for the judge's signature (simply just the red tape) on the Final Order of Adoption. God is good!

Amy

Marlene - posted on 06/17/2009

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Quoting Suzy:

Did anyone get counseling for their older adopted child?


I did for a bit .. but when we moved it was hard to find a counselor, I try to keep them talking about things and thier feelings, we have a lot of family meetings where we all share our feelings and tell what we like & don't like and who was mean or who was nice.  My girls went through a lot but they seem to very happy and well adjusted.

Marlene - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hi Robin, we adopted 2 sisters 7 & 8, we met them when they were 5 & 6; they are a handful at times but hearing about what they went through to get to us really reads like a fairy tale ... I'm grateful for my children and I don't feel I missed out on all the "baby" things; I've always been a late bloomer they just fit in perfectly :)

Marsha - posted on 06/12/2009

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We adopted three children. They were 10 months, 18 months and 2 1/2 when we brought them home. They are now 3, 4 & 5. I love them very much and it sure has been an education!

Kate - posted on 06/12/2009

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We adopted from Russia which is almost always toddler adoption. We adopted our oldest when he was 13 months old, and our youngest when he was 22 months old (2 years a part). They are now 2 and 3 (turning 4 next Friday) -- 14 months a part, and an absolute joy. I love the age.

Darshana - posted on 06/09/2009

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Robin, i am also planning to adopt, i have my son who is 4 and i have already started the paper work for a girl. i want infant may be 6-12 months as i feel it is easier to bond but my hubby wants 2-3 years so that my son & she can gel well.



what i would like to say is, each individual have their own perception & ways of dealing with a situation. i can understadn your nervouseness but just do what u feel is right & continue everything that you with +ve attitude and feeling. What will matter is how u well can u manage & deal with the situations...Rest all will fall in place :))

Natalie - posted on 02/28/2009

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Hi Robin, we adopted our oldest child when he was 9; he will be 18 on May 1st.  He has a ton of baggage and it has been rather trying.  We have high hopes for him to be a successful adult.  Our younger 4 are a sibling group.  We adopted our 2 girls when they were 2 and 3 and their brother was 1.  Almost a year ago, we adopted their new brother.  The younger children are now 7, 6, almost 5, and almost 2.  They are wonderful, lively children and we are very blessed.

Suzy - posted on 02/27/2009

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We adopted a 13 year old who carried a lot of baggage on 5/08.  He's now 14 and has been with us for 18 months.  He has ADHD and ODD.  He's made a lot of progress, but has a long way to go.  It's one step forward, and two steps back, but I wouldn't change what we did for anything

Laura - posted on 02/14/2009

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Yes we adopted two siblings at age 5 and 8 four years ago. It has been amazing, wonderful, frightening, lonely, educational, rewarding, bumpy...heartwarming and heart breaking.

Amanda - posted on 01/25/2009

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Hi Robin,
We just adopted a brother and sister in October 2008. Alex is 4 and Mikayla is almost 2. We are having so much fun getting to know each other, but it's almost as if we've know them forever. How are things going with you?
Amanda

Robin - posted on 01/23/2009

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I have goosebumps all over me as I read your posts.  Thanks for responding.  I'd love to continue to dialogue about this.  You are all wonderful!

Lynette - posted on 01/23/2009

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My husband and I adopted our older two children when they were 4 and 3. A boy and a girl. Then I got pregnant a few months later with our youngest daughter.

Cindy - posted on 01/23/2009

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Hi Robin! We also adopted older children - the girls were 7 and 8yrs - now, 9 and 10yrs. The biggest challenge we have had is that the girls came with their own sense of "right and wrong" if that makes sense. In a way, we have had to do a lot of behavior modification - through positive reinforcement, etc. It's been trying at times but also very rewarding. Both of them are such great kids - they just needed a little "extra" help as far as making right decisions (like a lot of kids). But no matter ... I wouldn't trade either of them for the world!!

Marilyn - posted on 01/18/2009

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hello robin, we also adopted siblings and its realy good for them. we adopted 1 that was 11 then and it took almost 2 yrs it was a realitive situation and hard at times no DCS OR ANY ORGANIZATION.  then we went to adopt the other  and she was 9 then. that was extremly hard. with/out all detail. older children are wonderful bagage and all. they are SOOOO worth it. yo and so many of us are so blessed. this is my husband 3 adoption. when we got married i already had 1 son. and about 2 years later we had another son.  TOTAL OF 4 CHILDREN WHOOOHOOOO; SO FUN

Marilyn - posted on 01/18/2009

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hello robin, we also adopted siblings and its realy good for them. we adopted 1 that was 11 then and it took almost 2 yrs it was a realitive situation and hard at times no DCS OR ANY ORGANIZATION.  then we went to adopt the other  and she was 9 then. that was extremly hard. with/out all detail. older children are wonderful bagage and all. they are SOOOO worth it. yo and so many of us are so blessed. this is my husband 3 adoption. when we got married i already had 1 son. and about 2 years later we had another son.  TOTAL OF 4 CHILDREN WHOOOHOOOO; SO FUN

Sara - posted on 01/14/2009

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Hi Robin.  Two  years ago we adopted a 4 and 7 year old (now 9 and 7) - boy and girl sibling group.  While adopting older children has it's benefits (no diapers, waking at night, bottles, etc) - it also is hard because you may have to deal with some memories of the biological family or foster homes in the past.  With him being 3 - you might luck out and he will forget or not really even remember his past.  Best of luck to you.....adopted children are such a blessing.  I have learned more from our daughter and son than I have from any other people I have ever met.  The power of unconditional love and forgiveness is amazing in these children.

Heather - posted on 01/14/2009

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We adopted Acer at 29 months and we're adopting Calliandra who will be 9 in March.
Heather BT

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