Does anyone know any adults who are happy to be only children?

[deleted account] ( 77 moms have responded )

Hi everyone. My husband and I are looking for other adults who are happy to be only children. We feel like there is a lot we can do for our son, who is 2, when he is small, but we're both close to our siblings now as adults, and our real concern about stopping with one is what his life will be like when he is grown. Unfortunately, we only know a few adults who are only children, and all of them felt very strongly that they didn't want to replicate that experience for their own children. Are any of you only children yourselves, or do you know any only children as adults who are happy with that?

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Gigi - posted on 06/14/2013

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I am an only child and was raised by older parents. I had a very small tribe of family that I grew up with. My parents made sure that I socialized with others and was in many different type of sports, arts, music, different cultures etc. As an adult I believe that being an only child gave me a good self esteem, able to entertain myself when needed, was able to have a close connection with self (know thyself) which helped with others.

Over the years there has been different stereotypes about "only children" being spoiled, selfish, can't play well with others. This is totally incorrect, however, a parent can spoil an only child or all of their 10 children. I think it depends on the environment you grew up in. I was always focused on others with compassion and empathy.

Overall, these were the cards I was dealt as an only child. It was a good experience and I liked it, however, there have been times I wish I had siblings. In my perfect world, my siblings and I would get a long perfectly. I talk to my friends that have siblings and sometimes they don't get a long well. With this, then I feel fortunate to be an only child.

In life, no matter what cards you are dealt there are positive and negative aspects to it. You make the best with what you have, what you want to become and don't compare so much of what others are and how different they are from you. You become grateful and thankful for what is similiar and different.

As an adult I had a great experience growing up as an only child. It was a unique experience just like everybody else.

Dee - posted on 07/03/2012

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I am Mom to an only child, 6 years old. She has no first cousins. It seems like we are the only ones who struggle to find playmates. Everyone else either has siblings around or cousins. I see loads of pictures on facebook of friends kids with their siblings, cousins, or friends from the neighborhood all having fun. It is really distressing for me that my daughter doesn't have this despite my constant efforts to find friends, community to surround my daughter with. I am so scared of her being alone when she is older and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. It really saddens me. I work my butt off trying to expose her to things where she might make lasting relationships. It is a full time job and one that often doesn't pan out into anything. Everyone else seems to be so busy with their multiple kids, extended families and neighborhood friends ... none of which we have. I don't know what to try next ... or maybe there is nothing I can do and it will just be up to my daughter when she is older. I just feel so responsible. I would have loved to have another child but couldn't.

Alison - posted on 07/09/2013

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I am the only child of an only child (mother).
Perhaps my view is skewed because my father died two weeks ago but I was absolutely adamant (despite 37 hours of labour and an emergency caesarian with my first daughter) that there was no way I would want just one based on my experience.

I am not one who confirms to the 'spoilt only child' stereotype. Both my parents were/are rather distant. I think that if you can offer an only child a stable, balanced and open-to-friends childhood then they will not suffer. I did not have this as my parents were focused on themselves; my mother in particular. To be an only child to indifferent parents leads to insecurity and loneliness. I have friends who have only children who are amazingly balanced because they take the time to ensure that they socialise and are not spoilt but just equal to every other child and are encouraged to interact with their peers and enjoy their company. I only achieved this when I went away to university.

As a 50 year-old I have seen the support that siblings offer. My husband recently lost his father but had the support of his sister (who he isn't close to at all) in that time because of their family bond. At such times, with no extended family, an only child feels isolated and irrelevant. I have literally no family apart from my mother now and she is just being herself.

I saw what happened when her parents died and the ensuing distress at being alone. I would wish this on nobody. Hence my decision to have two daughters. I see now how they care and support each other and even when they argue I feel jealous because I only know being alone.

What is clear is that it is how you parent that is important in the formative years. if you have an extensive family then as an adult an only child will feel part of that but if your family is small and dispersed your child will experience a sense of isolation, especially at times when 'families' get together. This has dogged me all my life as I dread birthdays and Christmas because nothing happens.

Personally I would give the world to have a sibling at this moment in time. It is inevitable that parents will die but an only, insecure child lives with the anxiety of that for the whole of their life. Even before the event there is the fear of being totally alone. When it actually starts to happen it is that fear made real and I currently know what that feels like. You would not wish it on anyone.

