Sonya - posted on 08/10/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hi, I'm Sonya - 37 years old. I have been teaching elementary school for the past 9 years. I have 2 adopted children who have been beaten incredible odds to be the good and successful children that they are today.
My daughter Shaylyn was born in 1999 to a mother who lived in a crack hotel and had an abusive alcoholic boyfriend (Shaylyn's father). During an altercation between the parents, Shaylyn was dropped on her head at 6 months old. The state of Michigan stepped in and placed Shaylyn with a relative. By this time the bio mom was pregnant with my son Jayden. At some point the relative that had Shaylyn let her go back to her bio mom without permission. The state got wind of this and removed Shaylyn and put her into the foster system. It was said that when they took Shay the second time, she was so hungry from neglect that she was rocking with hunger pangs. She not yet a year old. Jayden was born in 2000 (Shaylyn was 13 months) and the state took him immediately and placed him in the same home as his sister.
They went through 2 foster homes then were placed with my husband and his ex-wife in May of 2001 as foster children. During the next 2 years, the children lived as foster children with my husband and his ex. This time was given to the bio mom to meet court requirements for getting the children back. My husband and his ex had to take the children to visitation with the bio mom throughout this whole time. The bio father was not allowed to see the children due to his violent nature.
In spring of 2003 the bio mom had still not shown adequate progress and the courts terminated her rights permanently. At that time, my husband and his ex followed steps to adopt both children. A year later, the adoption was final. Shaylyn was 4 and Jayden was 3. During the adoption process, my husband started noticing a detioration in the marriage. His ex-wife became distant and odd.
In the summer of 2004, just months after the adoption was final, my husband found out that his ex-wife had been sexually abusing both Shaylyn and Jayden. He immediately turned her into the police and had her arrested. She plead "no contest" to felony criminal sexual conduct involving a child and now also has all rights to the children terminated.
I met my husband in the fall of 2005 on a Catholic website. We were friends for the first year while he waited for an annulment through the church, got engaged in 2006 and were married in August of 2007. I am going through the process of adopting Shaylyn and Jayden now to be their mother. I remember the first night I met the kids, Jayden (5 yrs at the time) leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Maybe you can be our mom!" I'll never forget that moment for the rest of my life. I love these 2 with all my heart.
We have had A LOT of bumps these last 4 years. A lot of counseling, behavior issues, meds, etc. Despite all of these issues, my children are very successful in many areas. My son has been tested as having an IQ of 130 - Gifted. He is a very dedicated altar boy and has said for the past 3 years that he wants to be a priest. He is active in Cub Scouts and dances tap, ballet, jazz, hip-hop, and acrobatics. My daughter's intelligence in the "bright, above average" range. She is on student council at school. She also dances tap, ballet, jazz, hip-hop, and acrobatics. She competes in jazz dancing and her group took first place at regional and national competition this year. She also won a scholarship to a dance workshop coming up this weekend. So as you can see, children are very resiliant and can rise to great accomplishments when given love and support.
I look forward to talking with all of you about the joys and challenges of our children.