Emotional Breakdown, Deja Vu... weird stuff happening here...

Angelica - posted on 05/07/2009

OMG I love this forum because I don't feel alone anymore. My son is 7 and was diagnosed with TS 5 months ago. He did give me signs by age 4 but I thought he was just being a kid. He is also having mood-swings, meltdowns. He will cry for anything, while doing homework, if I tell him he needs to rewrite a sentence because it is too slopy he will just start crying. Somedays he is mean to me. Not in a disrespectful way and not using any profanity but he will not be as sweet. Then within minutes he is back to normal. His tics are really bad right now and he gets seizures. He has had these seizures since Feb. His neurologist tells me it is because of the TS. It feels really good to be able to speak to other moms that have children with TS. But I will definately appreciate any suggestions on these meltdowns.

Paula - posted on 05/05/2009

I am glad to know that my family & I aren't alone. My 10 yr old son is having mood-swings, rages, tantrums, meltdowns---whatever you want to call them over little things. Sometimes I don't know what triggers them. He's now involved with soccer but homework comes first and then there's the meltdown because he's stressed over having too much homework (which he really doesn't have much of in my eyes). I've learned to build in breaks and break up the work into batches. This seems to help. There are times though I just want to throw my hands up and let him take a zero on his homework (but I don't). Any suggestions on how to deal with these meltdowns are appreciated.

Mindy - posted on 05/03/2009

I am soooo happy that you could relate!!! You are lucky to have a diagnosis at an early age. Their brains are completely trainable; teaching them ways of coping with the anxiety, stress, or whatever may "light the spark". Find a good "Behavioral Therapist" who your son can connect with....we went through a few before we found one that was truly on my son's level, looking him in the eye, talking to him not at him, and believed exactly what I did. I chose no medication because I knew there had to be another way and we were lucky. Some families do not have the choice but to medicate. For me the bottom line was that he was young enough his brain was completely trainable; learning and instilling these coping skills. The doctor told me that once he was 13-14yrs. old trying to teach these things to him would be nearly impossible. But he has to have his outlets..... You are doing all the right things!!!! I promise! Keep it up; you will get through it. My advice is just make sure he has "outlets" that he can go to when he needs to release the anxiety, stress, ocd, adhd, etc. etc. Oohhh, the poo thing. If you havent already, talk to him about it, maybe he has the fear my son had, but I explained to my son how very bad it is on his body to hold it in and that he could really be hurting himself physically. I hope you really find comfort and maybe a good laugh (or two!!) on here!!! U R Not Alone ;)

Michele - posted on 03/15/2009

oh my your storie sounds just like or 's i am so glad everything is working out for you!we also do not medicate our son is six and also has TS OCD ADHD .we also do not label him we are working so hard to get him in the right direction we do not ts ocd and adhd for a excuss for things he has done.i really believe the things we are doing with our son are working like i said it is alote of work.like your son are son also will not go poo at school the teachers always think he is ticing when he has to go but won't.i just can't get him to poo at school.it is so funny what you said about lym disease when i came home and told my husband nathan has tics he said the same thing what do you mean lym disease?LOL 

