Young grandmother -to -be.

Lisa - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 39 moms have responded )

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Hi I am going to be a grandmother in June of this year and I am only 38. I am looking forward to it but dont know of any other grandmothers in my area who are my age. I find some people to be quite judgemental...which is very strange. Most grandmothers I know are in their late 50's.



It would be nice to have some postive feedback from anyone else in my postion.



Take care, Lisa.

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Tina - posted on 03/23/2013

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I was 18 when I had my son. It was my responsibility to be the best mother I could possibly be. I worked for minimum wage and was on wic and medicaid. I kept a clean house, kept my child fed, clean and housed. As i grew older, I got a better job, got married and had a second child. It got easier. Today I am a engineer, my son has a good job and my 19 year old daughter is expecting in July. Did I want this? NO. But it happened and I brought her up right and she will be a wonderful mother and will provide for that child as I did for her. Good luck and congratulations.

Jane - posted on 08/24/2012

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Help me here. I have read all of these posts and see how everyone is so positive, but I am not. My daughter is 19 and pregnant and I am 38. I am so unbelievably disappointed, sad and in shock for her. I cant find a positive. I dont know how to tell her it will all be ok, when I know that is a lie. I have been there, dont that, so I know. I dont know how to be supportive when I feel like her life is ruined. My family says just tell her you love her and everything will be ok. I have told her I loved her, but I cannot lie to her. They dont understand how I feel and everyne is judging me. But the truth is my life was horrible, she was abused and my kids suffered needlessly. It didnt have to be so hard. Now she has made it that hard for herself and all I see is her repeating my mistakes.



I miss my daughter. We havent talked in months and dont live in the same state. I have gone to counseling; I AM trying. I just dont know how to see this as a positive. On top of all of it, I have no desire in me to be a grandmother. I have tried to think of the positives, but cant. I have no desire to hear about her pregnancy, go to the shower, or any of that. I have looked for maternity clothes for my daughter because I know she needs them, but not baby stuff. There is such a disconnect there. I am not even trying to feel that way; it just is what it is. I love my daughter and I want to be a part of her life, but just hers. I know this is flawed. I'm trying to do something about it. Save your criticisms. But if you have felt this way, what did you do?

Neta - posted on 08/10/2013

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I am 40 and it was hard when I found out my eldest daughter 20 expecting a baby, due in Feb 2014. Am happy and sad at the same time since she's on her first yr degree studies...hoping for the best for my baby..XXX

Holly - posted on 12/07/2012

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Dear Jane,



I hope that you have come to peace with the fact that your daughter is expecting. I was a young single mother at 19 too. My daughter is 20 years old and she just had a baby boy this week. Being a young mother certainly isn't easy, but it doesn't mean that a woman is doomed for the rest of her life. I can share with you that I was still able to finish school (with honors) and have had a good job and a good life. I know everyone's story is different, but please be careful not to condemn your daughter to a bleak life because it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be disingenuous when you talk with her.



I suspect that at the root of your feelings is fear that she is going to suffer which isn't necessarily true. Of course it is going to take a lot of work, but if she works hard and has support the sky is the limit. There are lots of single mothers who have raised great children. For instance, regardless of your political beliefs, President Obama was raised by a single mother (with help from his grandparents). Bill Clinton was also raised by a single mother. If a child of a single mother can become President of the United States then it seems to me that the sky is the limit. There are others: Micheal Phelps Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer, Tom Cruise, Al Pacino and Demi Moore, Halle Berry. These great children undoubtedly had great mothers who were strong capable women. There is no reason that your daughter won’t be just like one of them.



I wish you peace and hope that you are able to come to terms with this as it sounds to me that you are also suffering because of the fear you have regarding this situation.

Samantha - posted on 06/16/2014

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Hi, I just found out that I will have a grandchild in January. I am 45 and do not want to be called "Grandma" as that makes me think of someone who is 60 or older. I don't think my 22-year old daughter is ready to be a mom as she is still very immature herself but she needs to get ready. I pray that the father stays around to help her out.

