How do you deal with comments and stares?

Dixie - posted on 04/12/2011

people are going to say thing good or bad but as long as your strong about it they well be too. my daughter is 8 now she got hear aids when she was 5. and we have fun with them them she has blue white and pink. i also got hearing aids with my daughter and mine are bright blue you just need to make it fun. i felt bless when they told she had hearing loss. and not something else that she could still be anything she wanted to. so dont let other make you feel bad

Martha - posted on 05/26/2010

fuck them my severly deaf son can say ball and car have any of them achieved so much with so much against him

we all stare tough so dont be offended i find now that if I see someone with hearing im checking them out to see how there speaking or what and wondering how deaf are they how much SLT they have had etc wish i had a crystal ball then i wouldnt keep wondering

Wendy - posted on 04/20/2010

wow, I love all the replies that you've gotten! My son, now 12, got his 1st hearing aids in kindergarden. The teacher and I did a little presentation w/ my son showing the aids and molds. Then in 1st grade he did the presentation himself. He says that kids ask him why he has gum or erasers in his ears. He really loves to show them off and educating any and everyone. Sometimes I think he watches to find people to tell them about! He even went up to an older guy (who had gray behind the ear hearing aids) and told him that he Really Loved the aids. Then they compared the molds and they guy said that he just might consider colored molds next time too. It was great! Just remember, as everyone has said, hold your head up, love our little guys and hang on for the best ride of your life! Oh, and see if the school system will start w/ speach therapy asap. They are required by law in most states. It's free and your taxes already pay for it! There is also a good health insurance program for 'disabled' kids, I think it's Fed. funded and pays for lots of things through out the person's life. We are thinking about it (my husband was out of work and COBRA ended!) but weren't sure if we wanted another life long lable (my son is ADHD and needs meds to help us parents!lol). But once again: your taxes are paying for it so why not use what you pay for!

Stacey - posted on 04/15/2010

let them stare the world is full of ignorant people but it's there problem not yours people stare at my 6 year old daughter all the time as she is profoundly deaf and has a cochlear she makes some funny noises but if someone politely asks whats wrong i say nothing shes deaf and horrible rude people are not even worth responding to xxx good luck and be proud now u will have 2 languages in your home how good is that xxx

Maree-louise - posted on 02/25/2010

hi,

my daughter is 9 months old and she has hearing loss. she wears a bone conductor in a headband. it looks nice but it has the bits sticking out of it obvoiusly. i used to feel funny about people looking at her because she also has one small ear. (microtia) without the hole. (atresia) but you know, i used to get upset because i knew what they were thinking, but now i just act normal and smile at them and it actually makes them feel uncomfortable and then they don't want to look anymore! then i laugh to myself for making them feel uncomfortable rather than me feeling like crap for my daughter! but afterwards when i feel like crying about it and think of how beautiful she is and how lucky i am to have her here with me! my head gets so overloaded with info that i am finding out, that i do have my moments of breaking down. but to get me through it i just sit and play with her and see just how beautiful and happy she is.

maree-louise

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2010

My son has Down syndrome and a hearing loss. He had his hearing aids at 6 months. I find it interesting that his aids are noticed more than his other disability. I see and hear kids asking their parents questions more than adults staring. Sometimes kids will come right up to us and ask what he has in his ears. I can see the embarrassment in the parents faces when their kids ask. I take the initiave to "teach" their kids about it rather than let them fumble through it or give a wrong answer. Kids are curious and thankfully we haven't had the negative reaction as some of you have had.

Debbie - posted on 02/03/2010

HA! I love the comments! My now almost 11 year old daughter has been thru aides and now has 1 implant.......my favorite fool is the old woman who lectured me in a store when I was attempting to get Taylor to speak more quietly....she says "If your daughter didin't have that racket blaring into her ears maybe she could hear you better"?!! My response, "Lady, if she didn't have all that ear gear she wouldn't hear me AT ALL she is DEAF!" And I said it very loudly.....she crept away humiliated. Not my kindest moment but one does get tired of the commends and stares. We have gone all out with the aides and the implant........brightest colours we could find, all kinds of stickers for the processor and if people want to comment on her "jewelery" well......they best brace themselves for Taylor's retorts now as she doesn't suffer fools gladly and she is very, very happy to have hearing. I must admit......the just plain staring really irks me more than anything and if I have the opportunity I always get in their face and ask them if they haven't seen a cochlear implant before and explain how it works. People are usually very interested, impressed with the technology and very glad they have kids without hearing loss. I call it her bionic ear.....and it is.....Advanced Bionics:)