Cheryl - posted on 01/25/2009

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Hello! I am an only child and I have an only child. I always said that I would have at least 2 kids but I didn't realize how hard it would be until I had one. I really like being an only child because I did not have to compete for my parents attention like so many of my friends did. I was also able to be involved in a lot more things since I was the one and only. I have a great relationship with my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Also my son has lots of cousins so he definitely has people to play with and grow up with. There are downsides to either choice but I feel that I can provide more for my son if he is a one and only.

Wendy - posted on 03/08/2012

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I wouldn't exactly say i'm happy being an only child, but I have learned to live with it. My main concern as an only child is being solely responsible for my parents as they get older. It worries me.

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Karen - posted 2 days ago

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I'm an only child myself. I have 3 girls of my own. Growing up before I turned 10, I wanted a sibling. My guess now is that every child wants one by that age. My mother couldn't have any more children and that was that. The years passed and I got over it. Yes my life was a little more lonely than the average kid, but I learned to enjoy my time and my space. Initially, I wanted to have at least two children of my own due to my personal experience as an only child, but now that I have 3 girls (which I love) but are a hand full. Considering all the expenses of having a bigger family vs a small one, I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea for some couples to have just 1 child. I always feel a little over crowded in my own home cause I was used to be just me :/ I love them, wouldn't change it but, I also loved being just me!°

Chofis - posted on 11/09/2014

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I am an only child and have had a positive experience. My parents got divorced when I was a toddler and my mom raised me by herself. She had several committed relationships over the years but never wanted to expand beyond one child. We had a very close relationship, she was my best friend, the person who I confided all my concerns and questions. Even when I was a teenager we were very close. I was an easy going child and teen, never had to fight for attention or resources (we didn't have a lot) and because of the close bond with my mother I really did listen to her and took her advice. I've made my own family now by choosing a hubby who is family centered and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. As an only child I think you learn to value relationships with others b/c there's no "automatic" bonds.

User - posted on 10/28/2014

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Hello; I am an only child and because I liked that experience I decided to only have one child. I think the bottom line is that you can be happy in ANY family size or situation if there is love and security. Of course, the opposite is true as well: poor boundaries, neglect, and abuse will result in unhappy children. I find this to be a very interesting topic because it does hit so close to home. I think many people suffer from "grass is always greener syndrome". Some only children assume that their lives would have been better with sibs. Who says? I've known many people who hate their siblings. Just because you have them doesn't mean you're going to grow up to be best friends. Your son will be fine because you love him and care enough to worry about things like this. Now stop worrying so much and just enjoy your family, whatever it's size turns out to be. : )

Melissa - posted on 06/16/2014

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I am so sorry to hear some people have such ill feelings about being an only child. Fortunately, my son has 6 cousins, so right there... he has family once my husband and I pass away (which I hope will be a looooooong time from now!) Hoping he will have a wife and family of his own by the time we pass, so that he has them to help him cope with it all. He already makes friends very easily and is very personable. Its all about parenting when it comes to helping our children become independent, but also to choose their friends wisely. We must be strict about who they spend time with. Hopefully my son will meet great friends and find a good wife and have a family. This is what I hope for. I know there are many positives to being an only child too. To the people who say that an only child will be selfish or spoiled.... its all about the parenting. Good luck to everyone.

Here are some positives of having and being an only child: http://mom.me/mind-body/7917-10-amazing-...!/mind-body/7917-10-amazing-things-about-beingand-having-only-child/

JC - posted on 05/19/2014

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Sorry to say but almost 30 here, and seriously hate the fact that I'm an only child. I resent my "family" to the point I don't speak with them. They don't understand how an only child developed, understands things, and their social strife. Put in culture and you have a whole other problem into the mix. I'm surprised I'm still alive and didn't suicide years back. Although don't really understand exactly what the point is. I'm just going to get that dreadful phone call saying, you mom is dead, attend her funeral and spread her darn ashes in (list locations). Never in my life have I ever received emotional or any form of support. I'm used to living isolated. I've learned to grow to despise people.

