Hello, as you know i'm new to this,my question is my only child(23yrs) and male , when will he leave

Mel - posted on 07/27/2009

Hi Melanie, my name is Melanie too!!!

Its nice that your son is so close to you, and he sounds fairly independent, I think you really just need to explain to him you would like time to yourself and suggest you go flat hunting with him, maybe find a small place close by so you guys can still visit each other, he won't feel so abandoned!


He needs to be an example to his own kids as well by showing them that their dad is independent of his own mother!! good luck!

Melanie - posted on 07/26/2009

Start talking about all the things that would be nicer without mum around. For example: bringing girls home, having the mates over for a 'few drinks'. Mention you would like to do these things. He has two kids ask him where he thinks they will be at 23 and would he have a problem with them living at home with him?



You have raised him to become independent and now he is you want him to move out and create a life of his own. There is nothing selfish about that.

Rebecca - posted on 07/26/2009

Does he have full custody of his kids? Maybe he's afraid he won't be a good Dad on his own. You are obviously a wonderful Mother that maybe he still needs you as a good role model mother-figure to his children. You should encourage him to go and do stuff with his kids like take them to the park, to other kids birthday parties, sporting events. Then that will build his parental confidence. What about guy friends or girl friends? Does he play sports with any of his guy friends? Is there a special lady in his life that maybe they can do stuff togther with the kids. Help him to become a confident parent and an independent person and then he'll want to move and have his own space.

Donna - posted on 07/25/2009

Good morning mothers, i read every reply and you all are so right, he pays his share of the rent, he has a car, and he have a job, he is the only boy in my whole family, my sister have 4 daughters, and they all spoil him, but the biggest thing is, he is so attached to me , that it's a shame. I'm tired now

Donna - posted on 07/24/2009

It depends on his reason for still living at home. If he is suffering from unemployment, disability, addiction, depression etc then he needs your support mentally and financially. But if it is just convenience, then it is time to have a firm date set that he will need to get his stuff together and go out on his own.

Michelle - posted on 07/24/2009

I would charge rent and maybe even give him a bill or two that he has to pay. It might help a little!! Good luck!

Kimberly - posted on 07/24/2009

I'm a single mother of a 22 year old. He just recently moved out.He was paying rent, and helping with the groceries. Then he lost his job. That was a year ago. He's now living with his gf, and they are living on her trust fund. ( which i'm not happy with) ,but what can i say? He made the choice to move out without a job. I just don't want him to end up like his dad, being 43 and living back at home with mom. It's not a good situation for either of them. My son also has no car. which is hindering his jobhunting. If anyone has any ideas I'll be glad to listen. I can't help him in anyway because I myself am disabled. I'm TRYING myself to live on disability, not a easy trick.

Diana - posted on 07/23/2009

Get him out now! Give him an ultimatum and stick to it. Don't end up like my poor Gramma who has my 48 year old uncle (who has 2 kids as well) still living with her.

Robin - posted on 07/23/2009

If he has two kids I'm assuming he's already been out on his own?? He needs to go, be responsible for himself. It's great to be able to help your kids when they really need it but if he thinks he's there to stay you need to give him a time limit to find a place of his own. You are entitled to your life now. If he is employed and can support himself then tell him you think it would be great for him to resume life on his own. That's not pushing, it's taking control. Good luck!

Stacey - posted on 07/23/2009

Have you began to charge rent yet? My Uncle did that to my 25 year old cousin and it worked for him...