Melia - posted on 02/01/2010

My daughter is 7 yrs. old and she has been wearing hearing aids since she was 6 weeks old. We decided on the brightest color possible. Educate people awareness is the key. I tell people people that with the aids she can hear what we hear and how amazing technology can be. One little kid asked my daughter last year when she started school what she had in her ears and my daughter told her and the little girl said cool I wish I had some of those. Be confident that your child original and has something special to offer to others.

Catherine - posted on 01/26/2010

My beautiful little boy has some facial deformities as well as a BAHA hearing aid (even some of his doctors had never seen one of those). Sure some people stare, or even worse... turn away, but I don't let it offend me. I look for an opportunity to talk to them and usually I find out that they are well-meaning people who just don't know what to say or how to act. I love it when they have little children because children are not afraid to ask questions. Then I can explain and everyone feels more at ease.
Catherine

Jessica - posted on 01/12/2010

Lisa,
I have had most of my problems with family which is the sad part. They look at Maddie, and because she obviously has a speech delay, they automatically think she has a mental delay as well. I have tried to tell them numerous times, that she is not mentally disabled, but they keep talking to her and treatingher as if she is. It gets to be really annoying at family events when you can see pity in their eyes for your child. I just tell myself something a friend told us, he said dont treat her like she is different, because then she will notice, and think she is different.

Haugh - posted on 01/09/2010

I like Nena child has a 1 CI and 1 HA. I have also been in your shoes. So I have to say from my experiance don't worry about the comments/stares. I had a lady say why would you give your child a blue tooth (only seen CI side) and I said sweet and with a smile it helps him hear through his ears since God made him hard of hearing then walked off. She came back and started asking questions and I was able to educate her but what I noticed is that my son 3yrs old watched how I reacted and when he saw that it wasn't somthing to be ashamed of or scared of but proud that he was who he was and he was no different. That is what you need to worry about your son will get his confidence from you. So many of these kids have low confidence because the parents feel like you and I at one point. I know you area good mom trying to do what is best and I say that because you asked for help. The best advise I can give is be proud of your son, for who he is that way for a reason. It works trust me my son 3yrs old has more confidence that no matter what he is wearing who he is is more then how he looks even his doctors and teachers say so. I hope this helps

Heather - posted on 01/02/2010

It is hard to deal with at first. I am profound in my left ear and have never had anything so when my son was diagnosed it was so hard. I felt like it was my fault. I am so proud of my handsome son. He does so well with his aids. We have cool swirl moulds and he looks great. I agree with everyone on here that says they explain it just like others need glasses to see and we use it as a chance to educate. I have never had any negative responses or issues. Most are very impressed with him, I know we are and are so lucky to have him.

Angela - posted on 12/26/2009

I was once told your own attitude toward your my son Nathans hearing loss will make him or break him, and I thought this was really in line with the feelings I felt when he failed the newborn screening. I went directly to the worst case scenario, profound deafness, and thought this is manageable, not an illness that causes pain just something to learn to deal with. Nate wears two aids since 15 months of age and I have had a pretty easy experience with strangers, people look alot. One time a little girl wouldn't walk by him in a restaurant, I could tell she was uneasy and looking at his ears so I volunteered the info, and she was really not comforted by it, the parent carried her. Other than that I just smile at the starers killing them with kindness as I secretly think shame on you. I love it when other Moms come to me in public and tell me that their own deaf or hard of hearing child is doing well and speaking going to regular school or whatever the case may be, so I feel that I should educate when people ask and be really positive cause you never know when someone in thier own life may need this positive feedback passed along.
Kids usually are more appropriate coming right out with whats that in his ears, I say they are like glasses and help him to hear better and the answer is usually " oh, ok" and business as usual!! I am hoping my son will mainstream for kindergarten and this will change the attitudes of alot of people in our community and foster alot of sensitivity and understanding, I plan on having the state come in and do training with the staff so they know how to deal with it since I will not be with him in school. Now there are no worries since he is in D/HH class all kids use implant or aids.