Miesha - posted on 04/29/2014

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Yes I agree with the attention part. I am an only child of a mother who had siblings, even though I enjoyed it in my childhood, my mother missed out on giving that kind of attention I needed as I was growing up past 12 years old. My friends had siblings so they didn't feel like being bothered and we didn't have any money, so my mother was concerned about necessities of life. So I didn't get to experience childhood or a cool teenage life like I could have if she would have directed me where I could excel and how etc. So it took me a VERY long time to step out of my shell and become comfortable which stunted my growth as an adult. SO DEFINITELY please don't smother him, but any resources you can give do it..and let him be the individual he was created to be :o)

Miesha - posted on 04/29/2014

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Yes I agree with the attention part. I am an only child of a mother who had siblings, even though I enjoyed it in my childhood, my mother missed out on giving that kind of attention I needed as I was growing up past 12 years old. My friends had siblings so they didn't feel like being bothered and we didn't have any money, so my mother was concerned about necessities of life. So I didn't get to experience childhood or a cool teenage life like I could have if she would have directed me where I could excel and how etc. So it took me a VERY long time to step out of my shell and become comfortable which stunted my growth as an adult. SO DEFINITELY please don't smother him, but any resources you can give do it..and let him be the individual he was created to be :o)

Day - posted on 04/17/2014

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Hello, well I have two big head brothers that I love dearly. We were so close as children I wouldn't have given that up for the world, being the only girl. We are older now living our own lives. You grow and have your own family. I have n only child but she has a lot of friends friend friends and is loved. I think that's the most important, that the child feels loved.

Raquel - posted on 03/03/2014

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I am an only of older parents. I've always hated it although there have been some positives that came of being an only. My strengths that come directly from having been an only are that I'm strong and fiercely independent. When I want to do something, the last thing I'd think of to do is call someone to see if they'll join me for a trip to the mall, or to see a film or go to dinner, things I find most women do. I absolutely enjoy my me time and prefer it. I'm self-centered which if you look at it from a positive view, makes me a survivor, someone not likely to be abused, victimized or taken advantage of. On the other hand, I was so sheltered and protected that I went out into the world utterly unprepared for socializing, how to make and keep friendships and men - especially men. I have 2 daughters and always recommended that if they chose to have children, to have either more than one or none. I am my mother's sole caretaker. No, I cannot recommend one child if there is a choice.

Erika - posted on 08/06/2013

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I was an only child (and I was adopted... and the only from my bio mom). My parents best friends also had an only child (also a girl). We were like sisters to a point...our parents often bought us matching outfits. Lol.

My husband is also an only. We both had pretty normal childhoods. Sports, school, friends...not wealthy and not poor.

I often wished for siblings, but I got to bring friends on a few vacations which I thought was pretty cool! I probably had a few more opportunities that I may not have had otherwise, but I wasn't spoiled. I have noticed I am at a loss when it comes to my kids and their relationship. They fight like cats and dogs, but are fiercely protective if anyone tries to bother their sister! Probably due to being all girls and only a year apart (one 9 and twins 8).

Paige - posted on 05/26/2013

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I am 34 and an only child and I love it.I have never been spoiled or bratty while growing up.I am very happy and I am also a very giving person.My father was also an only child so I don't have any Aunts or Uncles either.People know that raising a child is expensive and in my opinion should only have as many as they can afford.

Patricia - posted on 02/05/2013

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It was like being an only child for me since my Sister was so much older than me and we have never gotten along or talked in many many years. We also have an only child who loves it. She is always telling me how great it is to be an only.

Lara - posted on 10/23/2012

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I am an only child and so is my son. I loved being an only child. My parents had plenty of time for me. I had many experiences that many of my friends missed out on because their siblings had other activities and they had to juggle between kids. It wasnt until both my parents passed that being an only child meant I would be alone. I had always had them and even after my dad passed, my mom was there. When she died in 2010, we moved to be closer to my husbands family (he has four brothers) and I started to wonder what it might have been like. I wouldnt say I am unhappy because I loved my childhood but I am lonely. Of course, my parents struggled with infertility and they were in their 40's when I arrived. That might make a difference. That being said, my son will be an only child. I, too, struggled with infertility and he is a miracle to me. I do not intend to adopt again and unless God sees fit, I will never give birth so he is an only child. But my husband has a big Italian family, so lots of cousins for my son.

Dj - posted on 10/10/2012

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I am an only child, now 50 something, married and very independent. I did love being an only child as I did have a lot of opportunities to go everywhere with my parents, though they didn't have time for me to be involved in kid activities. As an adult I feel somewhat alone and worry about losing my parents one day. I never wanted an only child and luckily had twins first then 2 more children and love watching them interact. It is what you make it, I have a friend with 2 children and she feels she does not have time to be involved with her kids activities. I was at all my kids sofball, volleyball, wrestling, PTA meetings, concerts, tournaments, dance recitals including College events--some parents don't show up for anything or encourage their child or children. I have given many other children rides home and dinner. Just love and be there for your only child or for each child. It is how many children you feel you can enjoy.

