Does Anyone feel judged for being a at home mom?

Kimberly - posted on 06/09/2011

I have been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born. She will be going into Kindergarten in the Fall, and I have not regretted being at home with her for a single moment. I was there for all her "firsts." We have a wonderful relationship. Everyone marvels at what an exceptionally sweet person she is. I will go back to work part time when she starts Kindergarten, but these have been the best years. I got to go on every field trip with her at Preschool. I volunteered alot at her school and the other kids told her they wished their moms could do the same. It doesn't matter what other people think about you. It DOES matter how your child feels. Enjoy your baby because kids grow up really fast. I still cannot believe she will be in Kindergarten.

Karen - posted on 06/09/2011

Hmmm. I think maybe you are not comfortable with yourself being a stay at home mom. When you are used to working full time, then you stop to be a full time mom, its hard to accept. You just have to realize that your current job as a mom is just as hard, if not harder.
Most of the time when people judge it, they are jealous. I am very comfortable with my title of home maker/mom and if someone doesn't like it, they can stick their opinion where the sun don't shine!
I cannot say I have always felt this way. Before I was ever a mom, I was a home maker and I had my issues with accepting it. Now I wouldn't trade it for the world! Would it be so bad if you never had to go back to work? I think not :)

Louise - posted on 04/15/2011

I just want to say to meghan what a lovely and touching post.Your an inspiration to all mums,and your son would of known you loved him and you were there till the very end.Your right about the me time thing ,Woman dont know how lucky they are to have healthy children and they should treasure every minute they have with there kids.I have 6 kids and i love every minute of it.I get asked silly things such as-are they all yours?in other words are they all by the same dad? yes they are!! or where do you fit them all? in other words -do you live in a council house? no in a 6 bedroom house.People are judgemental before they even know your life story but i just think so what.Your not providing for them.Carnt wait to see peoples face when they see im pregnant with number 7 (due in oct) but i love being a mum and teaching them things and playing with there toys and cleaning ect.When they say i love you mum/dad.Any way all you SAHM your doing the best job ever and its harder being a SAHM than going out to work,as your dealing with all the tantrums,sleepless nights,potty training,and at least you see there first steps,or hear there first words ect.Its the best job in the world.And your child will love you to bits,I say any one can have a child and give it to a nursey to look after how many can give up there life for a short time and bring them up themselfs?

Louise - posted on 04/15/2011

I just want to say to meghan what a lovely and touching post.Your an inspiration to all mums,and your son would of known you loved him and you were there till the very end.Your right about the me time thing ,Woman dont know how lucky they are to have healthy children and they should treasure every minute they have with there kids.I have 6 kids and i love every minute of it.I get asked silly things such as-are they all yours?in other words are they all by the same dad? yes they are!! or where do you fit them all? in other words -do you live in a council house? no in a 6 bedroom house.People are judgemental before they even know your life story but i just think so what.Your not providing for them.Carnt wait to see peoples face when they see im pregnant with number 7 (due in oct) but i love being a mum and teaching them things and playing with there toys and cleaning ect.When they say i love you mum/dad.Any way all you SAHM your doing the best job ever and its harder being a SAHM than going out to work,as your dealing with all the tantrums,sleepless nights,potty training,and at least you see there first steps,or hear there first words ect.Its the best job in the world.And your child will love you to bits,I say any one can have a child and give it to a nursey to look after how many can give up there life for a short time and bring them up themselfs?

Ilene - posted on 07/22/2009

I have never been happier than the last five years that I have been a SAHM. When I first had my son, I thought at some point maybe I would have a second child but that never happened. Now at 42, I don't see it happening either. What will I do with my time? Well, volunteer at his school! I've spent two years volunteering at his preschool and have really enjoyed spending time around him and the others and watching them grow and develop. He's going to Kindergarten in the fall and I have already put my name on the list to volunteer at his school. I'm looking forward to it. So I guess I'm not a true "stay at home mom" but I do take care of him whenever he's not in school.

Alison - posted on 07/22/2009

All moms are judged for staying at home, but you get it even worse if you are a mother to an only child. People say things like: "you only have one child, why do you need to stay at home?" Just because I only have one child, doesn't mean there is no benefit to staying at home with him.