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Tania - posted on 11/13/2013

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Hi...I just found out I will be a grandmother in June. I am just 40. My daughter is only 16 and her and her boyfriend who is 18 are keeping the baby. I have accepted this but I am more concerned about my daughter thinking that she is just taking the easy way out. She had always just depended on us her parents and her boyfriend for almost everything. She doesn't care if she gets her drivers licence. Held a summer job only once. She acts like this pregnancy is no big deal and she's not exactly a bright student in school. I'm afraid that when this baby comes she may not care any more about completing those many important steps to future independence. I don't want to see her rely solely on a man for the rest of her life , or think that welfare or that being on it is the way to go. Her attitude just floors me! I don't know what exactly she is thinking. Her and her boyfriend do love one another, and have been together for a few years.. I just don't want her to sacrifice her future. Is this totally out of my hands? Do I need to just let go and let them figure it all out? Any suggestions appreciated.

MONICA - posted on 10/10/2013

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I WILL SOON BE A GRANDMOTHER ON LATE OCTOBER 2013.I AM 49 AND I FEEL YOUNG TO BE A GRANNY. MY SON GOT MARRIED NOT BECAUSE HE KNOCK THE GIRL DOWN HE WAS JUST A PLAIN LAZY ASS SORRY TO SAY.
IT ALL STARTED ON MAY 15 2012 WHEN HE STOLE MY WHOLE SALARY FROM MY PURSE I FELT SO ANGRY AND I JUST WANTED TO DIE.
HE SPENT THAT MONEY WITH HER NOW SHE IS HIS WIFE, WHICH I CAN NOT STAND AND WILL NEVER STAND HER, BEFORE HE MET HER HE NEVER DID SUCH A THING.
BUT I DO NOT BLAME HER, THEY BOTH DID IT.
NEVER WENT TO HIS WEDDING DO NOT CARE ABOUT HIS IN- LAWS I JUST WANT TO TAKE THAT PAIN AWAY AND MAYBE SOME DAY CONNECT WITH MY FUTURE GRANDCHILD BUT I JUST CAN NOT. DOES ANYBODY HAVE AN ADVICE FOR ME? I WOULD READY DE THANKFUL
MONA

Nancy - posted on 10/05/2013

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I am 40 years old and I just found out my 21 year old daughter is pregnant. I have so many mixed emotions. I am at least glad that I am not alone. Not that I would have ever wished this on anyone, especially not our children. I love my daughter and I pray everything works out.

Pat - posted on 10/04/2013

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A plus is you will get to spend more time being there for your grandchild and with a lot more energy.

Pat - posted on 10/04/2013

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I have a 4 yr old and my oldest child a daughter is 23 has an almost 2 year old. I was just shy of 17 when I had her so now I'm a grandma at 40. I can't say it's been easy I live in a small town and have had judgmental comments it feels like forever and now at being a young grandma. I try not to let it bother me but it does sometimes. I work with a lot of judgmental women who have had a perfect life and did everything in the right order. I can't help I take care of myself and look younger than 40 but it hurts to be judged so much. I hide it and am happy about having my grand baby but how do others handle this. Many woman I work with have no kids or stopped to go further in their career or school.

Vanessa - posted on 07/28/2013

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I'm 44 yrs old, I had my first set of twins at 23. My oldest daughter, who is 21 and married, just had my first grandson. My husband and I are overjoyed. If anyone is wondering, my husband and I have 9 kids. Our youngest 3 are triplets are 15 and our oldest who are twins are 21. And yes we were married when we had kids. We got a lot of judgment for having a lot of kids and have a lot of kids so young.

Tina - posted on 03/23/2013

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I am 45 and it was tough at first knowing my 19 year old was going to have a baby. I have excepted it and I am now happy

[deleted account]

I was 41 when I became a grandma. I guess I didn't really think bout that. I was more worried about being there for my daughter who was only 17. Love being a grandma.