TAMMY - posted on 12/19/2009

DONT PAY ATTENTION TO THEM AND IF THEY ASK QUESTIONS JUST ANSWER THEM POLITLY IT WILL WILL SHOW YOUR CHILD HE HAS NOTHING TO BE ASHMED OF AND LEARN THAT THE ONES THAT STARES ARE THE ONES THAT ARE JUST CURIOUS BUT DONT DARE OF ASKING QUESTIONS FOR THEY DONT DARE TO ASK

Delani - posted on 12/15/2009

To tell you the truth, I get excited when I see another child with hearing aids, it gives you a common bond with others and makes you relize that you are not alone. I will also have to say that I am somtimes the one staring at others while they are using sign, it is not because I want to be rude or listen in on there conversation it is because I am trying to figure out words... my 5 yr loves to "make up" her own words.. and then laughs as you try and figure it out, what a character! our girls have hot purple and light pink aids and now they even have ear bling that hangs on the tubes that they can change out like ear rings. make them proud of who they are and be proud of them also. Your kids are so special and gifted in there own way. Remember that people stre at anything that they don't consider "normal" it is a nature thing to do, most times they just want to understand and figure things out..

Sharla - posted on 12/05/2009

My reply to this is that not everyone is perfect and we all need some help in one way or another. My son has bilateral moderate to severe hearing loss and wears hearing aids as well. We chose the blue ones and I don't have any problem with the strangers staring at them. And when they do and ask about them, I tell them PROUDLY about my son's birth story and why he wears them. I am very proud of my son and even prouder that he wears them. The community can be so judgemental but you've got to be proud and show your pride in the hearing aids.

Janice - posted on 08/13/2009

I too have been in this situation! But, over time especailly when my son started choosing his colors for the molds...like tie-die and blue with glitter...It would make me cringe when some one would look at my baby like he was weird or different! There were many times where I just started to cry!



I started looking at it from a strangers point of view...They may not be thinking something negitive but they're curious...So I educate them..When I see a person stairing I'll continue talking to my kids look over at the person and politley say "they're hearing aids..they help him hear." When children at the park come up and ask questions I'm more then willing to answer them..I say "some kids wear glasses to help them see well E wears hearing aids to help him hear" Then they go about playing with one another.



I also enroll my son in many different sports and story times at the mall just anything that will intrest him and show the community that he's not any differnt then anyone else...he utilizes hearing aids but, he's still a very outgoing, friendly little boy. When its time for kindergarden people in our community already know who he is and his story so his school life will be fine...People will be like oh yeah I met you and your mom at the store or mall story time or the tball field and I imagine he'll be fine....This has worked very well for us!

Keri - posted on 04/06/2009

I find some of the comments funny more then anything...My son wears a cochlear he has the body worn device which looks like a little box with buttons...We are asked all the time why we let him have an I-Pod at such a young age...or one person thought it was a cell phone. I really do not notice too many stares or maybe do not pay attention. I am always more amazed at adullt reactions,there own children will see his cochlear and ask thee mom/dad what it is and they are shut down right away and told not to ask...I am more welcome to the questions. That poor kid who asked and did not get an answer will have one less thing to know. The cell phone and I-pod comment were followed with a great education on his ear and what it does for him. I like to educate people so they are a little less ignorant. I never was worried about the public reactions when he first got his hearing aids and then the cochlear,I knew from expierence that public and children are afraid of what they do not understand so i make them understand if they ask. My duaghter who is 7 has already learned this to and will inform her friends all she knows about her brother and his ear and after that her friends are fine with that. Some of them ask to learns signs so they can talk to him.

Hold your head uphigh in public be confident and no more tears...Our kiddos need us to be tough so they can be tough. In our small part of the world our kids are no different then any other kiddo. They make messes,talk back(in their own way),hug and kiss and love you no different then any other.In the big world they have one small device on their ears that make people curious. If you notice some one staring too long say somethingto your kiddo like Momma is sure glad they made such a great thing so you can hear me say I Love you!! It gets em everytime!! :)

Portia - posted on 04/05/2009

HI there I have a son who wears hearing aids. I just ignore them... I use to pay attention to people staring at him but now I just assume they are and dont even look at them. I know this may sound funny but you just have to be proud of it. hold your head up high and laugh when people say silly things like is that a mp3 player or whatever they say.