Chandra - posted on 07/10/2012

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Yes! My best friend is an only child and she is very, very happy! She and her husband had planned on only one child (he has siblings but he is estranged from them) but they ended up conceiving twins (naturally even!!)

But I have asked her many times about our daughter, who is an only child, by choice and circumstance and she says that we should not be concerned. She had moments here and there where she felt it was unfair and desperately wanted a sibling, but other times where she totally relished the one on one attention, spoiling, and all of the other benefits that came from being an only child.

Do not worry, you are doing what is best for you, your husband, and son, and he will be fine - and happy!!!

Bethany - posted on 07/07/2012

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I am one of six kids, but I have a five year old who will be the only child. I am very close to my siblings, but we never got to do many things we wanted because there were so many of us and not enough time and money. My husband is one of 4 and feels the same. We want our son to be able to play multiple sports, try new things, and have what we couldn't. We couldnt afford to give him this if we had more than one child. You don't have to worry about being fair, sharing your attention, and splitting your time between sporting events. I know SEVERAL people who said they were happy as only children. They are all also extremely close to their parents and I LOVE THAT! My husband and I have payed special attention in developing our son's social emotional development so he would have no problem making friends since he doesnt have siblings to play with. It has worked! He makes friends EVERYWHERE we go! He is also very close to his cousins. I agree with Cheryl, there are benefits and negatives to both sides. I don't think one outweighs the other and I do get tired of people trying to tell me otherwise about me having an only child. I guess I am the opposite of the adult only child wanting more than one of my own.............I am the adult one of six child who wants only one of my own! lol. Good luck with your decision.

Gail - posted on 05/29/2012

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Thank you Angela, I feel the same. My family members that have grew up with a lot of siblings are not close and depend on their friends as family. An only child can benefit more in society since everything cost so much, and there are more opportunities for the only child to get involved in many things.

Angela - posted on 05/29/2012

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I am only child and 27 years old, and I'm happy to have been an only child, and are pretty sure we're going to have an only child. Because I was an only child I got to go with my parents to places my cousins who had more siblings didn't get to go, I was able to have more one on one time, but I had lots of cousins and close friends who to this day I'm still very close to growing up that were like brothers and sisters. It was like having the best of both worlds, and I'm hoping our baby will be really close to my family (we get together ALL the time) and me and my husband will be able to give our baby a lot of advantages that having two we wouldn't be able to give them. Which I'm still very close to everyone I grew up with, and my husband who had more siblings, loves his siblings but aren't as close to them, and wasn't growing up.

Gail - posted on 05/09/2012

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Yes, I have a friend that is an only child and loves it, she says she likes all the attention on her and having all the things she wanted. She is a good friend and believe it or not she likes to share, and she is very giving. There hasn't been a time she said when she wanted a sibling, she had friends and mom and dad that thought of her every need.

Kasey - posted on 05/08/2012

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Im an only child. And loved it until I had children and they don't have aunts/uncles and my friends are all at different phases so they don't have kids. As an adult it makes me wish I had siblings to connect with etc. But as a child I loved it. I chose to have two bc I don't have siblings my.kids will have each other as adults and as they lose me and their dad when we are older they have each other to help each other in the event our health deteriorates past taking care of ourselves. I wouldn't want to go thru taking care of my sick parents alone esp being they are divorced or losing them alone. I have my husband but I still think it was a good idea to have 2 to help take care of each other if I'm not here.

Kasey - posted on 05/08/2012

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Im an only child. And loved it until I had children and they don't have aunts/uncles and my friends are all at different phases so they don't have kids. As an adult it makes me wish I had siblings to connect with etc. But as a child I loved it. I chose to have two bc I don't have siblings my.kids will have each other as adults and as they lose me and their dad when we are older they have each other to help each other in the event our health deteriorates past taking care of ourselves. I wouldn't want to go thru taking care of my sick parents alone esp being they are divorced or losing them alone. I have my husband but I still think it was a good idea to have 2 to help take care of each other if I'm not here.