Raeann - posted on 08/29/2011

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well, Lisa, i turned 32 a few months befor my granddaughter was born, i was 15 when i had my daughter, she was 17, and hopefully this ends now, this young mommy thing, but i can say that, the other day when my granddaughter turned 3, i played ball with her, and had a blast....we dont se many elders keeping up with the grandkids, and sure they would absolutley LOVE the idea of physicallly interacting with the chikdren, i say, we have to njoy this young grandhood while we are young, rather than wonder what to do about it... good luck with your g-babies, and never mind the judgements, those people are not too far behind you,, and ur children...karma has a way with those tyes... take care!! and HAVE FUN!!!

Cheryl - posted on 01/24/2010

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I was first time grandma at 36. Now I have eight lovely grandchildren. the ages from 15 to 6.

Chaya - posted on 01/23/2010

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Hi Lisa, I was a young grandmother at 41, not quite as young as you. But, I really enjoyed pushing around my grandson, and people always thought I was he Mom and daughter was his sister. I took that as a compliment. Also, because I had alot of energy I was really able to enjoy playing with him. That same daughter had twins this past year, and that grandson is now 14. I really have to say I don't have that same energy now. I couldn't handle waking up at night to help my daughter with feedings, as I could with my oldest grandchild, and the 2 other ones that are now 7 and 9. So, have as much fun as you can with your new grandchild. Remember, you can always give them back, that's the advantage of being the grandma.

Chaya

Eileen - posted on 01/20/2010

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Its kinda fun being a younger grandma. People think you are Mom instead of grandma. Makes you feel good and you can have fun with it. I have two grandkids now and they are the world to me. And their Mommy is a terrific Mom too, so I must have done something right.

Kristy - posted on 01/20/2010

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I was a grandmom (officially Nana K) at 36! I kinda expected to be a young grandmom mainly because I was a young mom and my oldest never did understand the "do what I say not as I do" lectures anyway. But I ABSOLUTLY LOVE being a young grandma. My g-baby is the sunshine of my days and I wouldn't trade her being here this soon in my life for anything in the world.

I guess that's because I grew up without grandparents - they were the typical 50+ age when I was born and had poor health by the time I was old enough to have a relationship with them then they died. So for me to be young enough and healthy enough to play and be highly active in my grand baby's life is a true blessing.

Embrace this gift of being a young grandma is all I can say. Yes, it's gonna be a hard road for your son/daughter to be a parent at a young age but with your help and attentivness to your grandbaby it can make for some pretty tight family bonds.

And don't worry about not knowing any other young grandma's cause we are out here. There are several of us and we blend right in with the new mom's that are our age. The way you can tell us apart is that us young grandma's have a playfulness glint to our eyes that the later aged mom's don't . . . all because we get to send them to their parents when we're tired! ;))

Eileen - posted on 01/17/2010

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I was a fairly young grandmother too, at 44. Though not as young as you, I still got comments. My advice, don't get hung up on it. There is nothing better than being a grandma. Remember all the great things about small children? You get all that without all the bad stuff, like illness, teething, sleepless nights. You get to be the hero with the answers to the problems and step in to help when YOU want to. All you are required to provide is love and that part is easy.

Kim - posted on 01/15/2010

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The heck with those judgemental folks, you'll have alot more energy then us older grandma's. Ask yourself are they judgemental of you or the situation in which your becoming a grandma. My son and his girlfriend have a seven month old daughter, I understand the judgemental thing, some folks have said to me, gee when are they getting married. Im not pushing that, just be good to each other and stay strong for your daughter. OH YEA ENJOY, BECOMING A GRANDMA

Betsy - posted on 07/30/2009

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I wasn't that young when I first became a grandmother, but younger than some. I am 53 now and my grandchildren are 7 and 2. Enjoy your youth because your grandchildren will have the wonderful benefit of having grandparents around for a long, long time. I truly wish that I could have had mine around longer when I was young. Another bonus, is the grandchildren have young aunts and uncles. We took my granddaughter to Disney World this summer for the first time and she had a blast with my youngest children, who are just 17 & 18

