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Cries for a "brother or sister"

Sheila - posted on 04/22/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My only daughter is 6 years old, and this year - she has begun crying and begging for a "brother or sister".. crying about how lonely it is at home, she has no one to play with at home, etc..

I am no longer able to have kids, and explaining that to a 6 year old is not working.. I tried telling her that mommy can't make any more babies, but we might be able to adopt one later on in life, but she just doesn't understand..



Any ideas on how to offer comfort for a lonely only?? She longs for a playmate that is not mommy, and unfortunately there are no children in our neighborhood for her to play with. She is a very shy little girl, and doesn't have a lot of school friends to come over, etc. and I don't know how to help her become more outgoing, let alone help her to accept that she is an only child, and most likely will always be an only child, unless we adopt in the long run.



I have tried the pet idea, and got her a pet turtle, but she lost interest in it a week after we got it. I am allergic to dogs/cats, etc - so I can't go out and get her a puppy to be companion for her..

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Angie - posted on 04/24/2009

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I know this is a little off topic, but I work at a vet clinic, and there are a couple of dog breeds that have been shown to be lower (if not hypo-) allergenic. If you really believe a dog would fit into your home, and think it would help your daughter, call your local vet's office and ask some questions. Before buying though, research your breeder carefully, because a poor breeder can end up costing you a lot of money and heartache in the long run. One of my fav's is the mini poodle (not toy, too small). Once you've made your choice visit the breeder and ask to see an adult of the breed (preferable the mother and/or father) to see if your allergies flare up. I don't know if this is a true answer to your problem, but hopefully it helps a little.

Janet - posted on 04/23/2009

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I know it can get frustrating when they fixate on wanting a brother or sister - mine is 6 and he started asking for a little brother a couple of years ago when his friends in daycare all started getting little brothers and sisters...

One thing that helped me was I made a couple of friends at work, these ladies had boys a couple of years older than my son, but they played well together... this seemed to help. My son is very shy around new people, but it seemed that when he sees me being friendly with the other kids and their parents, he's more open to talking to them.



Another thing that helped my son overcome his shyness and approach other kids, is I would take him to McDonald's (or Hardee's, etc.) with a playplace, and once he starts climbing around in those pipes, he loses a lot of his shyness - he likes to play pirates, which requires him to talk to the other kids ("Argh, ye maties") whether he means to or not, LOL. We had to go at least 2 or 3 times before he was comfortable going in and playing with the other kids.

Once that started, now he easily makes friends with other kids on the playground, etc... but it took several months of - I guess you could call it "conditioning" - to get him the confidence to do it. It was hard, because I first had to overcome my own difficulties with approaching people, to show him how easy it was. :)



Now that nice weather is here, you should also be able to go to the school playground in the evenings - most of them are open to the public after 5pm - perhaps she'll be more open to making some school friends with you close by.



I am certain you will find the best way to work through this. We're all here for support.

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