My daughter is almost 10... so is this a good time to start the birds and bees conversation??

Melissa - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I remember beginning sex-ed in 5th grade, my daughter is almost ten and will be in 5th grade next year - I'd like to have the "birds and bees" talk with her before anyone else does - is now a good time? How much info is too much at this age??

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Amber - posted on 06/11/2010

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I have 3 girls. My 9 yr old knows the whole truth about sex and puberty. My 6 year old knows the that babies come out of your vagina, that it takes a boy and girl to have a baby and that girls bleed and my 4 year old knows the correct terms and that its inappropriate for boys and girls to show each other their privates. I just keep adding information as the years go by and it made it much easier to have both talks since they have already come to terms with parts of it

Karen - posted on 05/28/2010

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The puberty videos happened this year, in 4th grade for our school district. I had been telling my daughter a little bit at a time as questions arose, had even discussed sperm and egg, but not how the two met. After she had been at one of her guy friend's house and told me she thought she was pregnant because her stomach hurt, I had to expand on the conversation. Her reaction was priceless, "Ugh, that's gross! Wait a minute, did Daddy do THAT to you?!? Ooooohhhh!!" When I asked her if she still thought she was pregnant she decided she was not, it was just gas. I did tell her that she did not need to share the information at school with her friends as their parents may not be ready for that yet and that she could always ask me anything, anytime. I hope to keep the lines of communication open as she gets closer to the teenage years when I'll really have to worry.

Laura - posted on 05/28/2010

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talk to her!!! my mother had a hysterectomy when i was about 7. i asked my older sisters and they told me it was birds and bees stuff and i should ask mom. i did and she said she would tell me later and she forgot. i filled in the blanks with what i thought was happening and what the older girls (and BOYS) at school told me. i was horrified! i wish someone had told me before that had happened. my husband just had that talk with my step daughter last year. he and i went to the library and checked a bunch of books out to help him out. i was pregnant and she was very curious. he handled that klike a champ, they had sex ed this year (fourth grade) and she has been way more relaxed about everything, it was embarrasing at first but now a days they know too much too soon. she admitted that her best friends older sister and her friend talk about sex ( that lead to a phone call to her mother as she isonly 14) and that she was confused and grossed out. better armed with knowledge than crippled by ignorance

!!

Jude - posted on 05/23/2010

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I think you should start to talk to them at this age especially being a girl as they go into the next stage of life pubity. My daughter is nearly 10 and i think her hormones are changing.this can be the time for their period to start and therefore they may have feelings for boys even though i think they are a bit young for this but if they are then we as parents need to talk to them even if it is just the basics like kissing and touching etc. Too young for this i know but they will experiment so good to talk about it now before they do the wrong things because of peer pressure to be popular ETC.

Kim - posted on 05/03/2010

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I don't think it's too early to start, I know I dread that conversation with my girls (they are 5 & 1). Lucky for me my husband volunteered to have the talk with our son-he turned 10 in feb. We decided it was time to talk to him because there were more and more times where he would want to be alone in his room, seemed depressed and he wouldn't really talk to us. My husband and I went on a hunch that maybe things were starting to happen to his body and he was embaressed. We figured even if that wasn't it the talk couldn't hurt because he would be starting health/sex-ed in school next year anyways. In the end, we were right and are both glad that we decided it was time. Despite the fact that I thought he was too young for any of that, I was wrong. He definately is in early puberty. Since my husband and son had the talk our son has been more open around us and is back to his normal confident self. It was definately the right time (if not a little late) to have the talk. and like I said I'm just glad that the majority of the talk landed on my husband!

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Kylene - posted on 08/31/2010

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Over the Summer I got my 10 year old son a book about boys and girls puberty where babies come from etc. he read the whole thing and I told him he could ask me questions anytime which he hasnt he is probably embrassed but I wasnt my kids to be well informed the school only tells boys about boys and girls about girls and they say nothing about sex I think it is important for the parents to talk to their child not the school.

Jamie - posted on 08/09/2010

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I am not really sure when the real great and wonderful time to have the birds and bees talk with ur kids however, I do think that with kids being sexually active in the younger grades it use to be 8-9 th grade and now ive heard of kids in 3rd-4th grade having sex my daughter is going into the 4th grade. I ve also told her that DRUGS are bad and what to look for and also if ANYBODY offers her a piece of gum either say no thanks not right now" and if they insist just take it and tell'em u will chew it later. and then somehow throw it away. because you just never know.
I have not told my daughter HOW babies are made or anything she kinda already heard that part from her friends from school that do know to much. Ive told her what she needs to know for her age relations.

Margaret - posted on 08/08/2010

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I found this thread very helpful as I've been wondering what my daughters should know by now and what they shouldn't. I had the puberty (body changing) talk with my 10 year old just a few months before her birthday as I could see her boobs developing already and she had already been wearing deodorant since last year but she mentioned to me that she had hair in places. But I've been unsure as to when to have the sex talk and just how much information is too much at this age? She was 10 in March. My youngest daughter will be 5 next week.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/05/2010

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Just want to let you know that with everything that everyone else was kind enough to reply about, I've actually found a new and healthy way to have these types of discussions with my 9 year old daughter. I told her a few months ago about were babies come from but was too afraid to tell her too much too soon. Apparently I am wrong. I have no problem learning new things and everyones responses were extremely helpful. Honesty and open lines of conversations are KEY. If nothing else this is the number one priority. Better you than someone else!! Good luck :-)

Jeniffer Nduta - posted on 05/28/2010

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i dread that conversation but luckily for me, they r taught in school and so i just answer questions from her. The other day was hard since she had fallen in love with a boy in her grade or she thinks she had fallen in love and it was causing her to drop and had to tell her to stop thinking about him and that it is all in the mind. she can control what she thinks about and today she is ok. I would really like to be married so that she stops looking for fatherly attention from the boys.

Tanya - posted on 05/05/2010

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It is definitely a good time to have that talk. Right now I would just go over the basics like they do in school. Go over body changes, menstration and it's purpose. I touched on sex with my girls but briefly and told them if they had any questions they could come to me and I would answer them privately. This keeps the line of communication open.

Shelly - posted on 04/21/2010

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I had the talk with my daughter at age 9, both the changing body and sex talk. I wanted to make sure she heard it from me and not her friends. It went really well, she asked a few questions and I didn't sugar coat anything. I felt my daughter was mature enough to handle this information. I also wanted her to know that she could talk to me about anything and I would tell her the truth even if it was something that could be embarrassing.

Melinda - posted on 04/02/2010

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My kids have always know to an age appropriate level. It started as the Daddy puts a seed in the mummy's tummy and she grows a baby....and got more complex as they got older. They learned the complete truth when I had a baby last year.

Stacey - posted on 03/26/2010

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i have a 10 year old son and stil haven't had the talk with him. i know it's time, i'm just a chicken. we got this book to help. it's called what's happening to my body. we plan on using this to help us. good luck

Betty - posted on 03/25/2010

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We did the talk w/my son last in 2009, the doctor gave us a dvd. Talking to the doctor is a good idea. His friends were saying things, so we thought it was best.

Kathy - posted on 03/14/2010

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i don't think it is ever too early , i would start with the basics her period , growth of boobs then move on to sex . good luck i'm glad i only have 1 girl she is 16 now and i worry everyday about her . i hope i have given her enoug infor to keep her safe and informed . my other children are boys 11mo, 7 yrs and 9 yrs.

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