Portia

Kimberly - posted on 04/05/2009

I have gotten used to stares ever since I met my husband, he is 6ft 8 in and I am 5ft 3in. So when my daughter was diagnosed with a hearing loss at age 4, we started on the road with hearing aids. We really don't notice stares and when we do, we don't know if they are staying at us, her, or what. She wears beautiful purple hearing aids and in May will get cochlear impants, also purple. She knows that she wears them because her ears do not work and that she can't hear with out them. I am like most that have posted and invite questions and comments, even the stupid ones, that way these people are being educated on others in their society.

Keep a positive outlook, maybe people stare and make rude comments, but your child can hear with this technology and that is the best thing a mother could ask for their child!

Randi - posted on 03/27/2009

You really can't let him(your son) know that him having them bother you! He will handle other peoples concerns the way you handle them. My oldest daughter has had her hearing aids since she was 8 weeks old and people used to do the same thing to me especially in stores and I just started to tell people what they are. most people have no clue what they even are. Now she is almost 4 and i hear her telling other people that she wears them so she can hear better like when people wear glasses!

Deanne - posted on 03/26/2009

hey well my son Landen is 4 yrs old and he actually has a cochlear implant which helps him hear and Ive dealt with alot of the stares and rude questions.  I just had to realize that my son was happy and healthy and that those people were just ignorant its hard but when you see there faces or hear there comments just look at your child, instantly thats when youll realize that his happiness is all that matters

Susan - posted on 03/24/2009

My daughter is 12 and has been wearing hearing aids in both ears for 7 years now and also using a FM system at school. She had a great teacher in Kindergarten who encouraged her to make a presentation to the class about her hearing aids. The kids had a lot of questions and thought they were cool. The same teacher explained the FM system by saying our daughter was a pop star! We continued with the presentations throughout elementary school and let her teachers know abot the "pop star" explanation. It is always good for a laugh. At home we have always called them her "super" ears. Megan chooses brightly colored molds even now that she is getting older and a little more self conscious.

Also I wanted to mention that some of the people who stare and point may be related to someone with hearing loss. For the first several years after Megan was diagnosed, we started noticing hearing aids and equipment everywhere and pointed it out to Megan, so she would know she was not alone. We are always happy to meet other families with the same situations. We are blessed that our school district has an awesome audiology program and in addition to serving our testing needs, etc., they have helped us make friends with families with daughters similar to Megan in personality, etc., who also have hearing loss. We know she is AWESOME exactly as she is, but I am trying to prepare for when she is a teenager and "normal" looks enticing. I am hoping she always knows she is who she is for a reason and it is all a part of God's plan for her life.

Carman - posted on 03/23/2009

It was really hard to deal with when my daughter was an infant.  People just do not know how to respond to an infant with bilateral hearing aids.  We switched to the cochlear implant when she was three and I heard some of everything.  Most people thought she was wearing an ipod or mp3.  My daughter herself had the best response when a little girl asked her mother what was wrong with my daughter and my daughter quickly replied "There is absolutely nothing wrong with me."  Now when people stare I just say "technology is amazing, I have to remind myself that she is deaf."  Most of the time that embarrasses them and and they look or walk away

Julie - posted on 03/23/2009

Most people giving the stares or making comments just aren't educated and I think you don't get upset....just educate them. I remember once being at a mall when my son was young...not quite 2...and an older gentleman coming up and seeing Joseph's hearing aids and said "oh, I see your son is deaf and dumb." I couldn't believe it! I didn't know what to say. So I said the first thing that came to my mind..."He might be deaf...but he certainly isn't dumb."  Like other replies have stated...turn it into a positive, learning situation!