Amrita - posted on 07/21/2009

I know exactly how you feel. I too am a stay at home mom, and like you I could take the decision to invest my time in my daughter, and I did. I felt like the decision was a good one because I wanted to be there for all her big milestones and I also wanted to be there when she needed me. Now she is three and will be joining preschool shortly, and I do plan to get back into the work world too.

I have seen the judgement in other peoples' faces at so many levels. I think people do not understand that those of us who choose to be stay at home mothers are taking a decision after evaluating our own circumstances and our own beliefs, and perhaps other people do not respect, or even understand that. This silent judgement has the capacity to undermine one's self esteem and that is a trap. I think we need to feel proud of what we give to our kids by being at home at a point in their lives when they need us and they cannot understand us being away. If we have the option we should exercise it. If we didn't I am sure we woudl have found a way to be good mothers under those circumstances. If anything we deserve more respect, because we make more sacrifices in order to be good mothers. dont't worry. You are neither alone, nor paranoid. you are just a mother, and doing a great job. So hang in there!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/20/2009

NO you are not alone. I stay at home with my 17 month old daughter Nadine and people are like what do you mean you are a stay at hi=ome mom, how can you do that you should be at work. I do think being a stay at home mommy is hard work with keeping up on everything and you are there to teach your child things and enjoy things for the first time that you might other wise miss. I am so thankful and blesses that I have the option to stay at home. We dont hae money rolling in from all kinds of directions but we take care of daughter and live just find. We dont go without anything and people jsut think you must live ina box on the street. When you break it down we are only losing a few hundred dollars a month because after we would of paid childcare it just didnt make and mind to work. You are not alone and sont think you are. You are one of the few blessed people who is able to stay at home and raise there child and enjoying all those special things that happen as they grow.

Kimberly - posted on 07/20/2009

I don't think you're paranoid. We came from parents of the me generation and I think a lot of that thinking is still in existence today. We are not defined by our jobs. And you are right... being a full time mom is tougher than anyone can imagine. You are on call 24/7 and your kid is totally dependant on you because they are used to it. But, they will develope better capabilities of forming meaningful and lasting relationships. I always get the what do you do question followed by the oh, uh huh reply when I say I'm at home with my daughter. But, to be 100% teacher, entertainer, administrator, chef, doctor, all around parent is tough work and requires a lot of energy. Don't be ashamed, and if you are "only a mom" for the rest of your life, be proud of it. At least your children will grow up with warm memories and feelings of security because you were always there. They will be better people for it. I'm not poo pooing working moms, because my sister is a full time working mom who puts her all into her children when she's at home. But I'm just saying there's no reason whatsoever for you to feel bad about being a mom. :-)

Jacki - posted on 07/18/2009

I totally understand what youre saying. Even people that dont have children can be so opinionated about how youre taking care of your own. I was always a workaholic..working 6 days a week sometimes 12 hour days until I got pregnant. Then I slowed it down to 40 hour workweeks. Then my son was born with 4 different heart defects & underwent surgery at 5 days old & again at 6 months & a final one is scheduled for next month. (he's 2 & a 1/2). After the first surgery he was being sent home on many medications, feeding tube, numerous machines & rules & too many things to check him for daily & do for him round the clock. His surgeon asked if I would be able to be a SAHM to do all this so I quit my job. No way was I trusting anyone else to do all these crucial things & his father makes more than enough. I plan to work again when hes in the clear and done with surgeries, but in the meantime his fathers family, yes...FAMILY has done nothing but put me down for being unemployed. I miss working but I will never feel guilty for staying home with my son no matter what anyone says to me & neither should you. I feel I kept my son at his healthiest & happiest & nothings more important than that. Kudos to you & all the other SAHMs. It is the most demanding job there is because you're working 24 hours a day. Its also the most rewarding. Anyone who would criticize a mom like me who stayed home to care for her son with special needs, or any SAHM that just wants to care for and raise their child full time, has no idea what being a mother is really about.