Mindy - posted on 03/15/2009

My son was diagnosed with Tourette's / ADHD / OCD when he was 9.....He is now 15. I have not had a "one size fits all" answer to anything we have experienced. As a baby, toddler, into adolesence each stage was very different. Finally getting the diagnosis that "this one tiny part of him" had a name was (almost) a relief. I could finally be on the same playing field as my son. Before I just did not get it. Now, I jumped in and educated myself about everything available to him, to me. I can say that the very worst tics were between 4th and 5th grade. Mostly 5th grade year. Rough. His neurologist always told me that as he reaches puberty and goes through puberty will truly be the "answer" as to whether they will get worse, same, or improve. In the meantime we tried everything available. Meds were not a fit for us. My son did not like them; neither did I. I wanted him to be able to learn how to handle himself in classroom, socially, in public, etc. So we did behaviorial therapy. Natural Techniques to help him with anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, tics, complusion, hyperactivity. I can honestly say, without a doubt, he is my HERO!!! There is light at the end of the tunnel I PROMISE!!! I used to cry because of the disorder, I still cry because of the disorder but only in that he has become just an incredible young man in spite of it. Or maybe because of it. I just always kept him busy with things. Music, sports, outdoors. And also being able to "function" in social situations. During those 11-13yrs. we always had lots of neighborhood kids around playing baseball, basketball, etc. and the more kids and activity the more frustrated, angrier, louder, he would get then I would have to bring him in, send him to his room. But soon what came is that HE learned to remove himself. He knew when he was leveled out. I would be inside and he would come in and do something by himself. I push behavioral therapy. My son has never had a 504, IEP, nothing. We have raised him just like his younger brother and his response to handling tics, compulsion, activity has been nothing short of amazing. He is very active in sports, music, fishing, hunting, you name it!!!! But my thoughts always came back to "He will be an adult longer then he will be a child. What will he do as an adult?"  When they are young their brains are  trainable. It is work, it takes time, there is no quick fix. But my son is just a completely different person. He is on the "other side" of puberty now or as I used to think "the moment of truth" and tics are less noticable (more under control), his behavior is very mature, and he has developed many hobbies. Much that have been self taught. He is a handsome, athletic, tall (6'3 200lbs) boy and that has helped with the "social' thing at school. Does our phone ring off the hook for him ? No. Does he ask to have so and so over, go here, go there ? No. But that is okay. He is "buddies" with everyone and never complains about social life. He is the one to take the struggling kids under his wing. He had a friend he meant in 3rd grade named Curtis. He talked about him all the time. We were new to the area and school so without knowing anyone yet I had no idea who he was. I did  not meant Curtis until I volunteered the following year in the classroom. Curtis has Williams Syndrome.....the one thing my son never told me. Curtis was funny, nice, happy, smart but not one time did my son ever say he has Williams' Syndrome. He looks different then everyone, he acts different, he can hardly walk. We never talked about it and  they remained friends until Curtis moved to another school in 7th grade. How inspirational is that ? I promise all the Mom's who are struggling with this, weather it be behavior, tics, outburts, etc. you will get through it!! When I got the diagnosis it was like this HUGE light came on and everything in his young years until that moment had perfect clairity.

I have another son 2 years younger who was the total opposite. Never made a peep in the night, never threw tantrums in a store underneath clothes racks, screamed at the top of his lungs if he had to get in the cart, yadda yadda yadda. Oh, the behavior we went through!!

One more thing I would like to add. My son has OCD. It is not the media type we all know "Monk" is a good example. Although, Monk is one of his very favorite shows!!! But my son was not completely potty trained until 4 1/2 yrs old. Up until last year, he would almost poop in his underwear. I would have to throw them out; it was horrible. I finally asked him was he holding it at school ? yes. Okay why would he hold it at school ? AHA before he answered I asked him if he was afraid he would get some on his hands ? yes. Wow, I got it. So, him and I bought flushable wipes and plastic gloves to keep in a place in his bathroom.....so this was a step forward. Now, he goes at school, no more plastic gloves at home. We just agreed that he wouldnt always be places that he would have gloves and wipes but he would have soap and water to wash his hands. To me--Huge Victory!!! 

I am hoping just one mom sees something in my shortened "story of our life" that will help you and your child. It was just never, ever an issue in anything we did at home, out in public, nowhere. It was never in his face all the time, talked about all the time, made excuses for him all the time. It is just a tiny part of him...doesnt define him. And believe me his tics were sooooo bad I thought that he was going to break his neck when had a tic where he jerked his head back. It scared me bad.....they were extremely distracting. I was going to homeschool him for those 2 years but thanks to awesome teachers and thee most awesome, amazing neurologist ever he went to school tics and all. When children teased him or questioned them his teacher explained everything he could about Tourette's and tics. So, then I had parents asking me if he had Lyme Disease ? Because their child had come home and said he had a tic!!!!  HAAHAAHHAA   All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Luella - posted on 03/08/2009

Likely the doctor could recommend a counsellor, however it is also likely that the counsellor will never see one of these 'episodes'. It is so overwhelming and stressful. You mentioned that there were times that these episodes were linked to being overtired, or hungry or there could be many other things. That is a beginning. Also, when everything is calm and back to 'normal' after one of these tantrums/episodes, try to think back, and I'm sure you will remember little warning signs that at the time you didn't recognize. Note them. This is a LONG LONG learning curve and know that likely you will never be done learning, but you're not alone nor is it impossible.