Jessica - posted on 07/30/2009

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i am 22 and will be a grandma i know impossible but my step daughter is 18 and expecting in sept my husband is older buy 16 yrs he's 38 and had 4 kids from previous relation ships and we have a 8 month old together so since i don't consider my kids step i love them all the same i will be a 22 yr old grandma cool and wierd all in one

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2009

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I am fixing to be a grandma and I am 35. My step son and his wife are having this baby. I am his only mother because his mother passed away. I am looking forward to being a grandma

Caitriona - posted on 06/02/2009

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Hi Lisa sorry im really late replying, i became a granny at 34 when my 15 year old sons now ex had there gorgeous son Alex who is now 4 he is brilliant we have him most weekends and he is part of the gang, his uncles are 7 and 5 so the house is mad when the 3 of them are together .As for other peoples reactons to me being a granny it is the funniest thing ever as they dont know if im joking or not and i really dont care what anyone thinks just as long as he is healthy and happy and that we can always have contact with him

Angy - posted on 05/10/2009

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I love these stories! My mom had me at age 17 and I had my first at 17. That made my mom a grandma at 34. I have two daughters. I told them I didn't want to be a grandma until I was at least 40. They almost made it. I was 39 when the first was born. I am now 43 and have four biological grandchildren and one step grandson.

My kids and grand kids mean the world to me. They are my blessings and who really matters, without doubt. Don't worry about the judgment of others. Every minute spent on caring what they think or listening to their judgment is a minute you could have used to spend time with or think about your family. I'm sure you already know in your heart that being a grandma is the most wonderful thing to be!

[deleted account]

I was 38 when my granddaughter was born. My daughter was not married and planned to give her up for adoption. When the time came she just couldn't do it. She was 18 anyway and old enough to handle it. I'll tell you we got the full gamit - from the most catty comments to others who gave much love and support. Accept the positives and IGNORE everyone else--they have no clue!!!

Regardless she was (IS) worth it. My granddaughter is now nearly 24. She put herself through BYU in 4 years while working two jobs. She has been married a year and a half and they just bought their first house. She is the best thing that ever happened to our family.

My 10 grandchildren are age 14 to 24. Most of my peers have kids in this age range! Relax and enjoy your new grandchild. This will be a special time to bond with your daughter or daughter-in-law as you share this "miracle" experience.

Remember Jesus loves everyone - even if people don't. People are just mortal and they screw up a lot. That's why we have the gift of the atonement. Think positive and enjoy!

Marinda - posted on 04/22/2009

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I haven`t got any grandkids, but I believe with all of my heart that all babies are a blessing, why would some people frown about granny`s or mommy`s age? (that`s beyond me) Ladies you all enjoy your little ones, and love them, that is all that matters. My 2 sons age 26 and 30 are not keen on the baby idea yet, one`s still more inte-resting in his studies and the older one just don`t have a need for children at this time in his life, they both are also not married. (but we can hope) (laugh)

Bonnie - posted on 04/09/2009

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I'm 38 and have two grandsons. The oldest is 1 and the other is 1 month old. I'm enjoying be a grandmother, its so much easier than being the parent. I'm really looking forward to them getting a little older so we can go so many places that I always wanted to go to but couldn't really afford when my children were little.

Jane - posted on 03/06/2009

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I am 45 and a granny ( and I proudly am called Granny. I get a kick out of peoples reactions when they hear these are my grandkids)to 5 kids. the oldest is six. As to the judgemental stuff overlook it unless it is inside of yourself, then deal with it quickly! I am in a faith based community and I have grandchildren born in 'unconventual' circumstances. any negativity from others I was able to overlook and accepted the grandchild with all the grandeur the gift of grandchildren deserve. The judgemental person will either be turned around or be seen for the hardness of their hearts that they own. I think having grandkids this early is great, even better than having my own kids early. but then as for me, I will enjoy these grandkids of mine with the best of my abilities and am looking forward to the days far ahead when I my be able to see greatgrandchildren. These are a heritage from God.