Nikki - posted on 07/16/2009

I know that I get judged for being a stay at home mom but I really don't care. My husbands family talks down to me because i choose to stay home with my child instead of going to work. But I believe that its best to have at least one parent at home so that your child is being raised by you and not someone else. My mother was a stay at home mom for most of my life and Im thankful for it. We stayed out of trouble and we always had her there to support us in whatever it was we chose to do. She had a nursing degree but decided that we were her number one priority. They taught me not to care about money as long as theres enough to make ends meat. I have seen my daddy provide for us many times on minimum wage. We never went without. So don't let anyone make you feel like your job is unimportant cause being a mom is the most important job there is. And its 24/7. We don't get any days off, and you know what I love it. I have stayed at home with my child since she was born. I worked a part time job when she was four and I felt like I never got to see her. She started crying alot and getting into trouble because she wanted my attention. I quit that job when we moved and have not went back to work. She started kindergarten and I started college. And hopefully when I get out of school I can find a job that lets me work the hours that she is in school, or lets me work from home.

Colleen - posted on 07/12/2009

Never. We're expats, and I'm on a spousal visa, so by law I can't get a job. I was asked this question my some Indian Moms at my son's preschool, and I joked that the Indian government didn't allow me to take jobs away from them. ;-)

Colleen - posted on 07/12/2009

Never. We're expats, and I'm on a spousal visa, so by law I can't get a job. I was asked this question my some Indian Moms at my son's preschool, and I joked that the Indian government didn't allow me to take jobs away from them. ;-)

Jenny - posted on 07/07/2009

I was a full-time stay at home mom from 2003-May of last year! I had a few people telling me to go back to work, but the reason I didn't til now is because my money would have gone to daycare and that wouldn't have helped us financially at all.

Hope - posted on 06/28/2009

Oh I wanted to add, Hope, I have defied the odds and done a number of things I am not supposed to be able to do - like travel for extended periods with my son - as a single mom. One thing I THINK you need (from reading your posts) is a paradigm shift in your thinking. You have to stop thinking that your stay at home mom's job is not a job. You have to believe within yourself that it is a very important job, career even - then you will never need to feel like you do not have a job as you indicated above. People have opinions about whatever. There is an old saying, "Every asshole is entitled to their opinion." - (don't mean to be offensive). If I had space I could tell you some of the numerous negatives I have heard. "DON'T LISTEN!" Be convicted of your own actions. Then the beliefs of others will not matter. DO NOT be a 'people pleaser'. Examine that in all areas of your life. All the best to you and to your family! - from Hope in Toronto. PEACE!

Hope - posted on 06/28/2009

Hope, I just want to say to you, very simply. "DO NOT let people with screwed up priorities make you doubt your choice to 'Be There' for your children. Develop a bond with them when they are young. It will pay off 'Big' Time' when they are teenagers. I have seen it in my family. How could any job be more important than raising another generation and shaping the world by that action? So many of those moms that 'you allow' to put you in doubt about your choice, probably wish they had the 'courage' to do the same. So many PLY their children with games, toys, gadgets, but have NO TIME for their children. Again, I repeat - don't listen to people with screwed up priorities. Peace. from another Hope

Kathryn - posted on 06/27/2009

I feel like when i talk to people and they ask me what i do that they judge me for that.. I really don't care what they thing beacuse i feel like im doing the right thing and i love my job being a stay at home mom

Vanessa - posted on 06/23/2009

And I will also tell you he doesn't make much more than min. in the state that we live in but we have learned the big difference between needs and wants. We live with in our means even if it means living pay check to pay check. We do it because we want our daughter to be raised by us not any one else. The saying it takes a village to raise a baby... well do you know the background and where the each of the village people were raised and do they share the exact same parenting views you do. NO one will ever raise your child as good as you will.

Vanessa - posted on 06/23/2009

I am a stay at home mom and I plan to home school my child so no you are def. not alone. My husband actually catches most of the "Crap" for me being a stay at home mom. Many women and men at his work think that I must be lazy to want to stay at home or that I don't love my daugher because I don't go get a job to buy her everything! We are not about materialism and we do provide for her on one income. Do not ever let ne one tell you what you are doing is selfish or wrong and do not let them look down their noses at you. When it comes to be a mom I think the best moms are those that actually are willing to be a FULL time mother and stay at home. And you know what, it is harder to be an at home mom verses working because you are with your children every day without ever taking a break and you must clean the house prepare the meals get the laundry done and you are constantly training your child not allowing someone else to raise your child. I personally feel that those who put their kids in a day care taking the easy way out while they are at work. They are expecting others to raise their children instead of offering the warm and safe and loving enviroment the child needs. Way to go for you stepping up and being a woman!