Cindy - posted on 03/20/2009

My son, who is almost ten, has been wearing aids for well over 8 years now.  We mainly get stares from older people and younger kids.  The older people are the ones who should know better than to stare at a child!  I have been known to look right at them and say "they're just hearing aids."  I have found that when kids stop and stare at Jake he will ask them if they want to look at his aids (they are brightly colored as are his earmolds, too).  I have had several kids ask what is in his ears.  I would rather have someone ask about his aids rather than stare at him.  My son isn't a freak, he simply cannot hear properly!

Cindy - posted on 03/11/2009

My son has had hearing aids since he was 2 and a half years old (he will be 10 in May).  I have found that the WORST offenders of staring and comments are the older people of society!  Those who are over...say...60 or so.  About 2 years ago, my son and I were at our local mall.  We were walking down the mall, talking to each other just like any other parent/child would do and this elderly woman actually STOPPED and stared at Jake's aids as we walked by!  I looked at her and said "really, they are just hearing aids."  She then realized that she was staring and kept moving. 

Most times I just ignore it, but we've had several small children ask about them.  Most kids today have a hard of hearing/deaf child in their school (or possibly in their class) so it's not such a big deal to them.

Pamela - posted on 03/08/2009

well in my situation I have 2 sons that  are deaf as well I have been thru the same situation and at first I had alot of that stuff. The trick is to try to turn it into a positivebecause if they see you react then they are going to react. So I know it is hard but belive me it helped me to do it that way. After a while it just didn't bother me because I thought in my head my kids are just like their's they just can't hear as well. But by all means I do know kids can be cruel but how you handle it makes a big difference in how they are going to handle it. Everyone is going to stare because of the pure curiosity of it it's a human thing. But as you go to the places that you noramlly go to people will get use to it. I have found that most kids are really intersested  and want to know more. Keep in mind this is how I handled it and everyone is different. I hope that this helps.

Pam~

Emily - posted on 03/04/2009

Hello Lisa,

I am deaf mother of two hearing children. Let me give you tell you something. Please do not let them stare or annoy you. They are not fully understanding yet. It is hard at first, you will get used to it. I am used to it when people stare at me, I said is there something wrong, they just walk away. It's time for you to be proud to have two beautiful boys and raise them in a fullest life.

Adria - posted on 03/01/2009

My son, he's two, was diagnosed at birth with a sensori neural hearing loss in both ears.  I was very afraid at first about the whole situation and how society would accept him.  But, you know what, everyone has pretty much welcomed him anywhere we go with open arms.  And as far as the stares and comments, I welcome them.  For most people it's a lack of knowledge and education.  We have a lot of fun when we go out anywhere.  We also do the brightly colored ear molds, we have fun with it.  The more fun you have with it, the more fun your child will have with it later in life.  Conrad calls his hearing aids his "ears."  And I love it when other children check out his hearing aids.  It's so cute to hear their questions about them.  So, I guess all I have to say is have fun with it. 

Live life to the fullest, love often, laugh hard!  Best wishes, it does get easier.

Ahtia - posted on 02/24/2009

My son and I make a very wierd pair at a store. I am hard of hearing and sign so I can understand what is being said. I also walk with crutches (makes it really hard to sign and walk) and my son, who was born with digressive Club Feet, walks very pidgon toed and on the outsides of his feet (he is only 2 years old, and will require some more surgery to fix the problem). We get alot of stares and comments from people. I really don't think about it anymore, and actually I watch all of the other people just to see their reaction. I like to see how other people react. I find it entertaining, because I know they are just curious, and not trying to be hurtful.

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2009

Honestly, they are strangers and I frankly don't care what they think.  I don't pat attention to the stares, I mean, if I were in their shoes, I'd look but NOT stare.  I've had more approaches on from people that know other deaf people or deaf people that sign to us asking if we're deaf as well.  Good thing we're learning sign language.  I've made my peace with the way he is and I'm ok with it and I actually don't mind anyone approaching us to ask about it BUT stupid comments I reply with stupid replies.  That's just me.  Stay positive about it.  I know it can be trying to go through it because at first, i did have mixed emotions but it is what it is.  You can't control everybody and their reactions.  That'll just drive you insane.  Besides, I think babies can sense those feelings and I would hate to have my child worry about it.  I just point out that God has given him a special accessory to help him hear. 