Sheila - posted on 03/05/2009

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I absolutely love being the young "cool" grandma. I get to play ball, wrestle and do all sorts of activities with my grandkids. I will be 45 later this month. My grandkids are 8, 4, one coming in April, and an older grandson that is my bonus daughter's bonus (step) son, who is just turned 12. The three that are here already are the children of my bonusdaughter - but she is only 1 year older than my biological daughter. The baby coming next month is my oldest biological daughter's. She'll be 27. Not that any of that matters. My grandkids rock my world. Sure, sometimes when we are out, a stranger will refer to me as momma - I correct them and say no, they have a marvelous mom, these are my grandkids! I get surprised looks - (I look even younger than I am), but I just smile a big smile, b/c I feel so blessed. When we arrive at their BD gatherings, they run into my arms and all but knock me down, they are so excited to see me. Don't worry about what others think. It's your family that counts! Congratulations to you on this, the new wonderful journey in your life! You are going to LOVE it!!

Tracy - posted on 02/24/2009

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Hi Lisa,



I haven't been on here in a while so sorry for being so late in responding. I was 39 when my grandson was born and I tell you what...Hes the brightside of life for us! I haven't had any judgemental stuff regarding our situation. My son and his girlfriend chose to get pregnant when they did. They wanted a child and she has endometriosis and was told she should have a hysterectomy to heal her of it. So, she wanted to go ahead and try to have a baby before going that route. They are getting married in October...finally!!!!



Anyway, just wanted to tell you that no matter what the situation it sounds like you're going to love being a grandma. Don't worry about what others say or think just keep loving your family. And just wait until that granbaby starts calling you by name...its wonderful! =]



Congrats, Tracy

Anj - posted on 02/24/2009

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Hiya, I was 35 when I became a grandmother. Don't listen to the people who are judgemental. My daughter had my grandson when she was 16, yes people said things but it has absolutely nothing to do with them so ignore them. He is now 19 and is going in the R.A.F. People used to think I was his mum when we used to go out, it was great to see the expressions on their faces when I told them I was his nana plus I used to get quite a few compliments. Enjoy your grandchild when it arrives, they are lots of fun. (I've got three now and love it)

Judy - posted on 02/13/2009

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Hi Lisa, my daughter had her son at 16 which made me a gramma at 40. Dont pay any mind to these people who look at you strange.. People think I am my grandsons mom but, I am sooooooo proud to be his gramma.. Think about it, as young as we are this only benifits our grandchildren as we have the energy for these very busy little people..Times have changed since we were little, grammas dont have to be 80 anymore.. I also had a young gramma and remember all the fun I shared with her..Hold ur head up high and be proud.. I would rather be a gramma at 40 than a new mom at 40.. I think those women are a little crazy.. lol. Please dont waste ur brain power on the negitive but the positives that will come out of this...If ya need to chat I am here for ya...God Bless

Nedis - posted on 02/09/2009

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You are probably in a larger group of 'Young Grandmothers' than you think!!  I was 35 when my first grandson was born.....Embrace this part of life.  Being the Mimi, sure is much easier and lots more fun than being the mom!!!

Lulu - posted on 02/08/2009

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well your not alone here im 37 and i have a 4 month old granddaughter and another on the way any day now it is great i will be able to enjoy my grandchildren im still young and able to keep up with them and dont let other get you down. yes i had my children at a young age but that was my choice and i wouldn't change anything my mom was 40 when she had my sister and it was had for her to keep up. when she was 10 she was 50 and 20 she was 60 so she couldn't do alot of stuff with her like she did with the rest of us, so i am glad and proud to be a young grandmother or like i call myself Nana. so don't let anyone say its wrong or judge you they are not you.

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