Supriya - posted on 03/09/2012

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Me and my husband both have sibs...I wanted two and he was always sure for only child..thats bcos of difference in situations and attachemnt with our resp sibs.. And since then I have been looking for cases to convince me too and have luckily found many :-) Yes ..as cheryl said here..there r downsides to both but weighing the pros and cones, we too felt having an only child ...giving her all we can...and being healthy parents to her with enough time and facilities for her is much more impt than just giving her company..I too have many cases in our relatives who are no worth with sibs...so we thot better bring up her the best and save for our oldage rather than being a burden on kids later :-)

Megan - posted on 03/07/2012

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I am an only child, my husband is an only child and our daughter will be an only child!!!

I was never lonely as a kid. I had plenty of friends and when I wanted to be alone there was no one to interrupt my thoughts. My parents were able to provide me with everything I ever needed and did not have to struggle to provide. I had a very, very close relationship with my mother which if I had a sibling I do not believe that would have happened.

Growing up my best friend was also an only child. Many people thought we were sisters because we were so close, we even fought like sisters! I actually had quite a few friends that were only children and none of us were ever lonely, spoiled brats or selfish.

Viv - posted on 03/02/2012

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I think it is hard to imagine not having siblings if u have not experienced it and vice versa. Your child will be fine as an only child.

Kathy - posted on 12/07/2011

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My best friend grew up as an only and loved it. She had half-siblings beginning at around age 12 but she never lived with them. I have another friend who grew up as an only and loved it too. She is very close with her parents.

[deleted account]

I am an only child who is an adult. I am generally happy as I don't have anything else to compare it to. Growing up, only children were the minority; most of my friends came from bigger families. But I had lots of cousins with whom I was and still am very close. The hardest part was when my parents became elderly and then passed away. That was a challenging time for me, but with the love and support of my husband and children I was ok. The number of children a couple decide to have is a personal decision. People will always have opinions, positive and negative. Everyone's experience is unique to them. If you raise your child with love and acceptance and provide opportunities to connect with extended family and friends they will grow up to be happy, loving people. Contrary to popular opinion, only children are not necessarily "spoiled" or "selfish". Children in big families can have those characteristics. I hope this is helpful to you.

[deleted account]

I am a happy only child. There was nothing i ever wanted for, my folks always had time for me, talked to me, we went places together, i grew up in a neighborhood so i had friends,and i could send them home when i grew tired of them, i had a million cousins same with them. I have a little half sister that didnt live with us until i was 17 and she was 9 and i saw the difference, my parents were tired and busy, their patience was thin. My husband grew up as number 5 pf 8 children and to this day resents his mom never had time for any of them because their were so many of them and she was always working. All of them half get along today. I have one child and plan on keeping it that way, if i have another in about 4 or 5 years it will be because I want another one, not because my child needs a playmate. I love the time I have for him.

Sapna - posted on 08/25/2011

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HI..I have only 1 son, 13.He is perfectly happy and so am I..but I do give credit to all the activities he is into and all his cousins that he is close to...This kept him busy all through his younger days and he was a happy kid..Interaction is the key...Only child should not necessarily mean Couch Potato...it could also mean more time spent together...more talks..more sharing of responsibilities..cos he would then have no one to blame ,"its not my turn"...

[deleted account]

It is so funny you post this as I have a friend with whom I had this very specific conversation with...she is an only child and says she will not do that to her child, but I have challenged her!. I feel strongly that a decision to have another child should about you are your spouse, not your child. The child doesn't have the child, nor do they raise the child. If having another child is right for you...then go for it, but don't do it with the expectation that your chidren will duplicate the close knit family/sibling unit that you have. Sometimes siblings don't get along as adults. I have an aunt that no one has spoken to in 10 years. Sad, but true. I do have other friends that were only children and they don't have the strong opinion that my other friend has...they feel it is about celebrating with your child the joy of what you have, not for what you don't have! Which brings me to my second point with my stubborn friend...her parents did have a second child who either died before birth or right after (not sure which,and have not pressed for details) This is a family that is feeling the loss of a child, which I am sure transferred to my friend. Something was always missing...very sad, but I am sure this happens with many families. If she had been an only child, because her family had decided one child is enough, I wonder how her experience would have been different.

Nothing on this planet is set in stone...and you can't predict the outcomes. So you have to do what is best for you in the moment. I have an only child...she will not have a sister who will be her maid of honor in her wedding, or her children will not have cousins from her side of the family...but even if she had sibiling, there is no guarantee that these things would happen either. What she will have is a strong sense of familly...regardless of it's size!

Katrina - posted on 08/03/2011

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My husband is an only child, and he doesn't have any complaints about it. He was also the only grandchild on his mother's side & loved it.