Jamilah - posted on 02/06/2009

Hi Debbie, i did the same when kids or elderly keep staring at my son. . its good to educate those who does'nt know. And my boy proudly showed t his cochlear implants" proudly. And when he entered the mainstreamed school, he answered to friends that God loves him thats why he's chosend to be special. and i gave the same example like yours, 'when u cant c u put on glasses and when u cant hear u put on CI'. I'm glad as he had no trouble at school and his studies..

Leilani - posted on 02/02/2009

One girl asked her mom why my son was wearing locks on his ears! We ignore the stares and comments and answer the questions frankly. Remember that you are teaching your son how to respond when you are not around. You will find that others will not have questions,unless they have a hearing impaired story to share.

Melony - posted on 02/01/2009

Hey Lisa,

I am the mother of a cochlear implanted son and a daughter with a hearing aid.  I love the opportunity to tell anyone who asks what a wonderful miracle of sound my children have been provided.  Many times children will ask pointed questions which embarasses their Moms, but I try to put them at ease and explain in simple terms what my children have.  We have always taught our children that they have "special sound" - and the fact that MP3 and bluetooth devices have come out makes my older son feel less conspicuous.  He thinks they have "special sound" too.  With your first child who's born deaf, you do kind of have to find a way to cope with the stares, questions, etc.  Hang in there, your son is beautiful!

Debbie - posted on 01/28/2009

My daughter first had hearing aids and now she has cochlear implants. Like several of the other mothers, I love it when people ask or make comments because it's exciting to be able to tell them what amazing technology there is today to help our beautiful little girl. I had no idea what cochlear implants were before having a child that was hard of hearing so I know if I had seen a child with those on their head I would also wonder what the heck it was for. Most people just have no idea what it is or obviously they wouldn't make stupid comments. My daughter's is programmed so the lights flash all the time so that we know when the battery is going or if the coil came off. She is not mature enough yet to tell us when she can't hear so that is why we have them on. People see the blinking lights and think she's got some new cool toy and I just say to my daughter "show them your cochlear implants" and she is proud to show them. And some time I tell real young children that her ears are broken and she needs these to help her hear. I also tell my daughter that my eyes are broken and that is why I wear glasses. I agree that you have to make it a positive conversation with other people and not show that you are ambarassed or insulted - because there is no reason why you should be! Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 01/28/2009

Thanks Crystal for sharing that, I really appreciate it!

Crystal - posted on 01/28/2009

I have a son who is 2 1/2 and was born profoundly deaf in both ears. We started with hearing aids and I can remember getting the stares from little ones whom don't know any better. You just look at them and smile. Then when Noah turned 18mths we was bi-laterally implated with cohlear implants. So, now he has much more to wear and that is seen than the hearing aids. Not to mention I have always felt great about Noah and all the great things he has got to learn and experience by being different from all the rest but you know what??? That is what makes them MORE special. It's not only going to be kids that stare trust me I never thought I would have to incounter ignorant adults but just about a few months ago I had a horrible experience where my son accidentally scratched his son on the face at a play ground. Well, he was wearing his body worn device and this dad went off on me...wanting to know what in the world was wrong with my child (although that wasn't his exact words), is he even allowed to play with other children??? Oh my the list goes on and on. He actually wanted to sue me over it. It was a little scratch. But, its people like that, that I just sit back and say, "I'll be praying for you buddy". :) Seriously, what else do you say or do?? Some people just have NO clue and is out and out RUDE. All in all "we" the parents are stronger than that because that is why God gave us what we have. He only gives us what we can handle. ;) Your an amazing mother who only wants what is best for there child...we worry all day about how we can protect our child from being teased from other playmates but honestly they are going to be 10x more stronger and we are when that time actually comes. :) Good Luck!!

