Always has to win or be 1st.

Luz - posted on 02/01/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Does being an only child have anything to do with my sons need to be the winner or first with everything that he does. If he isn't first or isn't the winner, he makes life just miserable for all around.

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Diane - posted on 06/25/2013

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We have an only 6 year old boy and he just breaks down when he loses. We teach him to shake hands when he wins and say "Good game, I hope you win next time." But lately nothing is working. If he sees he is about to lose, all he** breaks loose. We do our fair share of winning and losing and modeling behaviour, but it isn't working!

Courtni - posted on 03/14/2012

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I think being an only child may have something to do with it. If he doesn't have anyone to lose to, he may not understand what it means. I would just keep trying and emphasize that losing doesn't mean he wasn't good enough. Trying is winning.

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Jerina - posted on 06/30/2013

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Thanks for asking this question. Exactly the same question I wanted to ask.
My daughter is five and she likes to be line leader and wanted to be 1st and to win every time. I don't know this will answer your question.

Teacher gave this advice. It is common among kids not to worry. They will grow. Every time we need to remained her, every one needs to get turn.
Another teacher gave me this advice. Not to let my daughter win when we play together just because she will get upset. Teach her how to accept loose and learn from the mistake. Ask question why she loose. And make her think. She will learn to be better player next time.

Sophia Marie - posted on 11/11/2012

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wow... well you better jump in and fix this ... because he will not always win .. and other kids will put him in his place as he gets older..... you know like not wanting him at their party or not wanting to attend his party. you want him to be happy teach him that other people matters.. because he may never have real friends or someone to love him if he cant let someone be a winner and be happy for them.

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My son, now 8 and an only child loves to win and hates to lose. I can't imagine why...both mom and dad are competitive even though we are not onlies :)

In sports or board game situations we fake indifference. We put on our game face and don't even ask if his team won or not. We just "try" to ask questions about how fun it was. Hopefully, if we take some of the pressure off him he may eventually realize its not that big a deal. Now, lets see if it actually works!

Rachel - posted on 03/21/2012

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How old is your son? I ask b/c my son is an only and he had to be first or the winner at all things from getting to the car to games to (literally) putting our straws in our cups for the longest. He is now nearly 7yrs and about 8 or 9 months ago he began easing out of the behavior.



If time-out, reminders, explinations, frustration, redirection, distraction etc etc etc........... are not working to curb the behavior just know that your son will probably out grow it soon enough. As anoying as the phase was, when it was a daily part of our lives, it is behind us and is as much of a memory as teething and diaper rash.

Cindy - posted on 02/08/2012

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My daughter is an only and does not like to loose. We try to tell her she will not always win and no one would play with her if she did. She is not a good looser, but getting better at being a good sport, and understanding other chilldren like to win just as much as she does. Discussing with her other childrens feelings when they loose has helped her to step back once in a while and let others win. (only once in a while)

Brittney - posted on 02/06/2012

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Winning contributes to your child's self-esteem, but children also have to learn that they can't always win. Be aware that kids who always beat Mom and Dad may have a tough time when they start playing games with friends. So it's important to teach children the art of losing, too.

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