Danielle - posted on 03/07/2009

How can I teach him, when I don't know?  I really don't know how he can head them off before they get out of control since it happens so fast.  I did go ahead and make an appt with the pediatric neuro who diagnosed him with TS, he may be able to refer us to a counselor of some sort, right?

Thanks.

Luella - posted on 03/06/2009

My son has tourette's and he's 14 and a half. He used to have these 'melt downs' all the time, sometimes there was a 'reason' and others there wasn't. It IS related to the tourette's.

The best thing I did was l,ike another poster, find the triggers and employ preventative measures. The other important thing I did, is to teach him how to recognize the signs and deal with them himself as I won't always be there. (like when he's at school)

Now I'm not going to tell you that it was easy, nor am I going to tell you that he never has them any more, but I will tell you that with ALOT of patience and perseverence he's doing MUCH better with them. Now it's like once a month where as before when he was like 8 it was at least once an hour! (no exaggeration)

So the biggest tip I can give you is: Teach your child how to help themselves AND remember YOU know your child better than anyone else.

Kimberly - posted on 02/18/2009

Yes, Faith is also not usually that type of kid either but we have notice almost a personality change.  I think it is just as frustrating for her as it is for us.  Sometimes they are just being upset over not getting her way but over-reacting to it but other times she can just flip for no reason.  She would wake up and come into our room and be all angry and we would have no idea why......woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.  Then be ok again for no reason.  We didn't know which child was going to wake up there for awhile. That is improved thank God but only to be replaced with the daytime flip outs.  She seemed to be ok at preschool though.....or at least no reports of any issues but yesterday she lost it when we got home.  I don't know.  I am at a loss as well but just wanted you to know you are not alone! =) Kim

Danielle - posted on 02/17/2009

Yes Kim - it is "like" a tantrum, but then it SOOO isn't.  For one thing, there is nothing he is trying to "get".  There seems to be no basis for the explosion at all.  For another, he's never really had tantrums in the first place, not in the traditional crying and acting out sense.  I agree that not arguing or anything does seem to make to go quicker. 

Kimberly - posted on 02/17/2009

We have been noticing the same issue with Faith....I call them rages sometimes or jekyl/hide meltdowns......they seem to come and go as fast as they start and for sometimes no reason.  I notice that they are worse and more frequent when she is tired and when I have asked her if her "brain is acting up" since  she is 5yr old and we are just learning about things.....this seems to work.  She says yes it is and that a ball with a poke is in her head hammering her brain.  I don't know the answer and wondered myself if this was part of the Tourette's.  I read somewhere about rage being associated in some kids.  I too would like to know if anyone else has been dealing with this issue.  I find trying to avoid them with advance warning of us transitioning to something else, making sure she has plenty of rest and eats regularly help minimize them but she still has them.  When she does, I find they last ;shorter if I don't escalate them by getting into a screaming match with her and try to stay calm....explaining whatever it is that set her off, what she needs to do to get what she wants, having her go to her room (which she usually doesn't want to do and will vary depending on her level of rage but it can be as simple as a corner, chair, step....whereever until she can calm herself and then depending on what the problem was .....ie if she was in trouble then she still needs to apologize and make right the wrong and if it was just a flip out without an offense....just being able to tell me what the problem is in a calm manner so we can talk about it).  Usually, they run it's course pretty quickly and when they don't and going on longer than needed....if I start to count or tell her she is going to lose something of importance if she isn't able to compose herself....it usually stops.  Almost like a tandrum but usually can tell the difference.....well sometimes.  We are finding this is the hardest thing we are dealing with right now and how to best handle it.  Good luck! Kim