Stephanie - posted on 08/03/2011

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I am an only child and so is my son and my cousin. None of us feels like we're missing anything. Some of my friends are like siblings to me, we're so close so I never felt I lacked companionship. My son can have fun without being dependant on others to supply it. It depends on the parent's attitude. If the Only constantly hears that Mommy wants a baby, they might feel they aren't good enough. Encourage your Only to get involved and find friends but don't forget that there is nothing wrong with alone time.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/31/2011

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I am an only child, as is my husband. I am more of a loner, while my husband is very social. He played sports and was very involved with school and his friends. I did not play sports and had few friends. We are both happy that we were only children. I wish, though, that my mother had gotten me involved in sports or some type of group. I'm pretty sure my son is also going to be an only child. You can offer your child so much...not just monetary items but attention.

Teresa - posted on 07/14/2011

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My 7 year old, only child son, has a best friend 1 and 1/2 years younger than him. When his mother got pregnant with their second, his friend said that he already had a brother, my son. They still see each other as brothers from a different mother, and dad, but hey are that close, he also has a female cousin a few months younger than him and he gets alot of time with her, thus, he has a sister. he is in cub scouts and has a good friend at church his age. He was in day-care from 15 months and I have to tell you, my "only child" feels very unalone. it depends on how social your child is. My son exudes personality and loves people and he never expresses that he feel alone. He's neve told us he wants a brother or sister. I know only children adults and they are mostly happy, I say mostly because we all have our down moments. I would not give ,y younger sister up for I love her dearly, but she lives in AK, and I'm in NC with the family and our mom so I am kind of like an adult only child. I miss my sister but I do have a couple of close friends that ARE my sisters. Just bring your child up to be haapy and content with what he has and get him involved. My son is in cub scouts, and takes Tap and Hip HOp with his "brotther" and that has only added to his "sibling" time. Of course there are things only siblings share but once a person is grown, and they have been taught self-esteem and being content, i don't think it should matter much.

Shari - posted on 07/03/2011

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I am sort of an only child...what I mean by that is at 9 months old I was adopted and raised my whole life as an only child.....I had two older half siblings, on my biological mother's side and a half sister on my biological father's side all of whom I met as an adult...anyway.... I am happy to be an only child growing up I had friends and have always been sociable but I have never really longed to have someone else around. I grew up with horses and was in 4-h all through high school I also had a car at 16. I helped pay for them and I was to have a job from 14 on but I loved being an only child.
After discovering that I am the meanest person alive when I am pregnant (I'm really not exagerating I have the worst pregnant reputation in 5 years at work no one before or since was worse than me) and after losing over 78 lbs my husband and I are happy with one very special little boy.

Sarah - posted on 07/01/2011

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My cousin James was an only child. He is happy and confident and very socialable.

Wilma - posted on 03/12/2009

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I am an only child raising an only child. I am 44, my husband is 46 and our son is 9. My parents passed away 364 days apart when my son was in Kindergarten and 1st grade. (Two Halloweens in a row spent signing cremation papers and two Veteran's Days in a row spent spreading ashes. LOL) Seriously though, I enjoyed being an only child. I never thought about it really. It was just "our family." I have a cousin four years older who is an only child also. They lived back east but we spent summers together at their house and I think we both got all the "sibling togetherness" that we needed during those summer vacations. We aren't in contact as adults though because I can't stand his wife. :(



My husband is the youngest of four in a spread-out family (his oldest nephew is six months older than me) and he has an on-again, off-again relationship with one brother who is 16 years older than him. That is it. When their mother was in her final years it was my husband who was here for her. He might as well have been an only child. The brother I mentioned did come out to help clear out her apartment and would probably have been here if she had died a lingering type death but she went suddenly--not unexpectedly, but suddenly.



The thing that I feel badly about for my son is that he has no grandparents. I cherished the three I had and miss them almost as much as I miss my parents. My son misses his Grampy horribly. He was six when my father died and it really hit him hard because he and Grampy were as one. Grampy was his favorite playmate. The loss of my MIL wasn't too hard on him because he was only three and my mother had Alzheimer's and so his memories of her are in a group home rather than as an active part of his life.



I don't feel that my parents did me any injustice by only having one child. We all enjoyed the freedom of just being the three of us. As an adult I am glad that my family is the same way. We are 100% complete.