Carol - posted on 06/22/2009

I know exactly how you feel! I am a single mum and I felt my priority should be raising my child. When people realise I don't work, they look at me like I'm the worst parent in the world because I'm not out there earning money to provide for my child. I would rather raise my child myself than have someone else do it for me. I know in some circumstances, there aren't any other options, but for me, I had no option but to be a stay at home mum. There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent and, like you, I will return to work when my child and I are both ready for it. Chin up! You're not the only one! :)

Sarah - posted on 06/21/2009

This is such a two-way street. I'm a full-time working mom who can't stay home (I make more than my husband, and I have much better health insurance), and I get judged all the time for not staying home with my now 4-year old daughter. I have a great deal of healthy respect for moms (or dads) who have the money, time, and temperment to stay home with their kids, but it's just not for everyone. I think that I am setting a good example for my daughter by being able to balance work, family, and everything else...I'm teaching her that women can do whatever they want.

Rachel - posted on 06/16/2009

My husband and I are both attorneys, and I quit working FT once our son was born. I still do overflow paperwork for the firm, since it keeps my license active and gives us a little extra money. However, I have noticed I always feel the need to tell people this when they ask what I do or other personal questions. And then I wonder why. Anyone who has been a stay-at-home mom knows you aren't sitting around twiddling your thumbs. Still, it can be aggravating.

Brenda - posted on 06/12/2009

My mom stopped working shortly after my younger sister was born. She didn't go back until we were both in school. I have a flexible job, so I work around my hubby's job. I am reminded constantly about how much more I would earn if I went back to full-time (40 hrs isnt?). The other reaction I get is how maladjusted she must be since she isn't in daycare. We are not crazy to want to raise our kids ourselves!

Lynlee - posted on 06/07/2009

Definately there are people who judge you for staying home with your child. It's just the times, when women are now expected to work the same as men and to stay home longer than your maternity leave is considered odd. Few of my friends stay home full time and I initially felt like a wierdo and a slacker to do so but I'm glad that I can have a break from work for a few years til our children go to school and it's a great chance to do things that you cannot when you work, like do some volunteer work or learn a hobby, write a book etc. It's so nice staying home and less stressful than my previous job!

Samantha - posted on 06/06/2009

I know how you feel. I feel like people judge me slightly because i stay at home with my almost 16 month old. Like you, i do plan on going back to work when she reaches school age. Right now though i enjoy staying home with her. My husband and i talked alot about whether i would go back to work after she was born, but with the cost of daycare, it really wouldn't make much of a financial difference if i went back to work, since most of 1 of the paychecks would go to pay for daycare. So we decided i would be a stay at home mom. People who judge me badly or think that i have it easy are mistaken. I never realized how hard my mom worked as a stay at home mom until i became one. I say just try to ignore the judgement (i know, easier said than done) and know that you aren't alone. *hugs

Lin - posted on 06/06/2009

Don't feel bad about it....you can call it homeschooling your child....to work in an early childhood education environment, all you need is a HS diploma/GED, and as I told my parents, you are your child's first teacher.

Don't take any garbage off of anyone, either. Even though my grandmother was a SAHM, she (as well as several other family members) regards my mom (who is still caring for a mentally challenged child) and myself to be at their beck and call. According to my grandmother, its acceptable for one of her child not to even so much as call her on Mother's Day, because he works so hard, yet if my mother doesn't drop whatever it is she is doing right this second (which, btw, is settling my grandfather's estate so Grandma can have access to her money, as well as nursing my grandmother's dog back to health - how many people do you know would clean diarrhea off a irritable dog's anal area on a regular basis) she is a horrible daughter and sics the 5 other siblings after her. And apparently I'm just as bad, according to her, but that's a different story.

Maureen - posted on 06/05/2009

Just remember not everyone is in the fianancial position to be able to spend an extended time at home. And we are not able to walk away from careers for extended periods of time either. Opposite side of the tracks, do not put down women ( and men ) who balance their time between career, being a Mom, being a wife, being a housemaid.

I consider myself fortunate to have finally worked myself into a 3 day wkly position. Hoping it lasts in this economic climate . And, my husband is self employed and I do admit we're a bit spoiled that I could reduce my hours. I say cheers to all parents as we all juggle our lives.