DeAnn - posted on 01/27/2009

My daughter is 17 and profoundly deaf.  She has gone thru' wearing hearing aids...didn't help as well as a CI.  When she was younger I was really self-conscious about stares.   I used to glare back and then I got to the point where I just ignored them.  If people want to come up and ask I am more than happy to educate.  That is the issue more than anything.  I remember when I was young..before I had my daughter and how curious I was about deaf people.  If we don't educate them noone will and pretty much most people are VERY receptive!! :)

Stacey - posted on 01/20/2009

My 9 year-old daughter has been wearing hearing aids in both ears for 2 years now. She has a mild/moderate loss in both ears. I have never let her feel like it was a burden and have always been positive about it. The kids at church and at school have been wonderful from the get go. I told her up front that she will come across kids that are not so friendly about and will make fun of her. I told her to just tell them she has "bionic ears" and she thinks that is funny. She is not afraid to show people her hearing aids. She will take them out and show people. She has blue behind the ears hearing aids and one red and one blue earmold that she chose. We were at a store one day and an older gentlemen said in front of her "what a shame" I looked at him and said we consider it a blessing. My daughter will tell you that God has special plans for her and there is a reason for her hearing loss. Her teacher and others have commented on how positive she is and how much she is willing to share with people. I encourage people to ask about it because they don't know what it is like. I tell them to ask whatever they would like to know. I have had comments from people "Is she wearing a bluetooth?" or "What is in her ears?" My daughter plays flag football, basketball, soccer, and tennis. She is also taking drum lessons. She does read lips when she is somewhere that is it harder to hear someone. I have to say I feel truly blessed my daughter is so positive about it. People always tell me "Well you have been positive from the beginning and that has helped her." We found at when she was 5 years old. The person that was the hardest to get through to was her father and step-mother. They just thought she didn't want to listen and then they thought it would just get better.

Lisa - posted on 01/20/2009

Wow, I love everyone's comments, this is great!! Thanks everyone this really helps me a ton!

Kimber - posted on 01/20/2009

We use the general "those help him hear, just like glasses help people see" for the most part. The thing that annoys me is when people assume he can't hear at all, and make remarks like "he can't play because he can't hear the game". My son's feelings are clearly hurt because he can hear, just not as well as hearing kids. I am a more direct in your face kind of person, so when I hear something like that, I do reply with "he just heard your rude comment, you may want to apologize to him." He can also read lips, and sometimes he will come to me upset about something he read. To which I reply "some people will never understand, they are not the people you have to be friends with." Our son is almost 5 and can now answer for himself sometimes, and it is great to see that dynamic come out in him.

Delicia - posted on 01/20/2009

Sahm,



My son is 25 and is deaf through the years I have tried to not let other people get to me. My son is wonderful and talented in so many ways and I just try to educate other people now when we are in restaurants I see people watch us using sign language and just go ahead and enjoy my day and hope that they are learning that each person is a individual and has different struggles. I have one time complained about a life guard in Disney World because of some remarks that they had made because my son did not hear her blow the whistle and the staff was very apologetic. We just have to educate those around us so they can better learn how to treat the deaf. Some days it is easier than others and some days if I am having a bad day it can definitely make me cry not just their comment but, the fact that my child has had to over come things that alot of children do not have tl.

Erin - posted on 01/19/2009

We got our children bright colored hearing aids so that people would ask.  I want my children to have something that they can be proud of if they are going to have something different from other kids.  When other children stare at my son's implant, I just ask the kid, "You want to know what that is, don't you?"  I don't appreciate parents who quietly tell their child to stop looking.  I also don't care for parents who tell their child, "That is just like what Grandpa has," but it is the truth - I am just tired of hearing that line instead of, "Those help him to hear,"  My favorite lines from kids so far:

Why does that kid have gum in his ears?

Why does your son wear spy gear to church every Sunday?

Mom, I can't hear so good, I need one of THOSE!

Yes, most people now think that my kids have MP3 players or bluetooth phones, but either that's the beauty of the technology age we live in or it's stupid that people think I give my little kids those things.  Either way, it's just one of those things that the more you talk about and the less you try to hide, the easier it will get.  Educate so they can educate others.

Nena - posted on 01/16/2009

Hello. I have one child with hearing aids and one with Implants, which is signifigently more hardware. To be honest, I really don't pay any attention to the staring or comments. I love it when people ask...why not educate the people that are interested. I think that the more I worry about it the more my children will pick up from me and that is the last thing I would want to happen. They are normal children that need a bit of hardware to help them out...just like children with glasses! No need to treat them any differently! I also think that we are lucky to have children at this time when everyone has something on their ears...cell phones, MP3 players...why not hearing aids or Implants!

That's how I look at it!

Nena