Kendall - posted on 03/11/2009

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I my self am an only child, i have grate relationships with my parents always have and i think that because i never had to fight for their attention. they were able gave me everything i ever needed wether it be attention or cloths and i always felt loved. i had lots of friends and family to play with as a child so i was rarely board and i was good on my own reading a book or playing. Also my husband and i really just want the one we have, he came from a 2 kid family and was constantly feeling left out and dos'nt want that for our's.

Meghan - posted on 03/11/2009

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I am happy as an only child because of the amount of attention that I got as a child. There is no sibling rivalry and no bs fights over who likes what and what is mine and what is their's. If you feel that you can spread the love around to more than one child then I encourage you to do so.



However, it is A LOT easier to find people willing to babysit for just ONE child versus several.

Dawn - posted on 03/10/2009

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my only is 19 and he would not trade it for the world, he has young cousins but love to come home to quiet, since he was young only wanted to be an only

[deleted account]

Hi I grew up an only child and loved it. I am still self reliant and hope to pass it on to my only child. yes it was boring to not have a built in plsy mate but I made friends and have an active imagination. As long as you raise your only with close family ties it really shouldn't be that big a deal. It will become a big deal if family ties are not strong when you reach the golden years of your lives. Especially if either one of your find yourself in poor heath, then it becomes quite a large load to carry alone, please build strong family ties.

Pamela - posted on 03/08/2009

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I, too, liked being an only child 'cause of the attention factor. My parents also did a GREAT job of being the ones who had other kids over, were the sleep-over house, etc., so that there were friends around a lot.

Vicki - posted on 03/08/2009

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I'm an only child and have never felt I missed out by not having siblings.  I am a very independent person and learned how to be happy on my own and at the same time learned how to make good friends who are like family to me.  I have no second thoughts about my son being an only child.

User - posted on 03/07/2009

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Jennifer, Thanks for asking this question.  I had been struggling with having an only child for the last couple of months, but after reading many of the posts on here, I feel better about having just one.

Lisa - posted on 03/07/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:



Does anyone know any adults who are happy to be only children?

Hi everyone. My husband and I are looking for other adults who are happy to be only children. We feel like there is a lot we can do for our son, who is 2, when he is small, but we're both close to our siblings now as adults, and our real concern about stopping with one is what his life will be like when he is grown. Unfortunately, we only know a few adults who are only children, and all of them felt very strongly that they didn't want to replicate that experience for their own children. Are any of you only children yourselves, or do you know adult only children who are happy with that?




HI Jennifer - I'm an only child and though I wanted a sibling (older) when I was growing up, now I'm quite content to be an only child, I must say.  From time to time, I get concerned about my parents as they age, but other than that, I'm enjoying my life as an only child!  My ex-husband is an only child as is my daughter.  My daughter is doing well because my ex and I are on the same page with raising and co-parenting her.  My family and my ex's family (though smaller than mine) is close to my daughter too.






I believe a big part of my contentment as an only child was the extended family support that I had growing up.  I'm the first grandchild on my mother's side and I have 4 first cousins, the oldest of whom is like a brother to me.  Plus, I'm close to my mom's siblings and some of my father's extended family too.  I believe providing a close extended family experience (by blood or friendship) is  the key to helping only children not turn into proverbial "spoiled brats".






Hope this helps....good luck to you and much peace and many blessings to you and your family!






Lisa








 

Melinda - posted on 03/06/2009

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My husband is quite content being an only child, me I have a lot of brothers and sister and I am not very close to any of them. My husband enjoyed his childhood to the fullest and wants to provide for my daughter everything we can and we feel we couldn't do that with more than one child. I have lots of playdates and interaction with other kids and my child is very social

Rae - posted on 03/04/2009

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Hello... I dont know if u have found the answers you were looking for... or if your child still an "ONLY child"...



Im a 37yr old female & I am an ONLY child! (also a Mother of an ONLY child) ... I gotta tell you pressuring my mom for a sibling came & went quickly! ... I think it was more the influence of OTHERs who would suggest more children- someone for me to play with.



As a child the "make-believe" buddies/scenarios are endless... & as a teenage it was a WAY to unfold... your communication skills are put thru the grind! ... ONLY bringing you to a heathier adulthood! ... YOU know communication is KEY ... & as an Only child that gift, comes 2nd nature! ... Insight, comprehension & compassion all will intertwine.

... nuturish it ... condition it... encourage it! ... feeling ONLY can be rewarding!!!



Ms. Rae

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