Angie - posted on 06/04/2009

I have been a Stay at Home Mom for 7 years my hubby and I always said I would go back to work part- time when my child was a year old. I did and I would sit at my desk all day and look at his picture. The part-time job turned into more and more hours and I decided with child care tis is not worth it. Since I have stayed at home I have been so much happier i'm room mother at my child's school, and do a lot of volunteer work at my son's schoole and other places. Sometimes I wounder how I even had time to work!! I do do administrative work for our company we run but that is done out of the home. I love being at home still even if my son is at school age I think if I did work where would my son go during Christmas break,fall break, summer break and other days off school.

Lauren - posted on 06/02/2009

First of all, you do work and it's called being a stay at home mom. I stay at home with my son and my husband and I decided this is what we wanted before we had kids. I noticed people look at me funny at first and then I realized that I didn't need to impress anyone. You staying at home for as long as you can with your child is the best thing you can do as a parent in my opinion. We live in a society that looks down on stay at home moms, but we also live in a society where a lot of children in the school system are children that don't get to be around their parents much and it is causing many issues. ( I was a teacher before I had my son) So, keep up the good work and try not to be discouraged.

Delicia - posted on 05/31/2009

Hi Hope....First of all, we stay at home moms do work! So when people ask you what you do, you say I'm a stay at home mom :-) We work the equivalent of two full time jobs a day!!! So be proud. Hold that head up! Don't get me wrong, I definitely know where you're coming from. Just stop being paranoid...

Vicki - posted on 05/29/2009

The ability to stay home with your baby is a huge blessing.


Can you find any small part of it to be thankful for? Sometimes we get stuck on the negative part, but there is usually some good in there too. Staying home isn't for everyone, and that's O.K. too. Would it help if you started keeping a list of pros and cons?.





Worrying too much about what other people think can be counter-productive. As long as you know in your heart you are doing what's right for YOU, the rest is just nonsense. It takes some practice to stop imagining what others think, and to stop reacting to it. Good luck.

April - posted on 05/28/2009

I envy stay at home moms! I think if you can, than you should! We are not in a position right now for me to stay home with my son, and I often feel guilty about it. I feel like I'm missing so much. He'll come home with a new phrase or skill and I feel horrible for not being there when he learned it. I feel that people give me dirty looks because I am unable to stay home. I think sometimes SAHMoms often judge working moms for not caring enough about their childrens' well being to stay at home. I did not have my child so "other people can raise them" either! So as YOU should not feel bad about staying at home, I should not have to feel bad for choosing to work. Whatever a woman chooses for whatever reason, I agree with wendy, you do not owe anyone an explanation :)

Wendy, good luck with school! Thats awesome!

Wendy - posted on 05/25/2009

My daughter will be 7 in July and I have not worked since I became pregnant with her. I knew I always wanted to be a stay at home Mom. Fortunately I have been able to. Now that she's finishing 1st grade, I'm going back to school...it's exciting! I get so many mixed messages. You can't please everyone all the time. You get looks because you're a stay-at-home Mom, then you get looks when they hear you're going back to school to start work again. LOL Then they start wondering if there's money issues???? Good grief!!! Again, don't worry what others think and just keep doing what's best for your family. You owe no one an explanation.

Pamela - posted on 05/07/2009

Staying at home to raise your future man or woman is the noblest cause there is. I never was a worker bee anyway so I don't mind.

Rabecca - posted on 05/05/2009

Dont you fell bad one bit you are doing your child the best thing in the world right now giving them stablity and a familier envrionment to grow and learn in not to mention just getting to bond with you , among so many different benifits to many to mention.I have carried so much guilt around because I have always know that staying home with your kids is the best opption but I was a single mom and that was never an opption for me when I did have my son and in truth felt proud to be able to provide for him without any kind of outside assistance but as long as I can remember I just wanted to stay home and take care of my kids before I returned to the work world you can really tell the difference in kids whose mom stayed at home and those whos didnt. So feel proud it's not easy to stay home and shape lives you are very blessed to be able to do so

Hope - posted on 05/01/2009

Thank you guys..I feel much better about it now..next time I feel like I am getting a judgmental look on someones face cause I am not working and staying home with my daughter I will eventually come up with some wise ass comment to shut them up. hahaha Like I said earlier once she goes to school I will be out in the work world.

