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Just when I thought I had enough to worry about...

Dana - posted on 04/12/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I took my 11 year old son in for his regular yearly check up with the pediatrician. He had been complaining that he's been having trouble hearing. The doctor agreed he should have another hearing screening done since the last 2 she did in her office have come back either borderline or failed. Ok. So that I expected. What I didn't expect is when she pointed out to me that his left leg is longer than the right, which is quite common to have one slightly longer. Except his is so off that it's causing his back to bend to compensate for the extra length and she wants to keep an eye on his growth. How much more should be put upon this poor kid? My heart is hurting for him. I already worry what his future will hold. He's only 11 and already tells me he wants to get married someday and have children. I'm so hopeful for him, but fearful too that he may not have the life he wants. On top of having Tourette's and mild anxiety, he has some sensory issues, cognitive delays, intellecual disability, speech impairment...etc. I don't usually think to far into the future, we take it one day at a time around here, but I think I'm just getting a bit overwhelmed right now. I'm sure I'm not alone, but sometimes it feels like it.

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Marlene - posted on 04/16/2012

Parenting is the toughest job! Our kids with Tourette Syndrome and it's array of co-morbid and associated disorders make it a tougher and more heartbreaking....but..hang in there, you are not alone, although we all often tend to feel that way. It helps to connect with others whether it's online, in a support group, advocates, and sometimes resources that you might not realize are around you.
Other moms in your community with kids who have disabilities or special needs can probably identify with you. I remember this one mother of my son's friend that I ran into in the middle school office one day a few years ago. Her younger son is legally blind, and has other issues to bout. We talked about our kids, school, specialists, mental health - theirs and ours, medications- theirs and ours, she laughed and made me laugh at the realization that I was far from alone or unique. That interaction has stuck with me and meant a lot.
The other part of our community I tap into is the elders. They have many years of experience. I'm a stay-at-home mom, disabled by Fibromyalgia...and associated disorders, but I go to the YMCA and have my women pool friends....which I'm usually the youngest. I am also a member of our local women's club ( community fundraiser/tea parties/informative lectures). This also connects me with the elder women of the community who have a large body of wisdom, kindness, and acceptance.
I'm big on one day at a time and baby steps whenever necessary. When the fear creeps in just try to lovingly release it. Just because we don't always get what we want, doesn't mean good things aren't happening or going to happen. Our children have their own strengths that we can help them find, develop, and fine tune. Because of their own personal journey, and struggle, they will have developed abilities that not all others have. I've seen this in my son since he was in grade school.
My son's speech was still not completely clear at 10, but he started refusing speech therapy around that time. His speech continued to get better and it's fine now at 15. Things like...he had to have help with reading in 1st and 2nd grade. Then he took off! He's been an advanced reader for years now. Having neuro-psychological and occupational testing done, outside of the school system, twice now, gave us key information to work with.
I hope you connect here and there to get the boosts you need to do this big job, feel the best you can, and enjoy the good times!