Erika - posted on 04/29/2009

You are not alone! im sure alot of people feel that way! but for me its not just people...when they hear i am a stay at home mom to my 4 year old they actually thinks its great! Its my in-laws!!! We recently moved to New jersey from Arizona because my bf got a great job offer (Nj is hi hometown as well) so instead of finding a job before we came out here he said dont worry about it because he will be making more than enough to support us! That way i can spend alot more time with my daughter! but his parent are constantly asking me when im going to get a job and then they talk about me behind my back....like im a gold digger or something! It really hurts because i think of them as my family! being a stay at home mom was not even my idea! tho i wanted to be stay at home mom but i didnt plan on it till we had more kids! but you know what we shouldnt even care! Our children are the most important thing and They are what matters! dont even let other people get you down! you are doing whats best for your daughter!

Alaina - posted on 04/29/2009

I say be proud of what you do! Most people judge because they are jealous they can't stay home too! My mom stayed home with me and my husband's with him. I wouldn't have my life any other way. I did not have my son so someone else could raise him. I worked in child care for 5 years and I spent more time with those children than their parents. that is sad.

Meghan - posted on 04/29/2009

NEVER feel bad about being a stay-at-home mom! Being a SAHM is not about you it is about doing what is right for the child you brought into the world. Here is a letter written to Dr. Laura who by the way has a book called In Praise of Stay At Home Moms. You might want to pick it up for some support when you are pummled by a world that does not always support SAHMs Here is the letter...



I was the proud mother of a wonderful child whom my husband and I lost when he was only 10 years of age. Although he had significant medical issues throughout his young life and subconsciously I knew his time with me might be shortened, that knowledge could never prepare me for the immense hole in my heart upon his passing.



When I read and hear about women complaining about their children and their lack of "me" time my heart shutters. Although wonderful things continue to happen in my life, I have a husband and extended family who love me, I travel, I have a job that provides me with both professional and personal satisfaction, and just recently I completed a graduate program, no accomplishment in my life will ever be as wonderful and satisfying as being my son's mother. He has been gone for 13 years and I still long for that voice to call me mom.



So thank you for your valiant efforts to wake mothers up the joys of mothering. The last words my son spoke to me were in the middle of the night, 24 hours before he passed away. He woke up and said, "Mom," and I got up out of my chair to ask what was wrong and he said, "I just wanted to know that you were there." He promptly fell back to sleep and to this day, I am thankful that I was there.



Signed,



Proud to be Andrew's Mom

Hope - posted on 04/28/2009

Thanks for the response guys makes me feel better that I am not alone on that. I went to a Maple syrup festival last weekend and the one lady chuckled cause I said my occupation is a full time mom..which I would say is true cause being a mom is the hardest and most important job in the world. And I don't want to miss any important milestones in her life right now. And good advice yes I should hold my head up high and not give a hoot. Thanks again for the response.

Deanna - posted on 04/27/2009

You're not alone...a lot of SAHM's feel this way. I used to stay home with our daughter when she was young, and went back to work part time when she was about 4. I never felt bad about it one bit!! Enjoy the time you are able to do this with her!! It's the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for her! When people ask you "what do you do" you can always respond with, "the most important job in the world....I'm a stay at home mom"! And hold your head up high!! There's always going to be someone out there who'll look down at whatever stage you're in life. The trick is to find people who share common interests and values. Pooh on the rest of them. Stop feeling bad! You're doing a great thing for your daughter and yourself! :) Way to go!

Deanna - posted on 04/27/2009

You're not alone...a lot of SAHM's feel this way. I used to stay home with our daughter when she was young, and went back to work part time when she was about 4. I never felt bad about it one bit!! Enjoy the time you are able to do this with her!! It's the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for her! When people ask you "what do you do" you can always respond with, "the most important job in the world....I'm a stay at home mom"! And hold your head up high!! There's always going to be someone out there who'll look down at whatever stage you're in life. The trick is to find people who share common interests and values. Pooh on the rest of them. Stop feeling bad! You're doing a great thing for your daughter and yourself! :) Way to go!

Joyce - posted on 04/27/2009

nope..you are not a paranoid and you are not alone..because even me..i never been work since i give birth to my son..he is now going 3 on July..i don't care what people say..i care what my son needs now. i'm proud to be a mom to my son.